A sweet, funny and short video about the art and science of lightening up as cause and effect of enlightenment, or whatever you want to call it.
An easygoing, understandable and joyous discussion of changes, of improvements, of energetic evolution and ascension-in-action.
It seems a swell of energy has been overcome, a sensation and knowing that I am seeing reflected in the blogosphere, and this is my heartfelt discussion of these energetic realities.
A song which celebrates change, and paints beautiful images which speak of self-empowerment, self-worth, and the benevolent outcomes I am now witnessing in my life and the lives of those around me. I sincerely hope you too are enjoying these fascinating times.
We are all simply learning new skills riding the waves. Some of us are new to it, some have been wave-riding for a while, but we must never forget that this energy is new for ALL who are incarnate now, so it’s a new experience for all, these waves.
Further, let’s remember that an adept is an adept, regardless of age, circumstance or even native desire. It may start surprising some, this new information and experience.
It matters not where you are, or think you are, on your spiritual path. If you have some time, someone who loves to talk about spiritual things in a fresh way wants to bend your ear about ascension. She hopes you enjoy these times, and this video, as much as she is.
Deeply Awake — My Son Demonstrates 9-28-13 By Kathy Vik
This is just so neat, I want to sing about it!
This morning, I woke up and felt clear. It was the second day of my life, and I say this is the most literal of fashions, it was the second day of my life that I woke up able to immediately disengage from the narrative.
Do you know what I mean? I had cogent, spiritual thoughts from the night before, about the first wave, things Kryon had said on a tape, Dolores Cannon’s work on the First Wave that I just bought, and there, sitting on that couch of wisdom and joy my elders fashion for me with words of a truth I know as my own, sitting there, pretty as a picture, was my awareness.
I had asked last night in meditation, is it really going to be ok to be here, above, just slightly above and to the left of things? I had been admonished about this since childhood. Told by The Others that it is shameful to not be right in the middle of the suffering, thoroughly convinced of the irreversible tragedy of it all.
Is it going to be ok to just ride the energy now, understand the energy, and not get too hooked into any of it? Is this the definition of mental health, or mental illness? The mark of a great master, or of a great mimic?
And I had my answer, I really did. I could see great superhighways of energy running, bifurcating, splitting into patterns, all in symmetry and in love, but I saw this as my life, great powerfully, forcefully blowing, free-flowing tubes of light, just running. Beautiful.
So, I knew within me that I had permission to finally be spending just as much time as I see fit above, connected, but above, my life, and as strange as it sounds, I am loving it all so much more from this perspective.
Anyhow, it wasn’t quite as abstracted this morning. This morning it was more like a sense that I could dip in and inhabit any of the feeling states I have come to identify as “normal”, that is just fine, or I could just spend a moment observing, in great love, in awe, for the creativity and symmetry of it all. More immediate, this morning, but no less part of something I see now as plastic, magically fluid, forever mystical and deep, this little, simple life of mine.
And then, I settled onto my bed and read the blogosphere, checked my comments (sad to say I do this…), and then I settled, once again, on a photo of my son I have sitting opposite my bed, on my bookcase, just a few loved knick-knacks on it, and there is Sam, from age four, maybe five, taken on an autumn day when he was four or five. Short hair, loving gaze, hugging a tree, red leaves surrounding, framing him, and a smile of utter joy. So much love and joy on that face.
And I had gazed on this photo quite a bit yesternight when in meditation, because it is nice to look at, but today, it called to me.
I felt Sam whole, and I tried real hard to feel him whole. He is a big one, a slippery one, and I do not have access to him as I do to most. This frightened me at first about him, and I thought myself a bad, a defective mother, because I found within him something so big that I couldn’t imagine it. It was beyond my abilities. Maybe that is “Mother Love.” Maybe that has everything to do with my climb within, to attain self-worth and love, but I do think it’s more than that.
There is something in him that is so big, and I looked at that picture and was feeling love, so much love.
I felt I needed to tell him, so moved was I with finally feeling, this morning, like I have just a bit more access to the part of him that has always felt a little off limits. So I thought, hmm, to celebrate the love I have discovered for him, I can’t tiptoe into his room… he asked me to let him sleep. What to do? What to do?
So, I sat quietly, and decided to just project myself to him. I was overcome with love. I looked at his face as it is now, but could see the baby, and I could feel the man, and I felt so much honor. For his path, for his choices, whatever they may be, so much love. And then I laid down briefly, and just held him, gave him a hug, and then, all at once, I was back.
I went on to other things, probably lit up a smoke, and went back to reading. But very soon, I heard Sam’s door open.
I wondered if my projection had disturbed him, awakened him, and I was very moved, when he came to my room, to tell him what I did. But I held my tongue. He had a big smile on his face, and he looked very calm. He wanted to talk.
He tends to reveal himself very sheepishly, and with an angry edge, so willing, he has forever been, to clip into derision and attack, if his revelations are in any way commented upon, encouraged, or praised.
So quietly, silently, I listened to him tell me about the dream he had just had.
Because my son is so reluctant with the details of his interior with me, I am unwilling to share them here. So I can tell you that this was a dream like a dream I had when I was about his age, a dream where I found myself within a loving family, kids and a husband, on a farmhouse, and we, I was happy. Fulfilled. Satisfied. Loved. Loving everyone. It was the opposite of what I had come to know occurred behind suburban walls. And that dream kept me warm on many long, cold nights, into my forties.
His dream was similar, but his was about true love. And I am here to tell you, I could see it coming from his face, glowing was he, in knowing, knowing, knowing, what it feels like to be absolutely loved by another, someone you love and cherish and honor and respect and feel part of.
And then it hit me. All at once, all at once, all at once.
I had gone to him, in his sleep, and I had given him the most pure love I could be aware of, just because he deserves it, just because I am moved to, and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, he interpreted this into a dream that would have meaning for him.
Could his soul use my love to spur Sam toward synchronicities which are lit up with love? Might this just be a way for us all to get home? I mean, it is a little spooky, and to quite honest, this is the second demonstration of this, so I guess I need to talk about that too.
So, anyway, in this case, I am going to take this synchronicity as a demonstration Sam engaged in to show me how it is translated when we get hit with love/light.
I realized, as he was talking about his specific dream images, which were vivid, individualized, meaningful and seen only by him, known only by him, I came to understand that this love we get given to us, that is ours for the taking, then, when we individually receive it, then we TRANSLATE it, and it is our translations of this light that are amazing.
I realized that I have translated this light to a call or purpose or future that, well, let’s be honest here, I am making it up as I go along, just as Sam, in a way, made up his dream images, used them, visually and emotionally, for him to understand he was loved.
Maybe the dreams we carry within, the aspirations we have as individuals, maybe they are simply the translations we have constructed to enjoy this light. Maybe it is ok to do anything at all with it, and enjoying it, reveling in it, I think this is the best way to greet it now.
Because, I think we are fed on this light. It is breathing us. It is available, in other words. All that is preventing me from knowing this flow, this creative geyser that is pure love, is linearity, my soul desires, the needs of those I travel with, the timing of the planet, of the experiment. So I guess there might be more to it than just which images do I want to place in my awareness.
This is deeper, more intricate, and more playful, more joyful, than I anticipated.
Thank you, Sam, for demonstrating to me that my awareness, my life, my experiences, they are my translation of this light, and as such, they can be changed in the time it takes to think a different thought.
I think this is the mechanism for “dropping down” certain realities, just seeing them as optional, voluntary, a lark and a whim, but, no, let’s do something else now. I think that is how chapters are opened and closed in a life, too.
So thank you, my son, my magnificent son, for once again bringing to our awareness a great truth, through your meek smile, a knowing one, a face touched by an intimate and personal translation of the light which has meaning, and may well become a homing beacon for my kid.
He is a kid, after all.
Last night, before sleep, he told me of the rash on his belly. Forever fascinated by the seeming fragility of his body, forever somaticizing, just to get his legs under him , I think, he had me feel the bumps on his belly. Just a normal variant, so I soothed him, and he spread lotion on himself.
This morning, just now, he told me that he thinks the rash is spreading, and it is bad. He is next door, our rooms separated by a decorative cloth panel. Hi tell him the rash is nothing to worry about. He volleys back that it’s getting worse.
I tell him to take a bath and use the pregnant girl oil. Then he bellows, “I need you to come and take a look! You just don’t even care enough about your own son to come look at his belly.”
And I then replied, “Um, Sam, your rash hasn’t changed and it’s normal…..” and then it came to me, “Um, are you needing me to come in there and rub your belly and love on you? If that is it, can you just tell me those words? “
“Mom, I need to you to come in here and love me and hug me.”
And so it goes. The training continues. We are both very stubborn, and very prissy, knowing full well we know full well. I see in him my grand impatience, for my slowness, for my need to have things down deep before they are mine, and after that, to hell with what anyone else thinks.
I’m going to hug my son now, and then I will come back to tell you of one more thing, one more precious thing, that these kids are teaching us, reminding us of, ok?
Mission accomplished, coffee replenished, and this last is a small thought, a compact and pretty one, so I will soon be signing off.
Last night, while listening to Kryon talk about the new kids, it dawned on me that there is a real real good reason why some of us were gifted with these unusual ones. There is a good reason why we had trouble in our lives. And it is a simple, simple, simple reason.
I can remember beaming with clinging, parental pride, but also feeling a little weird about it, that here is my two-year-old, and If we give him a broken radio or other machine, sitting there in his high chair, he can get it working. I remember so often telling anyone who would listen, and him, when he got older, that he has this gift for seeing things whole.
Seeing things whole.
This is what is described as a conceptual thinker. Someone who has no problem thinking outside the box, because to a conceptual thinker, the box is as much of a construct as the puzzle in which it sits.
And this is also described as quantum thinking.
And now it comes clear, now it is so clear, dear friends.
Are you like me, someone who felt they never fit in, even though they appeared to be able to do so whenever they saw fit? Someone who never could have satisfying conversations because they never went deep, far enough, and your need for depth in fact began to further alienate you as you walked through your days?
That is from thinking conceptually in a linear world.
Last night, Kryon asked the crowd, what would you do, human being, if you could see things whole, and every day you were told you must think linearly? What would you do if you understood the answer to a problem your teachers just told you they would now take three years to explain to you? What would you do?
You would quit, Kryon said. You would walk away. But a child can’t quit.
And so, then, you begin to see the split. These children either go within, or they act out.
And, you know, we are each of us these children.
Each of we first wavers, we each had a hard road, and it could be that it is as simple as this, a benign, loving explanation. We were thinking, all along, many of us, just like these kids, but we were in classrooms, universities, cities, sometimes, with not another one of us to smile at and hug.
Many of us became fast intellectual friends with great thinkers. I , personally, have a very steamy, sweaty, intimate affair going, intellectually, with many great thinkers. If I ever meet any of them, I will blush, and they won’t know why. But I will. I am in love with their mind, so hungry I am for the intellectual coupling which must occur, just through simple magnetics, when quantum forces meet.
Perhaps just as quantum as this new generation, but hobbled so monumentally by the distinct absence of anything that smacked of anything quantum, many of us went within. Living solitary lives, finding no satisfaction in the linearity that our companions seem to think is compulsory.
So, I think this wave theory needs further exploration. I am having fun writing, so I will go right into this, as soon as I sign off here.
I will tell my son thank you, if you find his demonstrations helpful. He is a leader. The voices in my head refer to him as “The King,” which I feel might be a bit grandiose, and then I think on the night when Sam told me he could no longer fight the urges, and he needed to dance for me.
He picked a song, a lullabye, and got real still, then he put foot to calf, hands to heart, and then he moved energy like a master, swirling, pushing, kneading, that little boy, right in front of my eyes, turned into an old Chinese dude with long beard and fingernails, honest to God, as he danced to that song, and ran light.
That night, before bed, as he was drifting off, I was honest with him, I told him what I saw as he had been dancing.
Sam quietly said, dismissively, “Oh, yeah, that’s who I was one time. He was like jesus, but it was a really long time ago.” and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Deep are the mysteries walking through my house this Saturday morning, and blessed am I to be among them, being caressed by these ancient knowings, so grateful am I to have this day off with my very own son. I am so happy to be in this skin, in this expression, in this moment.
And so it is.
You know, for all the high fallutin’ talk about Creator and the Divine that I talk about, for all the DNA and magnetism and cosmology talk, for all the “Ooh, dear me, whatever is the correct path for me?”, for all of that talk, what has it been if not field notes?
Chronicling the progressive changes which occur once intent has been struck, the numbers all line up, the timing is plum, and then, bam, bam, bam, start knocking this stuff out of the park.
I am not talking about the pursuit or attainment of a career, of fame, of fortune. I am talking about, one after another, the spiritual gifts that have been heaped on my table.
Really all along, but, my God, the energy is so different now, it is inviting. It’s a greeting sort of energy I sense now. Things that used to make perfect sense, like when watching a movie, reactions the characters have, reactions I have never ever thought about before now, now I watch shows looking from this different slant, seeing things more whole, I guess, and right now, anyway, seeing all things as good.
That sounds so milquetoast, and really, that could not be farther from the truth of it. Do you know the sort of steel will it takes to create from synchronicity, as a policy? So many are doing it now, and so, here, here is a mirror. Take a look at yourself. See how you are greeting your reality now, is it not just more friendly, less menacing, more grown-up, in a way?
Or is it just me?
See, the farther I go, the less concerned I am whether anyone else is having these sort of things occur to them, because the air is so sweet here, and all is benevolence here, so it becomes less and less imperative to feel real invested in stuff that used to just really consume me. Certain stuff has become very important, and other stuff, it just has passed away.
I know that is maddeningly vague, so it is here I will make my preface, or my explanation, or my tempering of something which occurred on, I think, the 19th. I’m bad with dates. It was two nights before the full moon. That makes it Friday (and that is how my mind works. Fun, but circuitous. Shiny!)
Kirtan was that night, and I have been hoping to befriend someone there, so I was briefly sad, but then, I decided to do a science experiment.
I decided to try out the idea that if I don’t have something that I very very much want in my reality, really really want it, and I don’t get it, then, I’ve always just gotten mad, or felt disappointment, or rage, or defeat, or any one of a couple dozen dumb thoughts, and then, oh my jeez-us would I then obsess. On getting gypped once again, once again not getting what I so obviously deserve, rada, rada, rada, rada.
So, I thought, today, I will conduct a science experiment. I have read and I have come to hold as true that I am calling to me everything, everything I am experiencing in this identified reality of Kathy Vik’s, so that means that I am supposed to be with the ones I am working with tonight, we have agreements, and this opens up time for something interesting on Saturday night, a rare night off from both kid and work.
So, I decided to assume that what is in front of me is what I absolutely wanted, and then experience it from there.
What a wonderful way to see things! Oh! It helped so much!
The moon was nearly full Friday night, and the milieu was very, very still. During my smoke break outside, it dawned on me that being here, quietly reading the newest 9to me) Kryon book, on this night, as some sort of preparation for the solstice, this is very good.
The book, written in 1994, it helped unlock many many secrets within me, stuff that has been riding with me since my training with The Teachers. I think it is time to discuss some of the things they taught, but more, I think now is the time to see this whole thing bigger, I began to see, that dark, still night.
During my break, I was so high vibrationally that I just layed down in the darkened break room, knowing I would not be able to sleep, wanting to talk with the voices in my head.
The dictation was overwhelming, as it sometimes is, and it was a glorious sort of overwhelm, being carried away, being in bliss, hearing everything all at once, and to the part of me who hears things all at once, everything was understood. I guess you can call that a download, but it felt more like a huge, huge hug. I was so happy, so clear, so clear, such beautiful thoughts swirled and danced within me.
But, you know, you can go so far that language is meaningless, and it is very difficult to recover what is found there, just for that reason. Some things cannot be languaged, and this is a frustration, but a good reason to be in a linear reality, so that you can then watch it play out like a movie.
So, what I said, in bliss, was something I have been saying for a while now, and is always effective, ever time, for me.
I said, I need to take this back with me. I want to take the essence of this back with me. And further, I want a way to access this information while my eyes are open. Give me key phrases, or but more, give me a physical experience, something that anchors it for me. Make it obvious, make it completely physical. Make it physical. And from there, let me have the information.
And that is what happened.
I got a stair-step set of realizations. They were for me, just in order of anchoring,
All of it, all if it that I have come to know, in my true heart of hearts, that is accurate and true, so benevolent and wise, still and deep, mystical and practical, all the miracles, all of the miracles in my life, all of my training, all of my extensive training, it was ALL REAL.
Then, in a puddle of tears of joy and recognition, I realized that I did not let God down! I have not let God down! I did not let myself down! I have not let myself down!
From there, I felt as if a very old presence was with me. The Teachers once gave me a prayer. It was so beautiful, so intricate. The cornerstone of the prayer says, May You Know God Indwells You And Is Well Pleased.”
And there, on that vinyl couch, on my break, long gone, far away, receiving an ancient blessing, from my bones, from every part of me, with that ancient something, three times we repeated that blessing.
And until I sat down to write this, I thought that was the physical event I was supposed to anchor with, because saying it like that was a physical thing, it felt very real, that presence, holding my hand.
So I turned on my side, and I napped. I set my watch for fifteen minutes, and rested my eyes.
The dictation was not bellowing, I felt peaceful. I told my body I would like to feel fully refreshed, no matter how much time I spend asleep, and thanked “it” for that gift. And then, I imagined my kitten Sunshine, who I held and petted and just loved loved loved before going to work. I imagined her, the softness, her purr how much I love her, how much she loves me. I soothed myself with that, and rested.
When I came to, I had the oddest experience. I knew I was at work, but what I was seeing with my eyes, in front of me, was the bookcase that I see when I am at home, in bed. I told myself I was imagining it because I love Sunshine so much, I was homesick, but, I’m telling you, I was seeing my bookcase, I felt like I was home. The smell of it, the feel of it. And I understood that I was in both places, right after I got one good hit of: Oh Crap! I SHOULD BE AT WORK! Then the reasoning kicked in, then I aware of what I was doing, and I knew it to be true. I knew I was at the hospital. But I knew I was home.
And now I see that this was the physical anchor I had asked for, not the blessing.
I got done, and got to my book, and scrawled the key phrases onto the back cover. I need reminders, cues, and each stair step thought stood on its own but was in the appropriate order to reach the desired effect.
The next day, I had a good rest, and then I needed to figure out where I should go.
I found, while searching for a kirtan, that a benefit concert was happening up in Northglenn, all Indian music. I decided I should go there.
I got there an hour late, which is my way, and am glad for it. It had gotten started late, and it was a long, long concert. Such beautiful music, such beautiful people. It was to benefit Brent’s Place here in town, a group of 16 homes which are provided for children and their family while the child deals with cancer. A volunteer had helped create the event.
The places I went in that auditorium I will have to save for another time. But I will tell you a big aha that I had in that auditorium, so happy, hearing music that soothes a part of me I never even knew had been riding along with me this whole time, dancing, joy in the air, celebration and remembering and not one hint of poignancy, not one bit of darkness was in that auditorium that night.
I went looking for it, and I found it in no one. No longing for home, the horrible longing all of us have endured. It just wasn’t there. There was so much joy, gratitude, peace, so much joy, there just was a different palette to paint from with those folks that night. I sensed glad hearts, relieved hearts, maybe a little weary, some of them, but many were strong and shining brightly.
At one point, I realized, well, isn’t this nice? Things worked out so well! Here I am, on the solstice, sitting within an Indian family who let me sit among them, clapping and laughing and crying to this music, and I can just feel the light pouring form me. It was amazing. And it was not jangly, it was healing, it was kind and neutral, wishing nothing for anyone, just shining bright on their beauty, and I saw everyone as whole and at peace and beautiful, and so, looking on this, I would have to say, the science experiment shows me that thinking in such terms yields richer emotional and experiential enjoyment. So I think I’ll opt for this.
For me, it just makes sense to field test this stuff, because some of it is just so phantasmagorical, that it just cannot be true, right? But, all data leads to only certain conclusions. Like when I told everyone, after resigning from my post as DON, because our work was complete, it just felt complete, and I told everyone, Well, I don;t know what comes next, but I am conducting a science experiment. I have been saying that the universe provides for me, and now I am going to test that.
And I did, and within a short time, I went up and kited a check gambling on slots, and won over $13,000. So, conducting the experiments is key, for me.
And so, I will end on a thought which really does deserve the honor of an experiment, but I just got it, during the concert, so it may take some time to field test.
I realized last night that I do feel like an equal to my spiritual teachers now. I am an equal to Archangel Michael, St. Germaine, Kryon, The Teachers. Equals. We are brothers, all. It just depends from which vibratory perch you are, how it looks.
And if that is the case, if they are as much a spark of Creator as me, and this spark I know is within me, I believe that now, then, the truth of the matter is that I am equal to anyone on this earth.
I did not immediately go to the seats of government, coaxing power to a duel in my mind.
Instead, I thought about all the folks who I have had struggles with, those who made me feel weak, ineffective, doomed, those who have been more than willing to tell me in no uncertain terms that I am a waste of space, and I have had those folks in my life. But now, I see that I am really not needing to cower anymore, not needing to play the game of servant and master, because it is a false one, and it is boring, rigid, and prone to inciting too much horseplay.
No one is above me, I thought, as the Hindi language caressed and reassured and welcomed me back. No one is below me. I am equal to all. Everyone is equal to the other. This is now something I take as a fact. I cannot refute it, just like I cannot refute my physical experience of being two places at once.
The truth is, we are all equal.
Funny how you can hear a phrase, a sentiment, a thought, all your life, and then, suddenly, one day, its power, its raw truth is revealed.
So, yes, this will need a bonafide experiment, but, really, I am beginning to wonder if social existence is not that experiment. I am beginning to think that no experiment must be devised, because I am living it. How I treat my child will be my experiment. How I treat the creepiest creep at work, that is my test, the meanest neighbor, the scariest bill collector. Those are the experiments.
And so it goes. Just field notes from a weird reporter who doesn’t talk about this stuff to anyone. A plump, graying woman who has spent a lifetime working as a nurse, and working her puzzle. Plain as mashed potatoes. While remaining deeply awake, anymore, it would appear.
Deeply Awake — Kirtan Revisited 7-6-13 By Kathy Vik
I was canceled last night and tonight, something that shouldn’t happen, I guess, being on a contract, as I am. I sort of didn’t do anything all that productive with my gift last night, but tonight, I knew exactly where I was gonna be: kirtan.
I have invited every single one of my friends, many more than once, and no one will come to kirtan with me. And maybe that is a good thing, because it is such an ecstatic experience for me, and I am so unshielded, so hooked in, when I attend, that maybe it is best for my friends, my family, to not see me that way. Who knows. I’d like some company, but it is what it is.
I have come to see kirtan as a bath of light, and a place where I give myself permission to do anything I see fit. I sometimes find myself at the back of the space, holding a corner, running light. Many times, I am visited by many lovely thoughts and visions.
Tonight, as each kirtan is, tonight was special, it was different, and I really would like to talk about what I saw, what I experienced, if you would indulge me.
Hinduism, for me, is something, for me, like finding I’ve sewn a $1,000 bill into the cuff of my jacket. It was always there, riding along with me, informing me, sort of containing me, but I was not given access to the information, the religion, until I was in my 50’s. Oh, I bought books, and I bought magazines, and I had iconography, but I felt a little like a stealer, sort of disingenuous and like I was imposing on something I had no business claiming even an interest in.
It was like that for me, with Hinduism. Not with the other religions, not really. I know Catholicism runs very deep in my past lives, my akash, protestantism, of course, and I love zen especially. I know I did time in that walk, but Hinduism, to me, it always made the most sense, because it seemed the most inclusive, the most imaginative, the most creative and artistic, and colorful. Joyous, lots of celebrating, lots of eating and socializing.
Seemed like a good thing, but, until I got introduced to kirtan, I didn’t own it.
That first time, I understood why it called to me, what its deep significance was for me, and that I was still, a part of me was still deep in practice, in India, a high master, multidimensional, ascended, there tottering around in the mountains, I am him, he is me, and it really is ok to just let your guard down and start singing, dear one, I was told. And I know the words, they come to me, and I hear those first few phrases, that first few beautiful tones, and I am off, I am far away, and I am as close as the dirt the room is anchored on.
I went very far tonight, and there is some of it I just don’t really understand, but there are a few things to relate.
At one point, I was overwhelmed with so much love that I could see, so very clearly, that all of these people who have come to me through the years, all of them who speak the same message, the same basic ideas, and many directly feed off of the last one who came through and blew me wide open, all of them, they have spoken to me of this time, and they have all spoken, given to me, such love, such straight and true love, such help.
And I went deeper, and I found myself floating, looking into a whale’s eye, and I asked if it would be possible to maybe look at each other as we really are, and not with earth clothing, and then I saw a face, and I saw that this is the face saying all the soothing words, throughout my life. The face of crop circles and a larger truth which knows of only boundless, individuated, eternal love.
This one, this one beautiful, benevolent being, is always with me, has never even ever left. Always here. Always right here.
And it speaks, and says many different things, but always right at the proper time, never early, never late, and whatever is going on in the life, the daily life, this is a gift, pure and simple.
But then, I told them, hey, the thing is, I am getting pretty tired of doing this same dance with a few items, I feel stuck about certain things, and I really want these karmic overlays, any and all karmic overlays, things I think must be plowed through, things I have convinced littlemind must somehow slay or conquer, can we just fast forward, just drop it, just try on a new set of clothing?
And it was done, just like that. Done.
They told me to expect that things are just not the same. Expect different.
I want to tell you about something that happened during kirtan that I still find a little hard to believe, to be quite honest. It is so honestly beautifully miraculous, but with anything like this, there will always be wiggle room for a doubter. Always and forever and a day. That is the way of it. So it really is cool if you think I was hallucinating, or whatever. Whatever. This is what happened.
I looked up and saw that I could see out the window and there was a very large tree out back, and the sky was dark, but then I noticed just a little patch of light. Eight o’clock, or so, lots of time before sunset.
And as I watched the light, I saw that it began to morph and change. It turned into many different, complex things. I spoke to it, and I asked it if it was a consciousness wanting to speak with me, and it morphed, and I knew.
So I asked it to go long, do something really awesome so I know I’m not making it up, and sure enough, there, right there, was a framed picture in light, of a sun in the upper right corner, and a white form that looked like a human, but with wings, it looked like, and punched right through its chest area was a heart, contrasted there. It was a beautiful sight!
Then I began to notice that there were more patches of light, and I thought it beautifully ironic that as the sun is setting, the sky is going from dark to light. And then I got busy singing, crying tears of joy, smiling like an idiot, I am sure.
And when I looked up again, the sky was clear except for one little cloudy patch.
And I understood it was mine to bust the cloud, to see it gone, and as I thought the thought, the cloud went away, melted.
It’s funny, that right now, what I see is the accusing face of someone I know very well, have known for a long long time, looking at me with a twisted smile, telling me to stop being so weird. Implying I am lying to get attention or some sort of nonsense.
Yep, there it is, just as big as day.
And so I will rebut this rude interruption with a little miracle, a little kirtan miracle, and then I want to stop.
The leader is a very clear channel, highly intuitive, very advanced. I love his energy, because it is so pure, it is so unimpeded, and it is so very joyful, so balanced, so tempered, it is, with his sorrow.
And I am always moved when I am led by this man, but none more than tonight, because when he spoke, which was rarely, what he had to say was so beautiful, and it contained longing and beauty and forgiveness and grace. Whether he knows of all of these ascension details or not, it is immaterial, because he has seen the face of God, he knows the truth of it, that it is all love, it is all within us, and we are here to love each other into remembering that we are worth more than we can imagine.
And I really felt so moved tonight, I wanted to go up and hug him and call him brother, tell him that I see him and I am glad to be seen by him, and as the kirtan proceeded, I found that, at the end of one of the meditations, a happy thing took place, where this mantle of karma and lesson was removed, and a snappier one is now on me, a lot lighter, prettier.
And then I was consumed in what I need to describe as neon purple light. It was really vibrant, and it was a lot like St. Germaine’s flame, but it had an iridescence, or a resilience, a tubular-ness to it that was amazing. And I felt alive with it.
And then I was told, you know, folks are gonna come to you now. Be ready for it, because they will need to have more of this. It feels good, and they will come to you now.
After the kirtan, after all the energy was set, and all the vortices stilled, thanked, blessed, it was time to eat.
I ate two scoops of dahl, I think it is spelled, it was fabulous, the rice was perfect, but before I could dig into this feast, I had to find a place to sit. I did, out on the patio, in the dark, at a table. My heart sunk a little, because I go there wanting to make friends, and sitting there in the dark, it did not seem conducive to that end, but I was hungry, so I sat.
Right away, a woman came up and asked if she could sit beside me. She had never been to kirtan before, and I asked her, in all sincerity, what it was like for her, what was her impression of it? She was blissed out then, smiling from ear to ear, words failed. I asked her if she felt expanded. She smiled and said yes.
And then the kirtan guy came out, and I told him what was in my heart, thanked him and honored him for his clarity of channel, his great love, and then thanked him some more.
He did not come over and sit.
The girl asked me questions, and I obliged. She wanted to know, when it came to it, why I was so happy. And I told her what I know to be true: that we are all one, we love each other very very much, and we have forgotten how much love there is in the world, for us and from us and between us, that’s all.
She smiled. I asked her to point out stars, some I knew the names to, some I did not, because I could see as she recounted what she knew, she felt some delight. I asked her about herself, and she floored me, telling me she was a student in high school. I told her that she struck me as someone who holds herself as if she were in her thirties. She laughed, looked proud. She said she loved science. I encouraged her love.
And then I got up and smoked. No one followed me, and once again, I was outside, on the front lawn, feeling adrift, apart, longing for connection, knowing it was just a few feet away, and knowing the timing is all wrong, that mine is to love, to shine, to radiate, and to smile, smile at myself and this beautiful night and all the people who agreed to gather on this night, of all nights, and sing names that for centuries others have been sung only with love, devotion, focus on the most joy, the most truth, the most purity one can manage to feel.
My way is a joyful one, and it is still a singular one, and I am at peace with how this is all working out. There is no accident to anything in my life, and I have cooked up some very nice story lines which are putting along, coming along, and who knows where any of this leads?
All I know is that throughout the day, I had opportunities to transmute, in real time, really quick, some pretty mean stuff, and I did it, I did it quick and then I was fine, and I am very proud of how far I have come. I think it is ok to finally say that.
I know that there is a lot of stuff I do not know, but I know things that make me very very happy, very centered and tranquil and at peace, and I think this is good. And that is the nice part to all of this. No one is in charge of what I tell myself but me. Nobody.
I close by telling you of a fascinating and wonderful group I am part of at facebook, and we pop into and out of each other’s lives asking, “hey, anybody else having this or that happen?!” and it really helps a lot.
Today someone posted something that really got to me.
A guy said that he is, you know, a reasonable person, basically, not a crazy person, but he has had increasingly bizarre ringing in the ears, and he has questioned his sanity, thinking, as he has come to, that maybe this is spiritual in nature, and not entirely and exclusively biologically based.
And it got me thinking. I posted something, after a quick, “Energetics knows no dogma.”
I said that I think that there is an overlay that is just now coming down, which equated thinking or living in a multidimensional or quantum or an entangled way, that this was to be interpreted by our biology as mental illness, and that it was fair game for others to ascribe expansion thusly.
And there have been a lot of positive responses to that post.
I think it is true.
I know I really, really struggled with that, and it was a scary thing to wrestle with. Really scary. Traveled with me from my adolescence, this fear of being seen as crazy. Whew. Thick, that one.
But I think it is burning off, and I am glad for that, because it is enough to be given sight, willingness to see life as a poem, and maybe this is just one line of an epic, but it is beautiful and contains the essence, the meaning of the thing within this one line.
But as it might just be one line, this thing we are living out, seeing to, taking so, so, so seriously, I think it is high time to enjoy its rhythm, and to see it for what it is. This is not a dirge we are living anymore, it is the beginning of a new time, one of peace and stability and of coming together, of inner calm and outer resolve, benevolence and patience and humor.
Kirtan is a blessing to me because it is a place where I figure old souls, or at least Indian souls, congregate to sing these chants, and I will indulge. I run light, I use a weird gesture language that I love to use but do not understand, and I have visions. I laugh through tears, and I no longer, for those hours, feel the weight of the world.
The leader always washes us clean of our sorrow, that first couple of songs, and then we are complete, done with it, we are free, we recognize our walk, we recognize our place, and we then start rejoicing in our present, our choice to raise our voices and recognize a truth that may be unseen or misunderstood by those of a different bent.
I am glad I live in a place where it is not illegal for me to express my individual understanding of God.
I am thankful that I have been willing, this lifetime, to exercise this right, this freedom, and have explored, and dearly loved all the religions, still do, still do. They all speak of love, and I spent the day, today, reading the new testament, walking old familiar ground with my friend, seeing where they so blatantly misrepresented things, and just where he could have said more, but the energy just could not allow it.
It was a good day. It was a fun day. Not a typical day, perhaps, but a nice one, and it ended with kirtan, seeing in others what I have come to see in myself, wanting to hold everyone, the whole world, but especially those in that house in the ever-blossoming flower of that light I have seen, and come to love.
I don’t know what they’ll do with it, if anything. But I was inside of it and breathing it out, flowing with it, loving it, expanding it, and giving it away to anyone who wanted it.
I think it was a good kirtan. It was a good night. I am tired. I would like to see a movie, but sleep sounds more reasonable. Tomorrow is another day.
Deeply Awake — And Maybe That’s Enough For Today 6-28-13 By Kathy Vik
I tried to channel, and what came to me was very nice, but I found I just couldn’t do it today.
I do not fancy myself a full-on channel only. I like to think that what I am doing is becoming a full meld, as much as I can, and if channeling fits, so be it, if talking about 3d land fits, then I do that. I can’t box myself in, and consider all of what I write, when honest, and I don’t write when I feel the need to lie, is channeled, but some of it is so pure, so sweet, so clear… I really wanted it today, knew I could have it, so I settled down and tried, but it just was not to be…
Instead, the first thing that happened is I do this thing with my hands, I guess it is called a mudra, but when I do it, depending on where I place this configuration on my body, or on the gridlines, different feeling states and different energies are available.
So I did it over my belly, higher up than usual, and this is what I was given, what I saw:
A silver mist came up from my belly, and it seemed to be very benevolent. I asked it to speak, and it indicated it did not. I asked it to write through me, and it indicated that this was not its purpose. Then it seemed more like a person, but it really only ever was silver light, and it came from my belly, came from me, but I kept wanting to run the light, run it through my middle, or down and up, to complete the circuit, and it let me do all this, as it hung there, waiting.
Once I was done doing to it, it did to me. It let me know I should go with it down this way. I did. It was the boss, that much was clear. It knew stuff I did not. It had remained unchanged as I had tried to change it, improve it, personalize it.
And I found myself on a street. I felt really really good, and I could see, feel, all the set ups, all the meetings, all the potentials, coursing through that street, why I was on that street, what I was accomplishing, loving, thinking. I was happy, and I had a good thing going on, and I knew this was just a moment of time, a sliver, to let me see some other reality, one I wanted, one that was coming to me very shortly. It felt HERE already, while watching it. I liked it.
And this is what the silver mist explained:
Physical situations are energetic set ups. What you long for in your manifestations, all that is being longed for is the mental, emotional, spiritual state which would make such realities emerge.
Longing for an object, or holding onto any object in my mind is missing the point. To glorify an object, a career, an accomplishment, is to miss what it is which created the event. It is short hand, and it is acceptable, but it is a misinterpretation of the data.
What is desired, always, is not the physical reality, but the emotions behind the reality, as the emotional state is the clue to all the rest of it, the thought constructs, the quality of the belief structures, the soundness of the spiritual thinking.
So this is what I was told. To see situations as paintings, mood paintings, and to not get too hung up on the particulars.
The key to manifestation, so to speak, is knowing that the feeling state desired is to be felt as clearly and freely as possible in the here and now. To call over to me the things which I prefer, it is best, most efficacious, to continue to spend as much “time,” spend as much love thinking and inhabiting this parallel reality that is cooking up, feel the feelings, notice how people in your imagined world treat you…
Soak it all up and then project it.
Have lots of fun in uncomfortable situations, situations you do not prefer, right in the here and now, by conjuring up this preferred reality, its matrix, while in the middle of a current problem.
Call to this other reality, the preferred emotional state, you see, and integrate them, standing there, solving this current 3d problem, the one that is chapping your ass,.
Solve the problem with the other reality’s feeling state.
So that is what the silver mist told me.
The whole point to this was to ask them about my identity. I know I am a whale, I know that I run the lines with them, I know I am with them, and they are part of me. I know they are part of all of us, but I feel I know them. I can tell you things about them that would look like I was just pulling stuff out of the air, but I know that state. I am one of them.
So I wanted to know about that. I know they are Pleiadian, they are our oversoul, let’s just say I have odd thoughts about them I wanted confirmation for, because I feel like they are God incarnate, they are sainted and they are to be revered, and without them this whole thing could not go. I know all that, but I wanted confirmation, I wanted to know why this is so, and what it all means.
And instead, in meditation, once again, I am led to the Sequoia. I am railing, saying I want to know who I am, where I am from, just how old I am, what my role on this Earth is, all that stuff. And what I got next, in that frenzy of I WANT?
I saw one teeny frail white flower. Deep green background. One white bloom on a thin, tubular stalk, gently swaying. And then I knew. The flower was at the base of the Sequoia.
And so, as always, I became sap, liquid gold sun, alive and coursing through the portal that is this tree, and there I was, feeling like I was sipping tea with the Seven Sisters, so close to my top are they.
And then I was done.
So I do not know any more about my ultimate role and identity and purpose, not in any really obvious terms. I wanted to know about one thing, and I got another.
But this, of course, is the object lesson, this is the instruction set for the day, duh, I am being told, with not a whole lot of humor, I might add, sort of a sense of “Oh jeez, she is going slow at this today…”
So here it is:
I asked for my purpose, role, basically wanted to know the entire scope of my awesomeness, history, purpose. You know, the little things. And I got a flower. I got a tree. I didn’t even get to see a whale. I listened to the whale song I enjoy to play when I am writing, and I felt oddly connected to all of it, before snapping out of meditation.
It is as if on a certain level, it is all made out of the same stuff, so it begins to lose its focus, its sharpness or meaning, and it takes zooming in, somehow, focusing intentionally, to get some of the information available.
This whole thing is like looking at a huge gem for the answer, the meaning, and realizing that by looking at it whole, the answer is unavailable, and by looking at it up close, you can only take in one facet, one plane, at a time, but what is within one facet, one plane, speaks to, infers, contains, the essence of the whole, and each of the other planes to boot!
An amazing process.
So, I asked for all this stuff, and I got what was in the emotional soup for me to digest at this moment of my discovery path.
I am in love with this process, and I am in love with my Self, feeling peace, finally, with feeling peace, and allowing myself to imagine that what comes next is indeed just (!) a physical construct which is formed through and for and by the emotional and soulic desires I carry with me, here, in my imagination, in my heart, in my soul, in my eyes.
I can’t say in all honesty all the places I have been, the entities I am or have been or will be. I am responsible for this: I am here, in my sparkly shirt, smoking, and writing and wishing I did not have to go to work tonight. It is just another day, is it not?
But I go through each day now knowing that it is perfectly natural to know all I know, to want as much as I want of the good stuff, the esoterics, and to have my own little life finally make sense, because, honestly, that is really all I ever asked for.
For life to not hurt anymore.
And it really doesn’t.
And maybe that is enough for today.