Deeply Awake — Released By Kathy Vik 5-21-18


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An easy, bright and healing talk about being released from my previous life’s work, and what it is like for me now to be here.

My dyslexia kicks in, so I need to clarify the dates and numbers, for those paying attention to that portion of the message:

5-20-2018 reduced to a 7-11 day, 5-21-2018 is the standstill day (for me) and 5-22-2018 is then a 9-11 day. No further information, but a rock-solid knowledge that all is well, and that it’s rational to feel and know peace.






Deeply Awake — Duality’s Absence 12-15-13 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake — Duality’s Absence 12-15-13 By Kathy Vik

It was only when I was saying the “blessing” Sam asks that I make for him each night he’s here with me that I realized what I needed to give thanks for first, after thanking them “for this day,”

I always start there, have since I was a kid, but then I thanked them for having been able to sustain a very high vibration all day long. It was gentleness and love and synchronicity, all through the day, and within contexts which used to only scare and intimidate and distress me.

Then I came out to the living room and started doing my counting again, reminding myself of my inner ceremony for this corridor I am walking, and then it really dawned on me, sitting down to play a video game, running the numbers in my head, this corridor that has been fashioned is purposefully intent on us leaving duality behind. To explain, I have to review the ritual I have devised.

On the 12-12, I knew it was a portal, and that we were then to walk those 9 days, from the 12-12 to the solstice in an even higher manner than we walked it last year.

Last year things felt muffled and odd, during those nine days.

This year, I understood it was to be a contemplative but celebratory, joyous walk, not into uncertainty, but into known and confirmed bliss.

You see, when adding up the numbers, a numerological corridor also exists. Let me explain.

Take December, 12. This is a three. And 2013, that’s 2+1+3=6. And then, you add the days to this to get your information for that day.

12-12-13, that’s 3-3-6, which is 12, which is 3. Quantum energetics, the catalytic energy of the higher self in physical manifestation, that’s what 3 is to me. These are important numbers, and their placement is instructive. I understand Europeans switch the month and day, and so, I add the day and month, a 6, and the year, a 6, for a 12, which is a 3.

It bothered me that the 12-12 did not start as a 1. I thought that would have been perfect, and for a time considered this thinking incorrect because the 12-12 didn’t add to 3 this year. But I had been wrong.

I chose to honor the 12-12 by considering triads, trinities, threes in nature, in the psyche, and to think on this energy and imagery whenever it seemed appropriate. It was in the back of my mind that day, a mystery, sort of floating in the air, a thought bubble, a question. It was an unsettling day, in many respects. Not very pleasant, really, but better by the evening time. I hope others enjoyed the big day.

12-13-13, that’s 3-4-6, I think of it as 7-6, and that’s 13, which is a 4. I thought about the stability of four tires, four table legs, and all the other fours. I thought of the energy of four, as I see it. Stability, groundedness, centeredness, Gaia. Nature. Biology. The stars, the sea, the deserts. Gaia.

12-14-13, that’s 3-5-6, which is 8-6, and that’s 14, which is a 5. From new beginnings and Gaia energy comes change. I considered the human body’s 5 points, the starfish, but really, 5 is not my favorite number. I enjoy change, more than the average Joe in some respects, but I have never liked the energy of 5.

Unsettling, and unsettled, seeking out, full of thrust and an uncomfortable asymmetry, for me. I braced for it, and it did not come, that day, but I anticipated it. It gave me a chance to hang with the energy of change without being blown willy-nilly by it, which was nice for a change, haha.

12-15-13, that’s 3-6-6, which is 9-6, and that’s 15, which is a 6. From new beginnings and change comes the energy of the higher self manifest, love in its countless forms, family love, deep and connected love, that to me is 6.

The love Gaia has, but in a bigger way that the energy of 4. Connected love, integrated love. I’m not explaining it well. I was not disappointed. Today was the day that was my best day yet, it was a miraculous day, and it came back to my being able to remember, and actually seek out, connecting with my core, with my soul,thinking on All That Is, thinking on my embodying it, having permission and willingness to do so. So today was indeed a 6 day.

12-16-13, that’s 3-7-6, which is 10-6, and that’s a 7. Mastery, divinity. Some numbers I have lesser access to, and 7 is one of them. I am hoping that tomorrow I am given new ways to love 7, understand it better, and know its energy more fully. I know that it is an important number to me personally, for this year and throughout my own life, so I anticipate good things. But in a general way, no, 7 is a mystery to me yet.

12-17-13, that’s 3-8-6, which is 11-6, which is 17, and that’s 8. I like this is an 11-6 energy, and 8, I am getting much more comfortable with this vibration. It is unity and circles upon circles, a closed system of utter balance, symmetry herself. It is inner meeting and mirroring outer. Balance. It is the innate becoming, it is manifested fullness.

12-18-13, that’s 3-9-6, which is 12-6, and that’s 18, a 9. Holy smokes, could the numbers get more beautiful? Beautiful. Auspicious, this date. A nine. Completion. On the 18th. Hmm. I feel that this work is being done on other levels, at sleep mostly, and our days, as we walk through this ceremony, or at least as I do, is just a shadow, just an echo, to what is going on during this time of preparation.

12-19-13. That’s 3-1-6, which is 4-6, a ten, a one and a zero. A 1. New beginnings, fresh manifestation, birth, next to the null point, the void, that which contains all, knows all, creates all. These numbers need not manifest as anything, not even a blip on the radar, and numerology is a quirky thing that way. Like most of the quantum world, if it is not taken into account, life goes on just fine. But thinking and meditating on these entities, these numbers, and the sequences, patterns, it can bring things into focus, and can inform one’s walk. At least that’s what I think.

12-20-13, that’s 3-2-6, that’s 5-6, an 11. An 11 day, the day before the solstice. The day of mastery. A gift, given to us, to tell us what we have come to accomplish can be considered complete.

And then, 12-21-13, 3-3-6, back to the start of the sequence. 6-6, a 12. A 3.

Do you notice what is missing from this walk through the numbers? Do you notice that duality’s symbol, 2, is absent? Do you see the symmetry, the messages and the gifts inherent in the numbers?

This is why I have not done more numerology. It’s sort of the feeling I get when I think about a customer my dad once had, who had invented his own language, ala The Hobbit. He’d told me about the guy when I started to read Tolkein’s work, and it served as in inner warning.

You can go too far with some stuff, I think is what I came to think. You can go so far out there that the real world begins to not make sense, and you’ll have a hard time fitting in if you give into your natural urges for fancy thinking.

MI don’t think my dad was considering any of those things. He thought it was a good story about an odd duck. But that’s how I encoded it.

Numerology sort of does that to me, because I have not talked to another living soul about how I feel about numbers, and have only taken glancing blows at the subject in my work. But I am in love with numbers, how they feel, and they talk to me, always have, just as nature has always talked to me.

It’s there, I think, for us all, they are eager to take our hands and make our lives more rich and full, but it just looks like nonsense, coincidence, delusions, to some. And to them I say, yeah, I can see that. But so what? I feel better contemplating these things, so just back off.

You do know I am talking to myself now, talking to that doubt, that dark rider of mine. It is what I have been acknowledging and telling to pipe down now and then today, but good god, it’s been so gentle, the interplay. “Just crawl back under the covers, dear one. No need to fret anymore. No need to puzzle it all out, no need to take over. Shh. There there. Go back to sleep.”

I think of this worrier not as an unruly child, but an overwrought and overtired one, someone who needs to be told they no longer have to do the hard job they were never cut out for in the first place. There, there. Rest easy.

So, the numbers, thank god, are the numbers, and the only thing, really, that could possibly be in dispute, then, is their meaning.

Above is the meaning I have assigned to this time of high ceremony, inside my body, my heart, my head, my soul. I feel a meld that is at times so comforting, at times glittery and exhilarating, and at times it gives me a headache, right at the base of my skull, and my eyes sort of hurt.

I normally do not write at night, but I was moved to tell you of this odd thing I found when running the numbers. An absence of duality. This is how I wish to close.

I believe that for those who are switched on now, mindful observation of this time in our history will yield for us a synthesis, a final dropping away, of the contrasts which have driven us to distraction in the past.

A blend, a merge, a unification of opposites, in ways that will come to delight us. Rising above duality, but, truly, I think what it is is an absence of it. I wonder if that’s even possible inhuman form, so hesitate to say it, but that is what comes through again and again. An absence of duality.

I have heard so many discussions about duality, of light and dark, good and evil, and this duality in which we are ensnared has always, frankly, been a little exhausting to me. I knew I should like the yin-yang symbol, for instance, but I don’t. It makes me feel tired and lonely, thinking on it. There is something better.

And it starts with the energy of the three. Creating from two that which is new, and, as Kryon puts it, it represents that which is unchanged, though it changes that which it interacts with. What better explanation is there for God?

And our portal stars and ends with this number, absent of a 2.

Make of it what you will, but I wanted to share with you how I am celebrating things this year. I know everyone does the Christmas thing, and I will participate, but it’s so much more than that for me. By the 24th and the 25th, I’ll feel complete, this I know, and so, it seems the best thing to do now is to allow these days, these shining hours, play out.

I have one more thing to say.

Outside the building, before going into work on Friday, I was idly passing time, too early to go in yet. I had the radio on. And on KBCO, the song that was introduced as I cued up for a quick game of Solitaire was David Bowie and Stevie Wonder singing “Someday at Christmas,” a heartfelt plea for world peace, that someday at Christmas, it won’t be long, all will be unity and brotherhood, love and peace.

I sat there and just shook my head, shivers, laughter. That is THIS Christmas! We did it! All those songs about our better natures, peace on earth, tolerance, THIS is the Christmas it really starts. Last Christmas we were still washing off the amniotic fluid. This Christmas I think there are many of us who understand better now our roles, to hold light, and what that really means, and might entail.

This is no small thing we are taking on, and it is good to have an awareness of that as well. Things are changing, and for the better, but we are in for some big changes, big shifts, and maybe still some topsy-turvy times. But we were born for this. It is our responsibility, our joy, and it is why we came.

We were built for these times, for this time, and it is this Christmas that we can sing those songs, little ditties, maybe, to our friends and neighbors, and with a confident grin, we can sing them knowing what has been accomplished, what is to come, perhaps, a bit, and we can hold joy for having made it.

There is hope now, like never before. There is help now, like never before. We can embody more of what we always wanted to become, masters, loving people, gentle and soulful people who are strong in mind, happy in countenance, funny, many of us no longer hung up in drama and depressive thinking, and we can relax. We can finally relax. One day at Christmas, it won’t be long.

Christmas has never been so merry, and I have never felt so loved. I hope this is your experience, and if it is not, and it’s something you think is attractive, know that your attraction is your ticket. Just holding the longing is like holding a memory.

There are many around, now, who remember, and who are unafraid, and happy, and connected. It will become more and more obvious now, and this is going to be quite a ride, now. Hang on.

Duality is already absent. The numbers are our reassurance and the wink of Creator, saying, I got this. Relax. Enjoy. Celebrate. Things have changed, and duality is absent, absorbed, no longer something to hold in awareness, no longer an issue, a necessary part of the numerical sequence, and life on earth, but not a consideration.

Duality still has a seat at the table, in the larger scheme of things, but is less obvious, just one number, and absent when it needed to be. During this walk through a celebration and homecoming.

Thanks for hanging with it. Hope it helped.

Deeply Awake — To Be Comforted 11-29-13 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake — To Be Comforted 11-29-13 By Kathy Vik

I’d considered this should be called “Comfort and Joy,” but, at the end of it, I knew it had to be titled “To be Comforted.” To be comforted is different than being comfortable, and/or joyful.

I want to take you on my journey, how I got here, feeling a comfort that is like a grandmother’s love, draped over me, around my shoulders, it is, now.

I hope you, too are feeling comfort, feeling loved and feeling safe, just for this moment, just for now. Suspended above but curiously connected to the events, the obligations, the plans and mechanics and linearity. Now, right here, there is peace in abundance, a solid, in-our-bones recognition of self, of selves, and of our totality.

I got here by having a healing this morning. I woke up feeling really good, as I do anymore just brimming with very very obvious and profound truths, knowledge, ancient and true. They’re so obvious and feel so right that it seems like folly, an absolute waste of time, to write them down. How could I possibly forget THIS? I ask myself.

But now, as I sit here writing, I have no recollection of what was given me when I came to this morning. None at all. I am somehow hard-wired to feel an aversion to writing, when feeling that way. It’s the obviously wrong thing to do, in those waking moments. So I have long since given myself a break about that, rather than forcing myself to transcribe that which would prefer to be revealed, in other ways, using other methods, maybe, is what’s going on.

I guess I could “make myself.” I think a lot of people, and more than a few who I’ve met who are deeply into metaphysics, “make” themselves do stuff they don’t want to do. Everyone has heard of a “Honey-do” list, and there’s a whole psychology around motivation of others. And, of course, there’s advertising.

So, lots of us wind up doing stuff we would rather not do, we tell ourselves.

Yes, there are tasks which are less aesthetically pleasing than others, but where does the aversion come from, for certain activities, and the pull toward others? What makes one person adventurer, and another content to work in a cubicle, or doing the same routine daily, ad infinitum? I think that’s a big reason for my divorce. I found it something like a prison, being in a reality with no escape hatch, no hope, really, in doing anything but what was expected, and sharp, awful, shitty repercussions if I even thought about it.

I felt like I was going to die, back then, realizing I’d have to find a way to live very small, content with a family, a home, a husband, and keeping this as the prime objective.

It would require trying to keep things good, without actually doing so, patching a leaky boat while bickering, or, more often than not, in stone cold silence.

It was an interesting dynamic, and one that befuddled me. I had been as genuine and true as I could have been, about my weird beliefs, and all that stuff, because it mattered so intently to me. And it was accepted, at first. Btu soon, just like my family had done before, I was found to be too “in the clouds,” not down-to-earth enough, impractical, and listening to a different set on instructions than my peers. This is an interesting pattern, and no one in my boat is going to do anything but smile, nod their heads and say, oh my god, that’s how it was for me too.

Trying to conform, to really get the lessons, down deep, past the marrow, unlocking, in the process, the keys to life and death, crucifixion and resurrection. I’m not the only one who swims these waters. I’m not the only one anymore.

Today is 11-29, an 11:11 day.

I was told, heard it somewhere, that there was a second, and even more auspicious 11:11 in November this year.

It is a good day to write to you, because there is much here to be comforted by, and much joy in the very selection of words, that I feel like I’m breathing it, and am hoping you will be able to, too.

Yesterday was blessed, from beginning to end. My sister and I both got emails about an unexpected bounty, a gift of epic proportions. These multiples played off our tongues as we talked with each other, overjoyed, on the phone. That’s how the day started.

It was not lost on me that the very first person to ever donate to me because of my writing, wired me $11. I see multiples routinely anymore. It’s odd to look at a clock and not see a multiple. Or license plates.

Psychologists call this attending, being aware of certain stimuli to the exclusion of competing stimuli. I call that a good attempt at languaging the exquisite nature of synchronicity.

It’s a poor man’s description of the daily life of the filthy rich.

And, while taking a break,, talking to Sam just now, I glanced twice at my watch. Only twice. At 2:44:55, and then at 2:55. And so it goes.

Numbers, as I have said, inform much of my thinking, and I do the math with dates, times, and events, and it’s very fun. It speaks to the weave, the threads that innervate our truer reality. I am comforted, more than I can express, by having stumbled upon the Chaos Astrology website yesterday. I googled “free astrology chart,” and Chaos came up, but I went with Astrolabe, which also offers a very solid chart, free of charge. I did mine, then my son’s, read them said by side.

It was fascinating.

But, I kept getting the message that I needed more depth, the houses and all that stuff, an interpretation. And then I found Chaos. Holy God. I told Sam, it was as if someone had been trailing me my whole life, taking notes, and then put them in a twenty page essay about me. But, that’s not quite accurate, really. I understand that our astrological chart is us winking at us.

The big self who dreamed the whole thing up, who had certain propensities, proclivities, preferences and agreements, we select which snapshot will best represent our core to ourselves, if we ever get to looking around. That’s how I felt, reading my chart’s interpretation.

I felt immensely comforted. I felt, if it’s ok to say, vindicated. Recognized. Seen. Understood.

Not by the astrology site, no, no, of course not no, but by my own self. Littlemind and big mind being seen as one in the same, finally, once and for all. Congruence. Explanation. Confirmation. Comfort.

We had a brilliant Thanksgiving, Sam and I, and it was at this point of the action that we took a break and headed out for a movie at the place where they feed us, and then on to my dad’s for pie, and his gift, of course. These activities were memorable, and gentle, and easy. But then the action picked up again, once home, again. Sam requires much time alone, and took it, while I got back on the internet, because I had only read half of the interpretation of my chart. I wanted to keep going. I did, and laughed out loud so often, was so touched, and this feeling of coming into myself more and more sort of, then, settled within me. I sat with it, and then decided to read Sam’s long chart.

It was amazing, reading them side by side. I gained a clearer appreciation for him, and saw the things about me that are troubling to him, per this interpretation, an adept and skilled and accurate one. I realized that there are things about me that are just naturally uninteresting, or even repulsive, if I can be forgiven in using that term, a term I use to indicate there are primal urges at foot here, things that are magnetic, attractive, repulsive, quantum.

Our little family’s individual pursuits continued, until evening. The night ended as peacefully as it had begun. We’d been held in the arms of love that whole day, and sleep came easy, and was deep and soothing, perhaps because each of us knew we had a treasure to explore the next day.

And then, this morning, coming to, and realizing that I am suddenly wealthy again, and wondering how this is going to play out, if I will be able to act differently this time. My son handed me the envelope, and within it is a check of $1,000, and five 20’s.

I looked at the date. Not payable until 12-1-13. A 1. New beginnings. You should see the numerology around yesterday. Stunning. Meaningful. Beautiful. I considered, mid-day, how much of a blessing it was that this check was post-dated. It’s a game changer.

“It gives me time to be ready,” I said, out loud, while walking to the garage to retrieve Sam from school today. The healing I know, now, happened after I came back upstairs, after having deep thoughts hours earlier, during the mid-day lull I enjoy when Sam is at school.

I settled in, and was just amazed at the Kryon recordings I was told to pick out.

The themes were so obvious, the language, the concepts, coming together in different recordings, taken from different years, even.

Yesterday I had a melding which I knew to be profound, but felt was best left un-described, for some reason. In such a state, I find, just as my morning thoughts fray and then dissolve into the atmosphere, so too might this meditation.

And yet, I knew, was told, no, dear one, this is something you are going to notice. Part of that event was in telling “them” that I want, in my head, to have “their”voice(s) be distinctly not mine. I want to KNOW with a simple device, a profound request, that they identify themselves now. And they have.

I am not alone.

Add this healing to what occurred to day, oh my, the places I have gone. I put on Kryon’s “Physics to the Max.” You can enjoy it here:  .  As I have told Sam, and my readers, my desire is to be a quantum biologist and physicist, clunk terms for what is to come. Interdimensioanl biologist. That’s better. High consciousness, high science.

But, I don’t really want to do it until base 12 math is the norm, or at least taught in school.

Seems like a profound waste of time, living in lesson, waiting around for the structure to support the concepts.

So, I figure, that’ll be next time. But anytime I can get my high science on, I do it. It soothes me, and I have had profound visions while contemplating physics. So I went there. But first, and I’d forgotten, a lady preps the crowd with words, and a song. She healed something in me, right the, listening to her. A song about how things were, inside, as a child, and then, one day, you wake up into a land where no one smiles.

And I’d spent many years, I realized, lamenting this deeply, and all the changes being there wrought within me, but this grief is now, I realized, finally over.

She ends her song with the reality of dwelling within that sacred land again. I heard the song, and thought, I was given two doses of this magic, this reality, really. Once, in childhood, and again, with The Teachers, when everything thing had turned, once again, magical, understandable and bearable.

So, I sat on my bed and cried. Wept. And within this crying was its source, a love and forgiveness and tenderness I have come to rely on, and which increases its magnitude in my life as I increase my willingness to believe it exists. I saw, then, my current money issue is a fractal. There are fractals everywhere, always, but this one was up for review, release, and my love and gratitude for it.

I realized, in a flash, that I purposefully slowed the tap to a trickle to learn appreciation. Appreciation. In poverty, appreciation. In extremity, appreciation. In violent stories which played out in, really, each of our lives, violence of all kinds, all stripes. In hopelessness, appreciation. In depression, appreciation. In madness, appreciation. In widely held disregard, appreciation.

And I finally understood that this was the overall message in the trip I’d been compelled to take, without enough money to travel comfortably, I did it, and I appreciated each and every moment of that arduous trip.


It washed over me, and I understood that now, now I can really have everything, because I can trust myself with it.

I thought about my dad. His great wealth, and the pain poverty and wealth have caused him, the peace it has brought him. But his lessons, I finally understood, were not mine, around the true gods of the fading yuga.

My lesson was to learn appreciation. I don’t know what my anyone else’s is, for  and I don’t need to know.

Each are just as profound as mine, just as meaningful, and, I know, just as obvious, if I were to read their astrology chart interpretation, or their energy, I suppose.

As the energy changed, on the recording, I changed my awareness, and then I listened to Kryon, and off I went, yet again, understanding things whole, seeing things that I know to be true, and are beautiful, and are the way this whole thing is set up. Benevolent. Benevolent is the only word I know.

Benevolent, so breathtakingly magnificently deeply magically beautiful. See how words lose all purpose, in even trying to embody this moment, this awareness, this knowing. Eventually, I came back. But things are different now.

The feeling of appreciation and of being comforted, they have not left me. Toned down, perhaps, but not that much. Still palpable. Still here.

As I poured my coffee and did the tasks at hand, I have thought about things as they are to then be. How will this go now? Without worry, able to see trauma for exactly what it is, and to love it anyway, what next, for me? And then the thought falls to the ground, shatter, and I walk on the shards, knowing them as the rose petals they are.

Everything is synchronicity now, and questioning a thing is just adding a vibration to it I’d rather not, anymore.

I understood that Kryon’s discussion about DNA and magnetism and astrology were to assist me in cementing what I had learned the last 24 hours, to integrate it and elevate it and raise my perspective above the mundane, the personality, the mechanics, and see it for what it is, part of the Mandala of The All.

So now, the activity will pick up pretty much where it left off. After he and I have had another block of solitude, Sam and I will get in the car and feed ourselves, buy a movie or two, a snack or two, and head home, to shelter, under the dark night sky, we will be, at home, tonight, the stars no longer a puzzle, but friend, the stars no longer untouchable, but merely the ink from the pen which writes this story of my soul.

I understand without having to re-read this that this is probably the finest writing I have ever produced, and for that I am grateful, and stunned, as always. I know this has to be written, and it may not be to the liking of some.

No one in my circle reads me, and, today, I thought about that in a completely different way, this morning. I had all sorts of fits of pride, disappointment, loneliness, and a whole truckload of other lessons to learn from having the people who I placed in key supporting roles to be anything but supportive. They have at times been derisive, dismissive, worried, disinterested and deprecating.

It has not been easy to be like this, around people who think being like this is an irresponsible luxury, and something that just makes life too hard for someone they love.

And so, I worked those puzzles, and, believe me, they were intense. Just read through Deeply Awake, and you’ll see all kinds of themes being played out, worked on, tinkered with. But the thing is, that it is only with relief I think on my loved ones now. I am glad for the freedom they gave me.

This morning, one of the only thoughts I can remember from my morning of big, huge thoughts was this: Imagine how fucked I would have been had they cared. I would have felt the need to edit. I would have stayed small for the remainder of my days. I am so keen to criticism of the things I value most highly, and have lived a life of silence, being told to just be quiet.

To break out of it was astounding, and I am nothing but grateful for my loved one’s cooperation. It would have been so awful, so hard, and probably impossible, had I not felt the anonymity of disregard I have known from these guys.

And so, I released them, told them thank you, and am doing it now, again, so that it is indelibly stated, I love everyone who has come out and played with me, even if they took on the role of villain, and even if they still, at times, throw the cape around their shoulders when they talk to me. It’s fine.

It’s not an indictment of my character, not an indictment of theirs, just how it is, how we do it.

It’s said that life boils down to choice. And I have always found this a harsh and sterile philosophy, and judging one, because, my response, looking at my predicaments and sufferings, my response to this would always be feeling like I’d been bitch slapped. All I wanted to say was, “Oh, really. Oh, really. You have no idea. You just don’t get it. I’d change if I could. I really, really would.”

“It’s all a choice,” implies that those who are smart make the good choices and those who are not smart make the bad ones. It implies that those in the know are the chosen ones, the lucky ones, the ones who have got willpower and who are masters of their own wills. And although all of that is true, it is superficial, and, when the shit hits the fan, it just doesn’t stand up.

It is a flimsy and brittle construct, and it is angular, sharp, and cuts people.

It led me, this dissonance, to ask, “Why do I choose what I do? What compels me to make the choices, have the preferences and the desires I do? They are so different than those around me. How do I reconcile this?”

That’s a bigger question than it appears, of course.

It led, in the end, to giving myself permission to choose that which I had been told I could not have or know or be.

It led me to choose something many still don’t understand or appreciate as they should.

It led me to a two day healing, and to this profound appreciation I feel for my very own self, in all its complexity and its singular purpose. I have been healed of an ancient pain which I had, I know now, since the very beginning, since the first time our consciousness tumbled, right up until this ascent we’ve made, back into the light, into the awareness of duality as a tool, not our definition, and of darkness as the beautiful creative force it has always wanted to be known to be.

I asked them to personify themselves, and talk to me. And they do.

But now it’s my son speaking, saying, “Mom? I’m waiting for you.”

It is time to share what I have learned, by being able to be kinder, more tolerant, more encouraging, more whole, and seeing this great love in everyone’s beings, no matter what their choices are, no matter what the stars wrote upon them at their birth, no matter what words are spoken or left unsaid.

And I can do this, now, finally, because I have been so loved, so recognized, so comforted.

Deeply Awake CHANNEL — Lighthouse By Kathy Vik 8-18-13

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Deeply Awake — Lighthouse By Kathy Vik 8-18-13

Once there was a lighthouse. It was a sturdy and stout one, and one which had not been in existence until fairly recently. Fresh paint, now just gently weathered by a few storms, many, the lighthouse admits, on dark and starless nights, there were many it did not think it was going to survive.

A little thrill runs through our little lighthouse, thinking, happily, gratefully, joyfully, of those pounding waves, those deep, velvety nights of terror. It shivers then, and catches itself thinking, “my goodness, I did get scared there, a time or two!”

Time passed, and storms passed, over our little lighthouse, having been painted green, then red, then pale yellow. The lighthouse had never been able to shake its sense of loneliness, a visitor who would visit during daylight hours especially, and would skip and jauntily dance around the lighthouse’s base, reminding the little lighthouse it had never had a real conversation, and certainly never with another lighthouse.

The little imp would scamper and toss barbs, little passive insults, about something over which the little lighthouse had not one iota of control. The little lighthouse knew it would always stand here, on this gorgeous cliff, alone, without a fellow, without companion.

And so, on a particularly hot and still summer night, the lighthouse did something that later made it chuckle, in surprise, at how clever it was.

The little lighthouse was alone that night, on its rocky hill, and was glad of it. It began to think on the words of its perpetual visitor, reminding it that it would never see any of its own kind, ever.

The little lighthouse thought about it like this: If I can make up that imp who always insults me, maybe I can make up another lighthouse instead?

And so, right there, on that muggy night, the little lighthouse seemed to pop right out of its pale yellow skin, and there it stood, just its light. It looked at its solid form, there in the moonlight, and knew that everything was good, just as it should be, and it was safe.

And then, it taught itself how to fly.

It did not seem that much of a stretch, to the lighthouse, since it had already seemed to pop out of its own skin.

And so, the little lighthouse went on adventures, and visited many coasts, many shores. It saw how other lighthouses were constructed, and was awed by the creativity and beauty of each and every one of them.

He saw that some lights were just amazingly, beautifully bright, and others were dimmer, but all seemed to have this great ability of helping, just by doing that which came totally naturally.

These visits, these excursions, they became an almost full-time thing, at a certain point. The lighthouse found itself completely in love with everything that was out there in the vastness, of such immense beauty and singularity of purpose.

And then, the little lighthouse realized a great truth.

The little lighthouse realized that it had gotten very comfortable being away from its own self. The lighthouse had nearly forgotten, truth be told, that it had a form, a structure, something form which it had sprung.

And so, because the lighthouse had gained much in the way of knowledge and inner balance and good common sense, the little lighthouse decided it was probably a good thing to settle into its old building once again. To sort of snuggle into the bricks and wood, and to smell the old carpet, hear the sizzle of the bulb during a terrific storm, and yes, it felt good to have lighthouse feet that were once again cold at night and hot during the day.

And so, the lighthouse got accustomed to being a lighthouse again, having had many adventures in imagining.

One night, when the little lighthouse was re of many ships in its sea, the lighthouse had a thought.

It realized, in wonder and curiosity, how it was that in all of its travels, having seen so very many lighthouses, probably all of them, the lighthouse wondered how it could be that it had never struck up a conversation with one of them.

For all its longing to know other lighthouses, it reflected that it had seen probably all of them, on every bit of coast, around the whole globe, but he’d never once said “hi” to any of them.

Then the lighthouse had a thought that chilled him.

None of those lighthouses had said “hi” to it first.

Come to think of it, it had always given the little lighthouse pleasure to know it could visit any lighthouse it wanted, but never really be acknowledged. It had enjoyed being invisible, and this had led it sometimes to wonder if any of it was even real.

And so, in the still of the night and into the hours of dawn, the little lighthouse stayed with that thought. And then it decided that it should be left there. What had seemed natural, flying around and observing, filling up on the beauty and magnificence of the whole thing, was beginning to look less like some sort of special gift, and more like not enough. What had been amazing, so exciting! had now, quite suddenly, become not quite enough for it.

But it did not know what to do, if anything, so it just sort of crawled into its light bulb, and enjoyed beaming this light, not even to anyone in particular. It smelled the grass and the fishy mists blowing in now, and it just became.

Later, the lighthouse would wonder just how long it had become its light, joyously oblivious to anything but being its light. It could never fully reckon the time. But it knew its light, very very well, by the time its next visitor came.

One chilly October night, our little lighthouse became aware of a sensation it had never had before.

There, on the outskirts of its awareness, like a touch which could just be a whisper, there was a presence.

The lighthouse decided to really get into its bricks, into its planks, into its light. And when it felt really really solid, it called out to this presence, and said, “please, come here.”

And there, on the horizon, at first just a rumor of a pinprick of light, there, coming in now, coming in faster, was a great a powerful light.

The lighthouse became nearly blinded by this light, and could not see anything but that light. It had zoomed in very very fast, once the lighthouse had made the invitation. And there, its base turning frosty, the lighthouse was blinded by a light no one else could see.

The little lighthouse said, “Oh, my, who or what are you?”

“I,” said the light, “I am a clever one, like you.”

“What do you mean, clever?” the little lighthouse asked.

“Do you really think that you are the only one of us who have figured out how to fly?” And with that, the big light who’d come to visit our little friend, it bent in such a way to allow our little friend to see its visitor.

This was an ancient lighthouse, anyone could see that. In all its travels, it had never seen one this old. It was strong, massive in its strength, and it was well tended to, that was clear, but it held such an aura of wisdom, and quiet, and humor. It was beautiful, but a little intimidating.

“So,” our little friend asked, “You visit the others too? Why have I never seen you before?”

“Well,” the old one said, “I saw you flitting around a time or two, so I doused the light. I was not ready to meet you, nor you I.

It was not the time, because you were just learning your skills, and to speak with you then would have decreased your capacity for self-reliance, or so you told me, during dream time.”

“You must help me now with this ‘dream time’ stuff,” interrupted our little friend. “I don’t have dreams. I never go away. That has been one of my sadnesses.”

The ancient one chuckled, and said, “It seems there’s a couple of senses you have yet to develop, and I am happy to help you do so, if you wish, but I can assure you, we know each other well, and you and I are great friends during dream time.

That’s actually why I showed up tonight, you know.” And with that, the ancient lighthouse peered out onto the sea, and seemed to incongruously, imperceptibly, sway with the current, with the waves, with its friend.

“So,” our friend asked, “Why exactly are you here tonight? You know, I used to have a visitor who was not very nice. Are you going to be a similar nuisance?”

The ancient one quietly said, “That imp was one of your greatest teachers, young friend. That imp helped you think in ways that most of us do not. And so, I think it best to see all visitors as friends, but that is just me.” The old one turned and faced the sea again, this time for far longer, resting, it seemed, unwilling to discuss anything further.

The little lighthouse felt fascination, and was willing to suffer any little rebukes, understanding, as it sat with this visitor, that perhaps being guided in these next few steps wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

“So, then,” our friend, at last, offered.

So then, why am I here, is that your question?” the old one asked, tenderly now.

“Yes, my friend, I would like to know of your news. If you kept your light off for me before, then there must be a reason for you making this visit to me this night.”

“Indeed there is a reason, and it is a juicy one, one I think you will like a lot.” The ancient one now seemed to shiver with happiness, and seemed suddenly much younger and brighter than before.

It beamed a sweet, warm light at our little friend, and told it this.

“I came to you tonight to tell you that there was a reason that, in all your travelings, no other lighthouse spoke to you, and it never occurred to you to speak to one of them.

We, all we lighthouse, yes we have bulbs and machines and things that can break and need repair, sure, we get knocked around a lot and need a fresh coat of paint more often than most buildings, but, there is something about lighthouses that you do not know.

We are all able to be lighthouses because we have inside of us a light that matches the light we put out. Do you see? The light within you, the light which allows you to travel and think big thoughts, this light is internal. The bulbs and the machines, these are secondary, and if one structure gives way or is burned or broken, then another is built, and we then inhabit that structure, we light up the bulb with our will, with our purpose.

And that is the truth about lighthouses.

That is the dream time, but, you know, dream time is any time. Dream time can be all the time, my friend.”

The little lighthouse was the one, then to turn its light toward the sea. It had to think. It spent many moments in deep contemplation. It then turned toward the ancient one, and asked, “Why do you tell me this now? Why do I have to learn so long into this solitary life that I am connected with everybody else? Could I have been having conversations, friendships and such, all this time?”

“Oh, my little friend,” the old one chided, “don’t you see? If we are all connected, all part of a big light that splits itself off into these structures of ours, don’t you see, you HAVE been in conversation. You just need to see that this is what’s indeed going on, that’s all. No one kept this from you. You just weren’t ready until tonight.

You told me so yourself…”

“In dream time?” our little friend asked.

“Precisely,” said the old one.

“And so,” it continued, “tonight is a nice one to tell you that there is a change going on. You see, before, during your traveling years, we all had an agreement not to acknowledge one another, to not acknowledge ourselves, you see? But, during dream time, we decided that everything was ready, and we could start talking to one another again.”

“You mean, there was a time when we had these sort of conversations, together?” the little one asked, in awe.

“Oh, yes,” the ancient one chuckled again, “We used to have better conversations than this. Well, not better, just different. But they were different times, my friend. What is upon us now, they are even better times. This is just the beginning. Oh! You’ve not seen anything like it! Oh!”

And our ancient one was then overcome. It sniffled, and its light flickered, just for a moment, and then it continued.

“There are some of us, as your travels have shown you, that have been on coasts for a very long time. Our bodies were made to withstand a lot, because we wanted to be around to help you new ones, who are ready now.

There are old ones who have been asked to help the younger ones, and that is why I visit you tonight.

But before I continue, you must understand, remember what I said about when a lighthouse gets burned or broken and needs to come down? Then a new one comes up in its place, and the same light comes to dwell in the wood and concrete? Do you remember that?”

Our little friend did not need much more of an explanation. All at once, it understood. And it said, “So, are you here to remind me of this? To maybe not be quite so fooled about my age, my naivete, my not knowing some stuff?”

“Oh, I knew I picked the right one,” the old one beamed. “Yes, right you are. It is a gradual remembering, and we help you with this, and that is most of it, but it is not all of it.”

The lighthouses saw that dawn was moments away, the sky was about to burst with pink and purple and gold. In the tension within that moment, when night becomes something else, something else again, in that moment, they looked at each other. They saw each other. And they knew each other. They saw they were family, and this was a gift, this visit, which could never be forgotten.

“I’ve come to remind you that yours is not to struggle against the storms, or worry over them, or anticipate them, or think any thought at all about them, ever again. Yours is to know of your light, your service, and your family. Yours is to come join us, all of us.

Those who did not speak to you before, this is because that was the agreement, you all made it, and now you have broken it. It is just a matter of easing into it. You can do all your traveling again, but you will never be so disconnected from your structure. Imagine your flying, and being able to also be within your structure, feeling the heat of that bulb of yours, smelling the earth, knowing you are helping, and seeing the outcomes of others journeys. Imagine.

Imagine never being lonely again. You really don’t need to, and that is what the old ones are doing, going around and reminding our young friends, you are not alone, never have been, and we are so very proud of your beautiful work.

We have a message. We are telling all of you that this is the time of discovery, and of friendships, and of feeling a connection you’ve never known before. You will not feel alone again, because you will know that it is a false understanding. It is a misunderstanding, and that is all, to think you are out here, on this beautiful cliff, all on your own.”

“So, you will be helping me? How? When?” the little lighthouse asked.

“Do you see a physical structure in front of you? Honestly, do you? Have the construction men come and erected me next to you? No. We are connected by something far more durable than stone and tree. We are connected, as a family of purpose, each to the other, and at no time are you ever alone. You think on me, and I will be there. You may not see me quite as brilliantly as you do right now, but I am really focusing, and this is special, you see.”

“I am at your service,” the ancient one declared, and I am here to help you in any way you see fit. Do not forget about dream time, though, my friend. Do not forget there might be things you do not know about, yes?”

The little lighthouse thought about that and did not like the idea of being in the dark. It worked up its courage and said just that, tot he old one before it.

The old one was ready to finish, and the young one felt it. It did not want the connection to break. There was, to be honest, a little moment of panic, for our little friend.

“Do not fear, my great and true friend,” the old lighthouse said. “There is a bit more you must know before I can depart, this first time.

I want you to understand something as I leave, I want you to think on this in my seeming absence, and I really do want you to look forward to our discussions about this, and many other things, yes? in the times to come.

I did not tell you at first, but need to tell you now, it is something that all of we elders are passing on to our youth.

You understand that yours is to weather storms. The reasons for this are deep and beautiful, and we, each of us, wish you to honor just what it is you do. It goes unseen by you, most of the time, and we have been urged to remind you to spend just a little bit of your time thinking on you, on your light, on just what it is that you do. This is a good and right practice, one that will strengthen your light. You’ll be very surprised.

You remember, in your travels, how some lights were dimmer than others, yes? This is a deep and complex riddle, but one reason for this is often that the lighthouse does not even realize that it is a lighthouse! Imagine that! Imagine that!”

The ancient one laughed so hard that it began to cough, sputter, and needed a moment to compose itself, from all its mirth.

“Imagine a lighthouse unaware of what it is! Do you know how to solve this problem?” The ancient one asked then.

Our little friend had no answer. It seemed an unsolvable problem.

“Have you already forgotten, have you failed to bring it inside yourself, little one, that we share the same light?

Some do not wish to burn bright. Some do not know how. But most do not fully appreciate their beauty and their purpose. And that is all.

And when you young ones, you travelers, you clever ones, as you come to see this, then your light burns brighter, and, this is our goal, to make sure that there are enough of us burning bright, then all of our family can burn brighter. It is a collective thing, you see, a group endeavor.”

And with that, the ancient one seemed to tire. The little lighthouse wished to ease the old one, comfort it in some way, so it said, “I love you. Thank you.”

And with that, something good and strong and hopeful happened. The little lighthouse could feel it, and the old one could too. There was a surge, there was a push of light that our little friend had never felt before.

It felt good.

The little lighthouse smiled then, and could feel its friend the sun warm its hat, and match its light.

The ancient one and the young one sat together on that lonely cliff, and for a time, they knew, they felt, and they cherished that they were together, thinking thoughts which felt smooth and clear, thoughts each knew, sitting there together, these were moments that would come to them during their next storm, when the sea was black and the cries around them were especially pitiful. This moment, they would remember and cherish it.

It was the first time the young one knew it was not alone. It understood in a real way, even though it was talking to an apparition, it knew that there was nothing this old friend told it that was not true, somewhere down deep, in a true and pure place the lighthouse had always visited, and always longed for.

They say until mid-day. It just did not feel right to part until the sun was warm and there were children frolicking among the pumpkin patch the little lighthouse’s keepers loved.

And then, while the sky was cold and the sun was hot and the two lighthouses felt full and complete and satisfied, the ancient one said its goodbyes, and went where it very much enjoyed spending time, there on its own hill, overlooking a vast sea, ready to shine its light, smiling while it did it.

Deeply Awake: Revealing What Seems Self Evident, After A Massive Shift By Kathy VIk

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A revealing little video, is what I am giving to you today. I riff, for the most part, covering relationships, daily life, what the future holds, with this new energy.

Some new info regarding the news alert given 9-22, which I will post on my website, if and when I can locate it again. It is a warning, I guess, but  I then, go into what is REAL about ascension, and then, channeling, without accent starts. That was fun.

I hope viewers enjoy my relaxed tone, revealing what seems to be obvious now, but which might not be self-evident to all.

It gives Star People info, and discusses wave theory, among other ascension details.







As referenced 🙂


Deeply Awake: A Gift Of Full Awareness During The Energy of 9-23 By Kathy Vik

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An amazing video which reveals the punch line of this work, of the lifetime, of the 5 years of writing.

There is so much more to this, but a video which captures truth telling to soul is a great way to summarize a whole heck of a lot.

Enjoy and peace to you.






Deeply Awake: As We Enter The Time Of Our Most Sacred Confinement by Kathy Vik

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Revelation 12:12King James Version (KJV)

12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.



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A potent and beautiful long talk on the energies surrounding this time, what the 23rd of September means to me as an ascensionist, and where this goes, all paths leading to home, the Winter Solstice, 2017.

It is deep, redeeming, uplifting and healing. Enjoy listening, if you are into that kind of thing. ❤







Just for fun, here is the entire chapter being talked about currently:


Revelation 12King James Version (KJV)

12 And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars:

And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered.

And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.

And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.

And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days.

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.

13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.

14 And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent.

15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Deeply Awake MASTERS AMONG US, Vol. 2: Kathy Vik Honors An Ascension Activation

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Although a part of me feels like it may appear somewhat self-indulgent to do a Masters Among Us on my process, but, because the effects have been so complete, obvious, hauntingly familiar yet better than anticipated, because of all of that, and how it came to pass, and how that whole thing was captured… well, it is for those reasons I give this to you titled as it is.

You can agree or disagree, but, I recognize these times of internal energetic shift. This time has been so prolonged, so integrated within physical phenomena, and so benevolent, I figured it was time to talk, to once again report, to just sort of stand gawking at it, and out of habit, and a love of my own voice, I’m describing as it goes.

There is an audio for this as well, and I will include this in the comments section of my YouTube offering. The video is an attempt to set-up, describe, and then report consequences of this period of time, during the solar flaring… it lined up perfectly, and it was all a beautifully orchestrated, delivered and understood activation.

The audio captures the event in the moment, immediately after having been this much larger “thing. All in the cab of my car, on the side of a busy road. It is incredibly activating, in that it contains very pure energy. I say that knowing that those who need it, will listen, and those who don’t won’t. No worries, with this information, ever.

You never know who that random judgmental or critical or just lazy “hey, you’re not following the rules” thought you have might be sent to someone having such a moment, parked on the side of the road. Now is the time to think kind thoughts about each other, encouraging, brave, kind thoughts. It matters. We are all entertaining angels unawares.






The SoundCloud audio. Please note that my voice is super loud in this one, so turning down the volume before you start might make you less annoyed. Just wanted to say.