Deeply Awake — The Male/Female Agreement 4-27-13 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake — The Male/Female Agreement 4-27-13 By Kathy Vik

Are you familiar with the chakra system? For all my “sophistication,” there are some chakras I just don’t get, just don’t feel that I understand real well or feel real good about, but I will tell you, in just a few sentences what I am aware of about the basic chakra system, because it is salient to this discussion.

Chakras are energy vortexes in the human body, which work cooperatively to keep the ship righted. They are thought to be seven, and these are the big ones, but, really, our whole body, every molecule, is like a big, creative, black hole of energy. We are swirling vortexes of light and sound, but, for now, I am in my jammies and am drinking coffee. I am not a huge energy swirl. I’m a girl just trying to wake up.

So the chakras are in the color of the rainbow., ROY-G-BIV, remember? I know it may seem arbitrary, but over thousands of years, this system has been intuited and built upon. It is mostly correct. Red, orange and yellow are in the pelvis, hips and lower abdomen. They are sealed within the lower body, that which is below the diaphragm.

The lower colors and centers have to do with finding one’s place in the world, seeing oneself as one’s ability to effect outside of oneself. These centers have to do with survival, with sexuality, with the need, the impetus, to create.

Then there is green.

The green chakra is the heart chakra, located in the chest. I do think this is a stand alone chakra, always have. I have heard that you must turn your energy consciously to wind up sitting just right, and looking the right way, out of your heart. I think there is something to be said for that. A change of heart, a turn of heart, there it is, right there. The heart changes everything.

And then there are the higher centers, that which is above the main physical vehicle. Blue, Indigo and Violet, the head and crown chakras, the door to someplace else, right?

The chakras we need to know and understand for this discussion are the base/root/red chakra and the throat/expressive/blue chakra.

Red and blue.

The agreement was struck a long time ago, and it is an experiment in creativity, I think.

What would happen if a gender leans more naturally to force, and becomes overwhelmingly fascinated in what their force can do? The men will stay below the heart, with the heart as an option for those who wish to work. And women will have access to the first three, plus the heart, but they agree to keep their throats blocked?

How about that?

Men will have a real hard time doing anything but mocking love, and women will be unable to direct this mocking, unfeeling brute force of nature.


As a man, you notice that even if you are wrong, you can often get a pass. There is an unspoken and unwritten understanding. Men are legitimate. Women are not.

This can only happen in a system where the true wisdom keepers have chosen to keep their traps shut.

Now, this next part is intimate, and if you are offended, then I can completely understand that. However, being offended by something which is never discussed due to shame or fear or low self worth, I think those days are behind me. It think it’s time to start talking and just never stop, actually.

If you are a woman, read along. If you are a man, read along. But do so understanding this. I came in completely flummoxed about sexuality, and this was not abetted with what I became aware of as a girl and young woman. But, I had a heart full of love, and I knew that being physical with others meant that I was fitting in, so I did it.

I had boyfriends, and I had girlfriends. I have had wonderfully supportive and erotic relationships with both sexes. Ever since I was twelve, I realized, I will only be falling in love with what inhabits the body, and the body is good, each kind is good, so all love is good.

Yeah. That one hasn’t gone over that well. But it’s neither here nor there. I say it because you are speaking to a formerly married woman, and quite a naughty lesbian Lothario in my day. I know men. I know women. And I think it’s about time to discuss what I have observed.

I have been confronted with an image in meditation, and it is a wonderful one. It is that moment right before a man enters a woman. Right before.

When, in this moment, I am one way. While it is happening, I will be a brand new way, something I cannot be on my own. And then, afterward, I won’t be what I was before it all happened.

The moment before. That is a powerful moment. Let’s just stay there for a little bit.

An erect male member is just another piece of really cool biology. It is a little miracle. But think about it. I think men have, as a group, and there are exceptions (I know this because I have encountered them), but overall, I think that this maleness, this imperative to merge, to be inside something or someone, it is the essence of the reason for the biology.

I do not believe in form without function. Yes, the body has a few filigrees, but even they are mystical and highly coded. Nope. The function informs the form. The function of male, it is to enter. It is to go forth. It is to assert. Explore. Claim territory, is how it’s been interpreted.

And a female, she is wet. Men are dry. You’ve noticed that, right? Men seek permission. Women grant it. I mean, that’s just biology talking. Sure, permission need not be granted, and we have ample proof of that, but where is the respect in that behavior? Self-respect, respect for the other. It is lacking.

You don’t have to experience rape to know that the power gradient is all fucked up. Women lie there and men poke. Women do not 100% of the time achieve climax. Men don’t either, but at such alarmingly disparate rates, it begs inquiry.

We all know unconscious men, men who walk through their personal life as a modern-day Napoleon. Just taking what they want and charming the locals, but no one ever gets that this is just a dude who feels more of an imperative to conquer, to explore, than others, and no one has ever thought of telling him no. Those who do fare poorly. And that is the way of the world. Might makes right, he who has the gold gets to make the rules.

But the impetus to dominate, to take, to know, to explore and experience and have sensations, when is that coupled with the exalted anymore?

I will give you an example which has nothing to do with the swimsuit area.

Men have been in charge of science. And these guys have decided that the foundation, nay, the very bedrock to scientific exploration is REPRODUCIBILITY.

Do you understand the implications of this worldview, this mindset? If the designated deep thinker in the crowd will only acknowledge as real that which he can reproduce, we’re all in a whole lot of trouble, because that is just not how reality is created.

Reproducibility has to do with intent, and often, in these endeavors, group intent, social and mass consciousness. I know that may seem grandiose, but let’s say there is a guy working in a lab on a cure for cancer. What he does not know is that all experiments are dependent on something he is unwilling to consider: individual and mass spiritual intent.

You cannot reproduce your intent if you are not conscious of your intent.

You cannot be conscious of your intent if you haven’t even done the turn. If you cannot see through soft eyes, loving eyes, forgiving eyes, accepting and allowing and permissive eyes, if you are not willing to imagine beyond that which you can reproduce, what end is being promoted?

There is a drive, an impetus, that comes with male power. And this maleness, it is power, there is no doubt about it.

But, getting back to our pair enflagrante, the woman is poised to accept this next experience into her body. Into her physical body. And then it arrives, and she is more than she was, in a way that a man, even a man who explores all pleasure centers, will just never really get this lifetime (until the veil gets taken down.)

So, guys, just trust me on this one.

For a really really long time, this combination of raw sexual power, the need to build and project and create and be external, it has not been informed.

It has, this great thrusting need to explore and know, it has entered every holy place, every sanctuary, every place of rest. It implores us to compare, to contrast, to compete and to comply.

See, that sort of force really does not need its partner to comply. Not really.

And there is a world of difference between compliance and exuberant co-creation.

If you are a woman and you have had an orgasm each and every time you have had sex, then I applaud and magnify your name. You would be the first, I think. What do you think it says about the whole set-up, just the whole thing, that, on average, one group is fully sexually satisfied with every encounter, and the other group is fully sexually satisfied far less often?

Women, how many times, when we have felt not great, or have felt unappreciated or sad or tired or unseen, how many of us have complied? Knowing we may actually feel worse later, but the other person will be satisfied, and that’ll make things easier for everyone. “It is the least that I can do.”


Have we really gotten that unbalanced as a people, as couples?

Now, I am not saying all men are rapists and all women are Madonnas. HARDLY! Men, well, I have been male more often than female, and I identify much more readily to male energy than female. I just understand it.

But I don’t understand how it has been turned into a force that thinks it can direct, that thinks that directing is within the scope of its current capabilities.

What if the agreement starts to unravel?

What if, one by one, the woman, the goddess, within each and every one of us, men and women alike, stirs, takes a look around, and decides this is just not tenable?

Do you think any of this nonsense, the police state, legislating sexuality, demanding servitude to horrible, heartbreaking and humiliating work just to earn a buck, do you think, if the true female, our very own protective and heart-on-fire-with-love-for-us MOM within us got even a hint of what we were doing, do you think she’d keep putting up with it?

Did you ever have a mom or aunt or grandma who understood you? You probably thought she was some sort of saint, because you did something totally unforgivable, and you sat in a heap, disappointed in yourself and what you’ve done, and along comes this woman.

And her arms envelope you, and her lips tickle your cheek, and she tells a little joke and makes you smile. Then she looks into your eyes and you know, you know, you are already forgiven, the thing you thought was unforgivable is not even around anymore, and it you are then relieved and happy that there never really was anything to despair over.

That’s mom. That’s woman. That’s female.

It is the force that makes you do laundry and cook and clean and work and give until it doesn’t seem possible to do more, but you know that someone else’s reality, their happiness, can turn on what you do. And you do it carefully and lovingly, knowing that this great act of love will most likely go unacknowledged, but never unappreciated, and none of that stuff matters anyway. It’s what a loving person would do, so you do it.

That is woman.

And that woman has been missing. In the bedroom, she does not direct her partner. That great power that swells and overtakes her, and she does not tell it what would make her experience of it a good one, a great one. She does not speak, because she is afraid. If she did, it might go away.

This power is so connected to her own survival, her own base chakra system, that she has no choice, she tells herself, so yet again, the direction that is so needed, so necessary for the male’s integrity, is whispered or not said at all. The male does what he feels is right, which is what is good for him, which is only natural, rally, because the person he has been trying to communicate with just will not.

The male believes that what he is doing is good, because no one tells him differently. And, in many cases, let’s be honest, they have made it actually impossible to have an opinion. Try to sue a big bank. Try to sue Monsanto. See how far you get.

If I have the ability to effect tangible change through my efforts, my thinking and words and deeds, and no one tells me that what I am doing is uncomfortable for them, or wrong for them, or even disrespectful to them, and what I am doing is apparently constructive and no one seems to be getting hurt, everyone seems to be prospering, why would I change?

Why would I not do everything in my considerable power to quiet that uppity director?

I would only consider changing if there was a reason, a benefit to doing so. If I am well-wrapped, I will use this power, this force, for good.

But how can I know good if the people I am acting for and toward will not tell me how they feel?

Over many, many lifetimes, I suppose what I would begin to feel is untouchable. Inviolate. Entitled. Privileged. And then, along comes 2013.

If there are no checks, how do we get back to sanity? If women speak up and are mocked and ridiculed or beaten and violated, what then?

I think speaking up is part of the answer. Just de-sexing the whole thing. De-mystifying this power ratio, this weird slidy relationship we have with one another. Seeing each man as a reincarnated woman, each woman as a reincarnated man.

I please hope you know, or have allowed yourself to ponder the truth that, anymore, there are many women who have caught this bug, who are really hooked into the first three chakras. But they are tricky folk, because they often have the perspective that living in your heart produces.

But to fit into this world of reproducibility and proof and reason and cause/effect, that takes its toll on the most starry-eyed girl. There are plenty of men who are much more aligned to female energy than male. These pioneers deserve a whole lot of thanks. As do our militantly gay brothers and sisters.

But here’s the thing. Don’t you think it is about time that we just drop the agreement?

I know I am in a girl suit for a reason. I know I would have been too much to handle as a man, too pushy, too arrogant, too sure of myself. I know that. And I know now that to function in balance, our power needs to have the willingness and the ability to be directed, and power can only be directed when the director actually speaks.

What if, at the end of this experiment, we come to the conclusion that imbalance is not in good alignment?

It seems a little obvious.

I think it goes deeper.

I think this whole thing is something we set up for completion, for integration.

I would like to think that what we are creating is a planet of men and women, boys and girls, all functioning from their totality. Their own power has been realized, and their own direction has been heard, trusted and rewarded. Everyone walks around loving men and loving women, because we have conscious awareness that we have been all.

And it is deeper, it’s not just, “Ooh, I wore a boy suit last life, so I totally get being male.” No. Not at all.

It is, each man and woman, knowing where their center is, knowing it is inside and not outside of them. They know that they, their own consciousness, is co-creating this reality in this now. They create interactions which are humorous and graceful and exalted, comforting and expansive and forgiving. Each acts out of impeccable integrity which answers to only one authority, the self.

We have learned how to trust ourselves, because we have learned to be kind and gentle, how to resolve our conflicts so that everyone grows. Our fellow traveling companions have learned that they can make discernment based on their own awarenesses, but they cannot really make choices for another.

The raw power we see poised at the gates of paradise, a weary traveler just wanting surcease can finally say so. Each gives harbor and encouragement and love to the other. Everyone knows they are already intact, already whole, already secure.

This agreement, I think it is true, and it can be realized by knowing what we agreed to.

I envision a time when I will be a happy grandma sort, I am coming into her, and I will be joined by my mate. I don’t know and don’t really care the gender, although I think this last relationship, the one built for endurance and the last leg of this journey, will be with a man.

I am uncertain how to recapture those down and dirty, really raw, do it so intensely there’s blood on the walls sort of feeling states in this new awareness. Sexuality in this new energy is much different. I know it can be really really beautiful and mind blowing and transcendental. I know that.

But how is it translated in daily life for me? Is there a shaman out there for me? Is there someone who has the answers to the riddles I’ve cooked up, someone who will be able to tell me in one word that they are from the same neighborhood as me.

I am happy to socialize with anybody, any religion, and any awareness level. Really. I do it twelve hours at a time at work. I can hold my own, believe me.

But, in my private moments, when I am dressed without a bra and my hair is greasy, is it possible to know the sort of love which breaks every barrier, and can help me remember I am beautiful? I will settle for nothing less in my home. And I hope he’s out there. I had begun to have my doubts.

I think I would like to know life as a powerful, directed and benevolent force of nature. I want to move mountains, in accordance with how I have heard the mountain would like to be moved, not because I can.

And, by my side, I want someone who loves that I have this desire, though his is different. There is plenty of time, plenty of space, plenty of opportunity, and, for once, plenty of peace and love to simply be, and to do only when it is in harmony with the All.

I conclude by telling you this: I know that my sexuality has been disordered this lifetime. I have not been able to find much peace around people. I haven’t made that a secret. But, see, I have tried. I have been on sabbatical since 2003, this is true, and just like any good shaman or priest, becoming purified has been a good thing. But sexuality, you can’t get away from it. It is just one of the ground rules. One of the dualities.

And I think that is what is going on, one by one, our polar opposites, our dual poles, they are being catalyzed, they are coming together and creating something brand new, something never known before. This male and female experiment, at the end of it, I think what awaits us is a big huge release, a big surprise, and then lots of family feelings. I know that sex is good. It is a lot more than that, and its time has come, in a brand new way.

I think if each of us just decided to stand in our own power, without fear, with gratitude and confidence and excitement, and then we directed it, ourselves, nothing would be impossible, not even declaring this silly war of the sexes over.

Deeply Awake: Post-Solstice Peace


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Because the energy is so vastly different, or at least my experience of it is vastly different than in days past, I wanted to come and offer a smaller talk about how the peace I felt in meditation in July has indeed come to pass in my storyline.

I explain why it was as big a relief as it turned out to be, and a bit more about why I am feeling an inner happiness and authority and peace I’ve never known, due primarily to my studies into astrology.

I give a taste of what I most recently discovered about my birth natal chart, a stunner of a discovery, that I have been looking at a whole lifetime, and just never saw until recently. It’s a great tale, and I hope you enjoy it.

Later today I will be doing a video going into my charts a bit more, but I will include the chart which helped me see why this lifetime was as rich, and difficult, and fated, as it all was.


Here’s a hint of what’s to come, astrology wise:

Deeply Awake: A Past Life Montage By Kathy VIk 10-26-17

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A truly unique and beautiful video which captures my exploring a vividly remembered, and profoundly effecting past life, as well as a review of others I am aware of, through travel and meditation.

An enjoyable journey into the land of self-acceptance on a soul level, the video begins and ends with this quote:

“How many times have you known what you needed to do, but refused to trust your instinct?
That was your common sense.
Listen to it.”





As referenced, the mighty work of Wayman Stewart, From Astrology Arena. I post this because I hope it will spark curiosity in those who have not yet explored astrology, but feel drawn to it, as well as those who see it as a vast an beautiful study, enhanced with personal tales and growth.

The link is first, then the text, for Uranus and for Neptune in the 12th House. Here is the link to his home page, first.

Now, Uranus in the 12th House:

Uranus in the 12th House


Having Uranus in the 12th House can be an incredibly inventive, creative placement. There is a profound connection to the sheer brilliance that mankind is capable of. Planets in the 12th House need to be acknowledged but, at the same time, they should not belong to the ego. We should express them as belonging to everyone. Therefore, with Uranus in the 12th House, you can see the mad genius, the inventiveness, and the individualism in everyone you come across. You can develop the remarkable ability to just let everyone be, not judging at all. Once you come to bring your own Uranus side into the light, you can see that everyone is a little different and that there’s nothing wrong with that. People’s quirks bring out a deep sense of compassion within you.

Those with a 12th House Uranus intuitively know what it’s like to be outcast and harshly judged. Their parental figures might have stressed a need for them to stay in the box. Unconventional behavior may not have been approved of from early on, as well as any sort of independent thinking that challenged the parents’ authority. Therefore, your Uranus was shoved back into your unconscious, making it difficult for you to consciously be aware of it. However, no energy can remain fully repressed for long. When they’re unacknowledged, 12th House planets still find a way to creep out and re-emerge, usually in a self-victimizing or self-defeating manner.

Geopoliticus Child by Salvador Dali

With Uranus in the 12th House, this is often through an irrational phobia of not having enough freedom. You might see everyone else as being free and being able to do whatever they want, to an out-of-control degree, while you’re trapped in these frustrating limitations. You can constantly feel judged and misunderstood, wherever you go, which only amplifies your Uranus’ hidden desire to rebel. This causes you to push things to the edge, often without even realizing it. Your behavior can become increasingly defiant, provocative or contrary, because of these fears of judgment. The resulting alienation fuels the cycle of you feeling misunderstood, creating the legendary “suffering” of the 12th House. This placement, as well as Jupiter in the 12th, can also instill anxieties about being physically enclosed and trapped. Claustrophobia can be a serious reaction for Uranus in the 12th, as anything that feels like it’s cutting off your personal freedom is like a living nightmare.

Recognizing the Uranus within will unlock your full creative genius and allow you to express those rebellious, free-thinking impulses in constructive ways. Planets in the 12th House are usually channeled into artistic outlets. So, with Uranus in this house, you can truly become an artist that is ahead of your time. The source of your inspiration is a free-flowing detachment from people’s expectations and ideas. You intuitively understand that there is a very wide range of opinions out there on just about everything, which dissipates any sort of motivation for approval. Uranus in the 12th House deeply empathizes with the pain and the perspective of those who most would simply write off and judge. As an artist, you have an affinity with characters who wouldn’t exactly be popular or easily accepted in real life, no matter what their behavior may be. You can also be creative in very untraditional ways, working in a really idiosyncratic style that breaks all the rules.

People with Uranus in the 12th House can become incredibly tolerant, accepting a wide range of lifestyles and personalities in an unconditional manner. You have a sixth sense for what can make other people feel totally free to be themselves and you give that to them. This opens up the Pandora’s Box within, in a good way. When you can release the parental conditioning of not disturbing the status quo and behaving in an acceptable manner, your brilliance fully emerges. 12th House Uranus people have a habit of blinding themselves to their weirder, crazier ideas, slightly afraid of their outlandish inner selves. When they are able to embrace their weirdness, without self-judgment, there is a non-stop flow of ideas and intellectual possibilities that is unleashed.

In fact, this stream of inventiveness might become so overwhelming that it seems like you’re channeling it from some other plane. That’s the essence of Uranus in the 12th. This house symbolizes our connection to the collective unconscious. So, you can powerfully tap into the endless range of ideas from all of the inventors and innovators of the past and present and even the future. Uranus is about originality. Placed in this chameleonic house, you can take what’s original about the people around you and blend it with your own originality to create something not only refreshingly new and innovative but that will have a universal impact. Your artwork transcends barriers of race, gender, and class, finding the common, fascinating humanity that we all share.

The challenge with Uranus in the 12th House is basically accepting the fact that you’re not “normal”, as well as that there is no such thing as normal. Embracing being strange or quirky is something that inspires you and helps you achieve transcendence. It also gets you in touch with your amazing intuition. You get intuitive flashes that not only come out of nowhere but also seem to make absolutely no sense. But, if you learn to go with it, you’ll realize just what valuable insights you’re being provided. Your intuition can often send you all over the place, in a highly unpredictable, uncontrollable fashion. Your dreams will also be flat-out bizarre and totally nonlinear, especially if Uranus is in aspect to your Mercury and/or Moon. However, the more you flow with these intuitive abilities, the more they’ll seem to make total sense to you. And it might look as if you’re the kooky one, from the outside looking in. But, it will all be experienced as downright logic, in your head.

Posted by Wayman Stewart at 3:27 PM


Now, Neptune in the 12th House:

Neptune in the 12th House

People with Neptune in the 12th House have an entire Universe within that they might even struggle to know and understand. Neptune is in its ruling house here, which can bring out both the best and the worst of the 12th House. The negative aspects of disassociation, projection, and self-victimization can run rampant. But, this can also be the most transcendental, inspirational 12th House planet of all. It does all depend on what the 12th House Neptune individual chooses to do with this energy. These people are highly gifted on psychic and creative levels. Their potential to heal and bless the world and themselves is enormous. But, their Neptune needs to be owned first.

12th House planets usually go into hiding during our childhood. Their expression is often shamed by one or both of the parents, not fitting into the 1st House picture that they want to paint of us. And Neptune in the 12th can experience this early guilt and projection on a very deep level. These kids are often criticized for their high sensitivity and their ability to dream and drift. It’s not the realistic, thick-skinned personality that their parents want to see. Therefore, this part of themselves becomes repressed. It’s sad that the 12th House Neptune child’s amazing compassion and imagination is often rejected like this. It’s on account of their parents being too “practical” to value wild dreaming as well as being rather selfish. In extreme cases, they may even be insensitive and cruel.

So, when we learn to hide our 12th House planets, we start seeing them out in the world. At an unevolved level, these qualities become the world’s problem, not our own. Therefore, a repressed Neptune in the 12th person can feel like they’re constantly coming up against impractical, unrealistic people. Those with Neptune in this house are the chameleons of chameleons. So, they can readily blend into the more pragmatic parts of the world, distancing themselves from their unearthly inner Neptune. It’s a cold, hard reality, as their parents have constantly taught them, and they strive to adapt to it. However, this shape-shifting only becomes more and more desperate. It’s actually a form of them running from the fact that they are not realistic, which is generally not a bad thing, and that, deep down, they feel like they are not of this world.

“Private Moon” by Leonid Tishov and Boris Bendikov

The cruelty of mankind can disturb them to the core but, in the midst of their playacting, they might convince themselves that they’re unaffected by it. It’s no doubt that most 12th House Neptune people learn to develop very thick skins. They feel like they have to, in order to survive. So, it can be common for those with this placement to appear to be the leastvictimized. On the surface, that is. On the inside, they are very tormented by the pain of others, to the point where they might disassociate from it. Neptune in the 12th House feels like everyone else is so fragile and so vulnerable. They are very affected by people who are hurt, lost, confused, or rejected. But, they can fail to realize or admit just how incredibly fragile and vulnerable they themselves are. Their high sensitivity seems to magnify the pain of others. Failing to accept this sensitivity makes things worse.

People with Neptune in this house, therefore, victimize themselves through their denial and their constant disguise-wearing. They can desperately assume whatever role is needed in order to survive the world and not be crushed by it, especially if Neptune is conjunct their Ascendant. But, this can cause a rising break from reality, to the point where they no longer know what or who is real anymore. This is why Neptune in the 12th House can be so intent on burrowing themselves in what’s not real: the make-believe land of movies, books, or otherendless fantasies. Therefore, these people’s self-victimization can be deeply private and inward, more so than other 12th House folks. Escape is a particular tool of undoing, whether it’s through isolation, delusion, or addiction. Mental and emotional breakdowns are commonly experienced with this position, even though many people who know them might not have a clue, especially if Pluto or Scorpio is a big influence in the chart.

Now, all of this can be overcome, of course. Often times, it’s after all of this suffering that the light at the end of the tunnel is found. Neptune in the 12th usually experiences life in this redemptive kind of way. A big part of this process is finding the strength to bring their Neptune into awareness. 12th House planets are beautiful blessings once they are acknowledged and integrated into consciousness. We become victims of them when we only see them “out there.” But, when we see them both in ourselves and in others, we can express them with compassion and forgiveness. And since Neptune is all about compassion and forgiveness, this is a big part of the process here.

Basically, Neptune in the 12th House people have to totally accept what it means to be a human being: all of the fragility, fears, dreams, and every other color on the spectrum of mankind. The rather hardened attitude of the parents needs to be discarded and their softer, fluid side must emerge with total understanding and grace. They are very sensitive, intuitive, and unworldly beings. Even though this is not always valued in society, 12th House Neptune needs to realize their yearning to transcend the limitations of our society. These are the same limits that allow people to judge, abuse, mistreat, and reject others so harshly. Learning to do away with these things is what allows them to honor and respect the Neptunian humanity within us all. This allows them to empathize with everyone, as well as see a little bit of everyone within themselves.


“Breath of Autumn” by Dmitry Spiros

This is one of the most artistic placements of all. They contain multitudes, capable of expressing the entire range of the human experience and beyond. Once Neptune is fully brought to the surface in the personality, there are virtually no boundaries. Neptune in the 12th House individuals can make incredibly inspired artists. 12th House planets are perfect for being directed toward creativity and this house’s ruling planet, Neptune, is especially so. An extraordinary imagination and depth is available to be tapped into. There is something very transcendent about these artists’ skills, once they’ve realized their gifts. It’s like they have actually entered into another world. Neptune is all about the world beyond this one and art is the ideal opportunity to experience these different realms. Their creative abilities seem channeled from somewhere else that mystifies even them. It can be an almost supernatural process, as if they’re being possessed by some force.

There can also be a haunting vulnerability to these artists, at their best, eerily speaking right to some mysterious, moving place within your soul. But, they are mysterious souls themselves. Neptune in the 12th people, even in their everyday lives, are deeply touching and deeply touched. At the evolved level, they are capable of seeing right through people, as if they’re made of glass. The breakable quality that we all share is something that they can feel out and understand, as well as man’s potential for healing and saving. They grow by discarding worldly values, realizing that no one’s suffering should be dismissed or devalued. And by doing so, they can stop dismissing their own suffering, allowing their profoundly vulnerable side to be acknowledged and healed.

Yes, it is only fair to point out that Neptune in the 12th cannot save the world and shouldn’t break their back trying to. One of the biggest forms of victimization for this placement can be through attracting constant victims who suck them dry for their good will and compassion. Some boundaries are necessary. However, there are enough greedy people in the world out for self. So, society needs the wonderfully giving spirit of the 12th House Neptune person. Those boundaries will naturally resolve themselves if they keep seeing the need for healing in themselves and others. Therefore, they can recognize when they need to withdraw some and take care of themselves and when they’re healthy and full enough to give to other people.

A free-spirited sense of surrender characterizes a well-adjusted 12th House Neptune. These are the kinds of people who can live every day as if it were a dream, even if they can still function in the more mundane sphere of life. They find a sheer sense of bliss in the other worlds they create. And if anyone can be familiar with true, heavenly bliss, it’s these people. Why is that? Because Heaven isn’t a place on Earth, is it? So, Neptune in the 12th House can intuitively understand that their happiness will never be found on this earthly plane. That’s why they can feel secure in (healthily) escaping into another realm. They know it’s their soul’s calling to do so, as well as everyone else’s. Isn’t there a reason why our culture worships films and music so much? They give us what “the real world” can’t. A 12th House Neptune soul can come to see this transcendence as a human birthright.

The happiest of these individuals are ones who follow an artistic path, as it will allow them the nonlinear flow and creative self-expression they yearn so much for. They adore the freelance life, working whenever they wish, instead of on a rigid time clock, and getting as much of that sleep as they love so much. It’s very easy for Neptune in the 12th House folks to sleep for up to nine, sometimes ten, hours a day. Dreams are a highly important thing for these people and manifest in a really powerful way, especially if Neptune is in major aspect to the Moon. Like Uranus in the 12th, their dreams can be really odd and nonsensical. But, if anyone understands the messages of these dreams, it’s them. Sometimes, it’s in a way that they can just feel deep down in their bones.

Of course, the intuition of this placement is off the charts, particularly when it’s trusted and channeled. Neptune in the 12th is psychic. There’s really no getting around that. But, their psychic abilities can make their lives very chaotic, if they don’t understand them and are just overwhelmed by them. Deciphering their feelings from others’ can be difficult but is not impossible. Visualization tricks are usually the key to this, like imagining themselves in a white bubble or actually seeing a drawn line between them and the other person. Then, they can perceive the energies with more clarity. 12th House Neptune people can also have a tremendously healing touch. Sometimes, this is literal, as there can be a strong motivation toward healing, especially if Neptune aspects Mars. But, it can also just be in their energy field. They just thoroughly understand you, as one human to another, almost as if you already know each other.

Posted by Wayman Stewart at 7:47 AM

Deeply Awake: Revealing What Seems Self Evident, After A Massive Shift By Kathy VIk

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A revealing little video, is what I am giving to you today. I riff, for the most part, covering relationships, daily life, what the future holds, with this new energy.

Some new info regarding the news alert given 9-22, which I will post on my website, if and when I can locate it again. It is a warning, I guess, but  I then, go into what is REAL about ascension, and then, channeling, without accent starts. That was fun.

I hope viewers enjoy my relaxed tone, revealing what seems to be obvious now, but which might not be self-evident to all.

It gives Star People info, and discusses wave theory, among other ascension details.







As referenced 🙂


A Frank Talk About Embodying An Ascended State By Kathy Vik 9-14-17

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An honest talk which captures so much. It is a discussion that moves the energy forward, toward the 23rd of September. I realize we are at the end of a corridor, and there are things ahead that are brand new.

It is an important talk, because it is honest, and it describes how someone who is totally human, and broken, in a way, can move into a peaceful place.

It is raw, and beautiful, and intense. enjoy, if you’re into that kind of thing.



I think this song is appropriate. I hope you enjoy it. 

Resonant Frequency Creates A Lifetime Shattering Into Grace Itself By Kathy Vik 9-2-17

quency Of Consciousness:

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It’s pretty rare that I am consciously aware of the import, the power and the healing potential of a video, or a writing, as it is going out. I had that experience most profoundly when publishing the essay entitled, “Home.”

What ensued where overpowering physical sensation, all my senses engaged, I knew I was moving things with that one, and it was serving as what they hollered to me, over the deep siren blare, was a “clarion call.”

That motif has figured into my work again and again.

This is like that, but this time, I am deeply chilled, goose pimples everywhere, just that chill in my bones I have agreed to feel when I want to know something big is around, basically.

This video is deeply moving. It explains the resolution I have come to, both in identity, which, it turns out is not a choice at all, but in relationship. It tells of the restoration of an easing into that which is mine, but it also, forever and for all time, explains my life as a FORMER healer.

An old school one. A healer who lived the pain in order to heal the pain. Never again. I don’t have to. I finally understand what I’d been doing this lifetime, how I was keyed. It is this I reveal, and by so doing, hope to give to others an assist in their own koan-cracking, in this realm of shifting communication, relationship and meaning.

So, watch if you are brave and ready and it is calling out to you. I can comfortably say it is the finest thing I have yet produced. It is always gratifying when I come upon those who concur. Perhaps you will be one of them.






For your consideration. Keep in mind Harvey hit August 25.

Published December 12, 2016

Published December 27, 2016

Published April 2, 2017

Published 5-26-17

Published 8-12-17


Published August 28, 2017

Begin the video at 2:22 unless you’re a hard core secureteam 10 fan.




Deeply Awake Chats 2017: The Eclipse’s Void: The Reality Of Unreality By Kathy Vik 8-19-17

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One of the last transmissions prior to The Big One, this video is a great introduction as well as a retrospective.

Within are beautiful stories, and insights which I have lived and come to know are true, at least for me.

I am sending love, light, harmony and peace to all this fine, fine August day. Enjoy.





Below are the words, the explanations for what I have been seeing in my head recently, these opposing fields of vision, almost seeming to me now as an act of spiritual chicken.

This slow and self-paced study of astrology has helped me to understand how much arguing, opposing, restraining, controlling, learning, releasing, suffering, depravity, redemption, hope, despair, futility and courage I most definitely embodied this lifetime, prior to 2012.

(I have had a hard time loading visuals. Please forgive that.)

Sun 5, 08′ Pisces, in House VII; Conjunct Mercury (Retrograde ) 0, 55′ Pisces, in House VI

Sun Aspects:

Sun conjunction Mercury (Retrograde) orb +4, 13′, Sun opposite Pluto (Retrograde) orn -1, 45′, Sun trine Mars orb -3, 18, Sun trine Neptune orb -6, 07′

Sabian symbol for 5 degree Pisces (Sun):

“A man courageously sets about rebuilding a half-ruined tower overlooking the sea, on which a wreck is floating” (My interpretation, “Maybe you’ll be able to fix this fucked life, maybe not. It depends on you. But, yeah, it pretty much sucks.”)

Sabian symbol for 0 degree Pisces (Mercury Retrograde):

“A human being, half-male and half-female, stands in front of an office door. Nearby, a young couple is about to take place at a table where a sumptuous meal is served”(My interpretation is simply a wail so deafening that I long for death. I am alone, I am alone, they are happy and I am not.”)

Pluto 6, 54′ Retrograde Virgo, in House I; Conjunct True North Node 6, 14′ Retrograde, in House I

Pluto Aspects:

Sun opposite Pluto (Retrograde) orb -1, 45′, Mercury opposite Pluto orb -5, 59′, Neptune sextile Pluto orb +4, 22, Mars sextile Pluto orb +5, 04

Sabian symbol for 6 degree Virgo (symbolizing my Ascendant & Destiny), potent beyond imagining, capitalized and underlined, and, what my sweet, sweet Sun opposed for a lifetime…

“A poor woman steps aside as an arrogant and lavishly dressed lady walks towards a couple who is standing back-to-back” (My interpretation: “You are the stranger in a life filled with strangers who are mean and argumentative and not talking. Forget getting married. That’d just get super fucked.”)


And now, without visuals or details, here are the Sabian symbols for the natal chart I am assuming:

Sun 5 degree Taurus:

“In a conference hall, a man at the height of his glory is standing on a podium with a scroll of paper in his hand and a laurel wreath on his head. Among the participants, there is a three headed man who looks in different directions.”

North Node 5 degree Sagittarius:

“An ox is tethered near a windmill.”

Pluto 9 degree Retrograde Capricorn, in House XI

“”In the moonlight, a man holds an owl in each hand”


Given what I have accomplished and survived, I think a natal chart without affliction is the only just reward.



Deeply Awake Chat & CHANNEL 2017: Truth Unveiled At The End Of An Age By Kathy Vik 8-18-17

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I urge you to watch this clip prior to watching my video It is LOADED with triggers, it is more accurate than not, though a poetic dramatization of what is being experienced by some, and what some have already come through, and what we all will have access to more easily post-eclipse.

Note the title of this clip, that she begins the experience by looking at the sun, that she is suspended above the earth as this transition occurs, and then, please note, the story most definitely goes on from there. Let not the fear of death overtake.

She lives out a story, and of course it is a violent and aggressive tale for the movie goers, but the idea behind it is that of CONTINUITY. This is a highly keyed movie, and a highly triggering one for those in the first wave.



If ever there were a period of my life when applying the fine art of The Suspension Of Disbelief were required, it is NOW.

What follows is beyond my belief. I don’t know how else to put it. Let me explain.

There have been a number of significant and ponderously “real” situations which have emerged, many revelations given, much connected, and much understood, accepted and adopted, the last 24 hours.

Being in the sun helped immensely, and I want to stress to everyone the healing, restorative and necessary influence of the sun, how important it is to remove glass from skin, open car windows, take walks, whatever needs to happen, to get that light on the skin. It is fundamental now. It is CORE.

This video is a time capsule, I know this, because the information within is freaking explosive, and is not for this consciousness, not yet, anyway.

Am I building my hopes up too high for this eclipse?

Watch this and then decide. Invest the time, and then, tell me what you think, if this eclipse event contains within it potency and relief we simply are too fatigued to be able to imagine.

Get a snack, curl up, unplug, suspend your ever arguing companions of belief and disbelief… tell it to go lie down for an hour. Drink it in, absorb it, think on it, and then reject it as bullshit, or let it start working on you.

One way or the other, this video will change you in ways you currently cannot suspect.The channel begins at 16:45. The whole video contains light anomoly.

Watch in good health, peace, and unity, through the grandest connector of all: LOVE.



As referenced, below is the link, and the text, of my first formal essay, months from adopting the moniker “Deeply Awake,” and thus formalizing the expression. The opening shot across the bow, prior to my moment of growth, discussed within this work, (a month and 2 days to follow) it stands as the true core of my life conundrum, and the thing that nearly drove me mad, reconciling this energy.

Yesterday as I drove, I came to terms with quite a lot, in regards to this turn of events. I felt the anguis, the disappointment, the resignation, the contempt, the forgiveness, all simultaneously, and I felt a release from within it, outward.

Consider it one of the crosses I “bore,” which turned into a living, breathing tree of life during this transformation some have stood witness for, and many others will acquaint themselves to, later.

I wrote it after having experienced my first true “hit of light,” and describe a little bit about its after effects. The message of that first healing was about the validity of love, and that enemies are intimates of a much higher degree than simple love bonds contain.

I hope you enjoy this. It’s fun looking back, as we step over this threshold, as long, I think, as I do it with love, gratitude, indulgence, understanding, compassion and pride.

Judas Energy

by magartha

March 23, 2012

These are preliminary thoughts only.
As a youth, I was enthralled with the story of Jesus’ life and teachings, his death and his resurrection.
I studied traditional and non-traditional information about Jesus and his times. And then I saw a brand new movie,… our church youth group went to opening night at the Cooper Theatre in Denver, a cheekily titled movie called “Jesus Christ Superstar”.
That night I finally felt whole, curious that until then, I hadn’t realized something more was possible.
I recaptured the sense of having heard the word of God captured by Rice and Allen by listening to that soundtrack so often, I finally had to ask for a replacement… I’d worn out the first record.
I spent hours, hours and hours, listening to that soundtrack as I roller skated in the circle I skated in our garage. I came to know there was more to Jesus’ story than I could ever grasp, but contentedly rolled through those circles in deep joy and meditation, lucky to be bathing in this reality, feeling privileged to be given instruction in a less biased, more balanced way.
But I knew there was far more to the story than was readily available. His words, his life, and all the stories written since, resonated at such a high frequency. I craved it. i obeyed it. I longed for more, but was content in having more than before.
As a child and then on into adulthood, I knew I had an affinity for Pontius Pilate. He was someone I could understand. I thought his energy was “cleaner” than Judas’, that his choices, missteps and misunderstanding of the situation were so understandable in context, even benevolent. Misguided benevolence. Oh how much trouble we have created for ourselves through the use of misguided benevolence. I knew his presence gave the story its structure, it’s historical framework. He was a function of the political/consciousness agreement field of their day. Nothing more. A device. By “clean”, I mean I see him as a necessary framework giving the story the structure it needed for the unfolding of the tale.
Pontius was the syntax. The apostles were the words. Jesus was the scribe. God was the author.
What then was Judas?
After many of these recent abundant clearings and recalibirations, my guides treated me with something last night. I was finally given access to the soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar. And as I listened to it last night, I was able to sail on Angel’s wings and touch the face of God, amazed at all the glittering facets of this incredible gift given to us by God through His Identity Sananda.
And I wept the most, was the most touched, by Judas.
It was then I understood that Pontius Pilate’s role was one of logistics, a gate only, a neutral function of the temporal reality.
And now, finally, it was Judas who I came to recognize as me.
I have always known I was present during those years. I have always had every confidence that I had been involved.
Maybe I wasn’t Judas. Who cares? At this point I really don’t. Judas was a ROLE only. In this dense fog of duality, he played his part expertly.
But to have betrayed our Beloved? With a kiss?
How does the incarnaion of Judas reconcile these acts, and their consequences, without judgement or shame, but instead with the all-encompassing Love Which Is God? How do I manage bringing the ugliest parts of my Selves back into alliance, allegiance, and unity?
Through forgiveness.
To forgive is to be touched from above and within all at once. When done well, this tone, this essence, transmutes, fundamentally ALTERS the past, present and future (as we have always perceived it).
The act of sincere and deep forgiveness is to be in-spired by God. YOU become the Violet Flame when you actively and selflessly forgive. The person you are setting free is your Self.
It’s easier, more accessible, to forgive others their wrongs towards me. I enjoy it, as it brings a release I cannot explain but know transforms.
Ah! But to have known those rare moments where I have been literally knocked to my knees with forgiveness for my Self?
That is bliss. That pierces the veil. In those holy moment, I could do nothing more than stagger, caught up in a rapture in which I yearn to spend the remainder of my days. To forgive MY SELF is the most Divine Act I have done as a human 3D entity. Through that doorway came the Eye of God, looking deeply within me, and telling me, murmuring to me, declaring as already DONE: God Indwells Me And Is Well Pleased.
I stood up after falling in divine grace before this Eye of God and I went to my mirror. I saw this Eye of God. And that Eye of God was in MY EYE.
I have never been the same. Everything has changed because of that moment of grace. That grace washed me clean. Now it’s just clean up and preparation. It is finished, just as Jesus said. I knelt before God, I was forgiven, and realized there is absolutely no higher truth than forgiveness of Self. To have been touched by this divine love…
There really are no words.
But there are so many translations.
So if I played that role in Judea, high-five. I did it well. It is done. It was a chronicle preparing us for this moment, the first day of the new moon of March, 2012.
And this bliss, this state of suspended and never ending grace is in everyone. EVERYONE. EVERYONE. The potential to touch this reality in is EVERYONE, and we are only just awakening to it. It was always there. It sustained us through the pain and suffering, the acting out and misbehaving, the emanations and consequences of disordered thought, disordered being.
God puts everything right.
God sees everything as right.
God is the most high, and this word we use to express this essence is just a slip of paper compared the the mighty tree of its reality.
And in that moment of transfixation, of transfiguration, I understood in my heart of hearts that THIS love is IN ME. It IS me, and I a vibration, a manifestation, a color of It.
And, so it followed, if this God is actually me, then it is in everyone on this planet.
It is in your neighbor playing his music too late at night. It is within the bad news you receive and the good news you receive. The flotsam and jetsam of earthly life is washed clean by forgiveness.
I wish to live in a steady state of gentleness to self and others, a state of grace led by the highest love I have ever encountered, staring right into me as I clutched my carpet and folded into the ever cycling love of God, always fresh, always new, always adoring, always benevolent, always wise, always present.
All Hail the New Earth, where we will and are walking in humble respect of ourselves and our co-creators.
Blessings from Magartha.