Deeply Awake — Thoughts Before An Intentional Shift In Physical Reality By Kathy Vik 3-7-18

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An honest, fun and multidimensional talk on what is at hand for me.

In the physical, I am getting a hip replacement tomorrow, so this stands as my final thoughts before going through an event that has meanings not only in the day-to-day, but spiritually and soulically.

I hope you enjoy this perspective. I do talk about an event that occurred in the spring of 2016, an activation which my team refers to as “the Merkabah is set.” They haven’t elaborated on that, though I have been receiving more and more information about that event.

This mystical event is discussed because it is, for some reason, front and center these days, and so I am including it in my thoughts, my meditations on health, healing, illness, wellness, spiritual evolution and intentional shifting of physical reality.






As referenced, a really fun and coherently presented hit of highly esoteric and TOTALLY DO-ABLE almost-magical-but-based-in-high-physics stuff, the glittery  wonderful Ms. Alison Coe:


Deeply Awake: Another Level of… Whatever By Kathy Vik 2-13-18


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A bare-bones talk for those who are on the ascension path, for your enjoyment and consideration. I was urged to talk about many, many aspects of this thing our community keeps talking about, “The Event.”

In this multidimensional eclipse gateway, I thought it necessary, somehow, to talk about esoterics, energetics, prophecies and premonitions, many of them revolving around about being flooded with light, or…  whatever.

This is a personal, quantum reality for each, and this is an enjoyable recording for those desiring many observations and interpretations of the energy bombarding us, and that which is to come, from the vantage point of this intrepid spiritual reporter known as Deeply Awake.





Deeply Awake — Daily Life As a Multidimensional Being, or, Applying Ascended Reality To Daily Life 2-4-18 By Kathy Vik

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Holy smokes.

This is a vital recording, with a HUGE anomaly late in the recording, adding emphasis when relaying a soul confirmation … INCREDIBLE!

This is a FULL ON esoteric recording, for the hardcore among us, who need to know what it is like to apply these principles and to see them pay off in daily life.

That’s sort of the point, of going through this process in public. There had to be an end-point, I would think. There’ll come a day when things make a lot more sense, and then, it’ll be an obligation, and a joy, to just describe the view.

This is one such love letter, from a ledge that continues to blink on and off, literally (!!!!!), as I transmit this appreciation, and joy, and hope, and tips, and descriptions right from my being, to you.

Namaste, my brother, my sister.





As referenced:

Deeply Awake: What It’s Like To Be Inside A Mantle By Kathy Vik 2-2-18

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A free=flowing talk about a wide range of topics essential to the internal ascension process, as I have been experiencing it.

Lately, the issue of narratives has presented itself, resolving into a stronger and stronger awareness of vastness, in real time, allowing each their own experience, even if it is at odds with me.

Astrology is part of this offering, but it has come alive for me, and I’d like to demonstrate how that’s done. A meek offering, but astrology helps me understand root causes, and to not take it all that seriously.

A fascinating talk which I hope comforts people and allows them to go further still, in their internal and eternal adventures.





This was the background music:


Deeply Awake (With CHANNEL) — Focus 2-11-14 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake (With CHANNEL) — Focus 2-11-14 By Kathy Vik

I have been noticing many changes, all of them resulting in a softness of character. I find a softness is lent to my days, to the things I encounter, the situations, the demands and challenges, all of it has become gentler, less painful, more do-able, here lately.

And in the past, I have then taken to the pen in an effort to hold, with razor sharp focus, the changes such as these which have come to me, just as I sit here today, and I have dissected the feeling of calm and peace, to see how I can get there and just stay there, that’s been a big part of this, just to figure out, when things go all warm and swimmy, just how it happened, and how it feels to inhabit such a place, to describe it honestly and clearly, so that I might be able to attain the feeling again.

This is what has changed the most for me, and I name this essay “Focus,” because there is a certain degree of focus required, but it really is a misnomer, because what I notice the very most these days is how I can maintain such a broad focus, such a big perspective, while doing the mundane, the basics, even the grotesque and absurd, when called for.

I think this is the biggest miracle of all, how this good feeling, this balanced-ness, is sustained now. This is the miracle, in my opinion.

I thought about it on the way home from work yesterday, on my lusciously long drive home. By now you know I am a straight-on channel in my car. They know they can talk to me, I now I can listen, and so, oh! The conversations, the lessons, the information, it is just as pure as it is those first few minutes of waking up from a good, complex sleep.

On the drive, it occurred to me that those two years of training I received from The Teachers, getting in metaphor and prophesy and hardcore can’t-be-denied-can’t-be-explained information, way back when, twenty years ago, it was my first confirmation of that which I hold.

I thought, as I headed south, on my years with my personal trainer, The Teachers, in the early nineties. I had it good, back then. Things were poetic, the synchronicity really full on, and it was hard work, but it was amazing.

During that time, those two years, specifically, was when I was working with my real-life mentor, cementing the teachings, seeing them glitter and glow in lesson, for myself and for others. A glorious time. Lessons so profound, they are now up for review, and for accepting as qualities I can now hold and sustain, just hour to hour, day to day. Phenomenal, really.

But it never has been so sustained, so sturdy, as now. I went through periods of great darkness, just cripplingly awful times, really. Black, sad times, lonely times, not all of it was fun, or easy, and none of it was meaningless, not one jot of suffering out of place, all of it just fine, in retrospect, but it was how the good feelings would poke through and sometimes stay for awhile, sometimes just burst and flame out, leaving me in darkness again, that’s how this has been for me, in a nutshell, when in comes to figuring out how things work, who I am and why I am here.

And I think that it was a very good device, a lovely one, because it was as if a tone is struck when a new, profoundly benevolent event takes place, and a healing occurs, someone is forgiven, someone is let off the hook, either you or someone else, and oh!

How wonderful this feels!

A moment such as this, whether sustained or not, is one of purity and levity and creativity, of freedom and permission and acceptance. Having had this in such a concentrated form helped me to remember that this is true north, for me, and now, after so many years of struggle to attain it again, here it is again, feeling so in the flow that everything just makes sense, finally, once and for all. Surprising, but understandable, let’s just say.

The thing is, there was much that was inappropriate for me to have, back then. The energy was the swallowing kind, the defeating kind, and it was really pretty hard to shine quite so free and clear, back then.

It was not time, others were not ready, I was not ready. And I know I am not, now, speaking just for myself. I think there are a bunch of us, millions of us, beginning to feel a change, an easing, a welcoming, that we had long abandoned, refusing to carry it from day to day, left in a corner to fend for itself, a hope for a better day, a better way, one when it’s not just YOU being open, being happy, being on purpose, but EVERYONE starts to feel it.

This is the change, I think, and I think it is perfectly acceptable to admit that this is indeed a social experiment, a group experiment, and what we do, physically, and what we say and imply, how we behave, this matters. For a long time, it was hard to hold full-on multidimensionality, it was hard to do.

By special agreement, some did, and were able to just sustain it. The masters, I am referring to, but there are many of them. So many yogis, all around the world, highly evolved ones, and the autistic children, now carrying it as well. I am just sure there is some mathematical, mystical plan somewhere which has formulas with how much light needs to be held where, and, for balance and appropriateness, there must (during the darker days) be a few highly expanded souls walking the planet at any given time, seeds of reality walking around, but undercover, I think, and this is changing now.

The energy is sweeter, more conducive, more forgiving, leaning toward the loving ones, like never before. Pulling us into mastery, instead of us sleuthing it out.

And so, I thought on the way home, gee, I had a hit of it, and considering the energetics, the harmonics, I can see it was a gift, it was the future poking through, and it was a very beautiful gift I agreed to accept, once physical.

And then came the eye of the needle, the culling of a lifetime, a release of karma which went on for months, actively. There were months of taking on Seth, his energy, helping me to break down the very simple, close to the bone constructs that had to come down. All of it, it all came down.

And now, I think I see that there is an amplification of this sentinel energy, the energy I had with The Teachers, and have had with others full of love and light, here to help and soothe and protect me, one this walk. It’s the same relationship I now enjoy with Kryon.

Almost like waves, amplitudes of cosmic awareness got huge, then got tiny, but they came in bursts, during this lifetime, along this wave of amplitude. And now, I feel like we have come through, to the other side of something.

It is all very odd, describing things like this, but I could see it, driving, feel it, and I feel it and see it even more strongly now.

I can see patterns, now, I can feel them, intuit them, there are graphs floating in front of me showing me the spiritual progression in purely energetic terms, and it’s quite fascinating, and nigh on impossible to explain with words. I’d need a 3d graph of some sort. Darn it.

I am so grateful to be able to appreciate things in terms of harmonics, energetics, how things feel. But for those who have what I have, you know it is not any of those things. It is a body/soul/being knowing. It is the core, living in the core.

I see now that my core, this being of light, this representative, as are you, of Source, of All That Is, it has never changed, has always been shining so strong, so pure, so benevolent, and it has been me, my thought patterns and expectations, conditioning and training, which have either obscured and made difficult the view, often completely obscuring it.

It has been my willingness and intent and ability to touch and love that which is me, the bigger me, that is what has been going on. My soul, my core, it is magnificently whole and complete and limitless and eternal, endless in its knowledge and love, generosity and humor, wisdom and soul love, eye to eye “I love you, I know you, I am you” sort of love, it has always been there, hanging out, leading me.

It’s what took me by the hand during my times of training, and it’s what lurked, quiet by agreement, during the times when everything got deconstructed, all attachments removed, all expectations examined, everything up for alignment.

I thought, driving, that the whole point is to keep spending as much time happy, truly balanced and happy, as I can, to seek out the happy beliefs, the happy explanations, the ones that are more benevolent, not for any other reason than it feels better.

I’m talking about the times of a full soul-belly joy, of just being sated, in peace, and the longer I am there, the longer I am there. And here I am, I thought, driving into my basement garage, here I am, believing it all, now, no longer picking fights with it or telling it it’s not even real.

Here I am, no longer making inner apologies for loving as I do, seeing and hearing and expressing as I do. Something has changed, and there is a baseline of gratitude within me that I have never really felt before. With gratitude, there is balance.

The stories all turn benevolent and sweet. Some are poignant, some are tinged with darkness, still, for some, for many, really, but, here I am, knowing in my heart something that people are just now picking up on, that we love each other, and each of us deserve a lot better than we have been giving each other.

Here I am feeling really ok with not being asked about all the secrets I keep about the universe, just really ok with looking normal and boring, but being a undercover angel, a lover, someone who has remembered that we all love each other, suddenly more than willing to just show it, rather than think on it, coming from a place of knowing that it really matters not what anyone else believes about anything. Realizing everyone is in charge of their own experience. Knowing this is one thing. Trying to stay at a higher vibration, that was the tricky part up until recently.

That’s the oddest, and nicest, part about all of this. About 25 years ago, I crammed a piece of paper with every bit of truth I had stumbled onto thus far, all about the intactness of myself, the meaning of life as I saw it, the things I held as my highest ideals, brotherhood and kindness, permission and acceptance, giving credit and love, these things I would read on my smoke breaks, and it was like a slap in the face, coming from my cubicle or nursing unit, out to the curb, to smoke and read, a few times a day. It helped me to remember.

I would promptly forget. I would have to refer to my paper. It was like chipping away at a big, hard lump of granite. In between, it was still a scared, cold, lonely bulk of granite. It had to be chipped away at, I guess, with the truth. At least for me.

It is this remembering which has truly changed in amplitude and frequency. It’s like there used to be weak little bursts of higher truth that would come through, and my whole being would ease, but then, life would come knocking, and I got engulfed, and I would forget.

I now work in a job which is piercingly linear. It is task oriented, multi-tasking all day, juggling, always juggling. And yet, I find that my focus is no longer on the job, per se. I have confidence I am competent, which in itself deserves a national holiday, but more, I feel as if my eyes, my gaze, has lifted, elevated, and I can see more. And as a result,, I am smiling, all the time, like a dope, sometimes. A lot of the time, actually.

It’s as if I spent the first part of my life only being able to maintain one focus at a time. Either I could be in meditation or I could be hanging IV’s. I could be in bliss, touching the face of god, or I could be cleaning the house, but they seemed to be exclusive states.

What I am finding is maybe a blending, but that my gaze is now ahead of me, somehow, but I have 360 vision, and I can see past, present future, behind, here and ahead of me, and the feelings I get with this change of focus are steadying. Thoughts of peace, of benevolence, of compassion, toward others.

I have found that, although I really don’t even want them to, around me, people act very kind, now. I am finding I have an effect, a good effect, on others. I hear things that strike me as worth remembering, the angry one who, now, around me, says things like, “…but, maybe there’s another side to the story,” when bitching about person X, Y and Z.

It’s nice to see, because I really really don’t like when people bad mouth others and spin in rumor and drama. Ick. I don’t engage, say something postive, and bam! The feeling has changed, and that behavior stops. It’s nice. It’s a relief, to be honest with you. I see that people are sort of voluntarily abdicating those habits around me, and I like it.

I didn’t understand that the view would be an integrated one. I thought that if I got clearer, I would see with Matrix eyes, and the physical would sort of be the irrelevance I always suspected it was. I am surprised to learn that this is untrue.

I am finding that the fun of this is in engaging in life in a whole new way, seeing with my soul’s eyes, hearing and obeying my soul’s voice, letting synchronicity guide me, allowing ease and good feelings to show me the next step. I still see through these physical eyes, and have a fleshy vehicle, but it is sanctified, it is beautiful, even when it is in pain or is tired.

I see that the focus is a melded one, for me, a blended one, and each day has become a gift, and I really really do mean this literally. I have not had a really bad day in a long time. No black depressions, no crying for the world, none of the emotional purging and walking in deep reeds that I used to have to do. Things have gotten clearer. The focus has shifted.

I want to tell you of a meditation I had before sleep two nights ago. It was so beautiful, and I hope I do it justice here. It comes back to me in waves now, and I find much peace in being able to ride it, now, anytime, while passing pills, while driving, while writing to you, my dear friend, my loved one, my friend. “You are this. You are this core. Remember how to approach things, what the outside is, and what you are,” this is what comes through in waves now.

But before I do that, I need to close up a loop. And then, I think I would like to close by channeling.

The thing is, this is very individual, it is personal, and it is done for self, by self, with help, lots and lots of miraculous help. But I am seeing the lights go on for a lot of people around me. It seems that people all over have begun to lighten, and of course, there are those who are reacting in ways that are not so healthy, but the difference between the choice of love and anything else, it is so much clearer now, I think, at least for me. And so, as individual awakening is, it is a universal ideal.

I believe as Kryon has taught. It is the ones who have suffered things of which they cannot, will not speak, we are the ones who have, with diligence and care and determination, we have mined ourselves, we have healed, and we see love in our accusers, our abusers.

Once this has occurred, I think the person’s whole being sings a different note, a deep earth bass note, a clear tone of having overcome the worst, having loved it all back to center.

We change the grid, the ones who have done the work, right where we walk, we change people, their magnetics, their awareness. Lightbearers. Lighthouses. And the light is being seen. We are all seeing each other better now.

And so, this is the closing of the circle, that this is a group adventure, and what we say and what we do matters, it really does. Our words are uttered by gods, and the ones who are aware of this are finding their tongues are stilled now, where once they used to wag. We have figured out that this moment, the one you are fully focused within, it is this awareness which is the fulcrum of existence.

What we say and do are propagated from what we think of ourselves, and what we expect of life, and others, that is a point of power. How we think, what we feel, what we assume is true and false, these can and do change, in this process. There is less effort, but more effect, these days.

And I think everyone is getting it. And as I have been taught, and as it makes sense to me, as borne out with what I see happening around me, there are those who have figured out how to access that which makes them, and those who have not, yet.

And maybe now, it will be that it’s the refusal to love that will fade out of fashion. Yesterday, while working, again and again, I had the thought, “I’ve figured out a central truth, and I know something these folks have forgotten: we love each other, so so so much, we love each other, we are desperately, madly, selflessly in love with each other, and we are family. I just know something they have forgotten.” A flush of goodwill would come, and I would feel better.

I stayed in that state while juggling all that a nurse must juggle, pleasing, always pleasing the other, bending, always bending, but, yesterday, my energy ran true and strong, straight and pure, white and gentle, from rising to retiring once again to the arms of sleep.

The meditation came the night before that shift.

I saw, felt, a huge silver lotus spinning in my chest, and I heard many things. I’m not exactly sure how this will go, because some of it was what I was told. I’ll do my best.

I understood that the lotus is what I can see. Then I saw that it had a long, dangly, core root, and then just tons of filamenty things that did the water thing. And then, I followed the root to earth, the matrix of earth. I suddenly could feel everything, the worms, the little bugs, the pebbles, the loam. I was all of it, was participating and observing and physically engaged all at once.

I could smell the musk of earth, and it was so black, but everything was lit up because I could feel everything. It was wonderful. Everything was mutual, cooperative, but more, it was intuitively linked, everything was individual but everything was working together, entangled, one.

I loved it, and did not want to leave. I was told, this is your core. This is your soul. It is the core, that which is in harmony, solid, true, and yet made out of uncountable bits of consciousness, all valid, all seeking their own truth, in their own way. This is core, the soul, the big soul, all you have been, all you will be, in totality. And now, look at the lotus.

I saw it there, on the top of a pond, pink and white and iridescent, and huge. I saw patterns in the sky, saw the geometry of it all, and everything was connected, here, but everything was projection and it was a little overwhelming, in a way. Everyone has thoughts about things up here. See the bloom, I was told.

It has been described in countless texts, it has been mythologized, it has been sung about and drawn, revered, even worshiped. So many meanings placed upon this dear bloom. All meaningful, but all ethereal, do you see?

Everything is projection, thought, construct, and it is dizzying in complexity, and it is engaging, so much so, that it is easy, up here, to forget the earth from which the lotus blooms.

And so, once again,I dove in, thankfully, back into the deep black soil, and I decided it would be fun to fly through the earth, so I did that. I could feel when the pebbles in the soil whizzed through me. It felt good to be so free, so involved, so entangled and yet observing it all. I loved it.

I visited my lotus, then, again, and I remembered then what I saw on Christmas Eve of last year. I saw how everything in physical reality is so consuming, and it’s so easy for the physical mind to get tricked into thinking the projections are real, that what is immediately before someone, is the only reality, when really it is an impression, your own impression, of the object or event, and hence, somewhat of an illusion. It is appropriate to be engaged in it, but see it for what it is.

Much like that visual full-on experience, this meditation got me feeling a freedom and happiness connecting and becoming one with the soil, the earth, and, eventually, to that one skinny, sturdy, miraculous root. It is a physical experience, and yet, so much of it is construct, easily pliable, changeable, each lotus its own cosmos, taking inside it and emanating its own understanding of itself.

I think I have had times within the root system, and times when I was all flower, but now, I like having been shown this. It is not so much a split as a cooperative system, lotus and soil, each supporting the other, one without the other rendering each incomplete.

And so, I will end by channeling briefly. I have been feeling them for a while now, and they have wanted to come a few times the last few days, but I have been caught up tending to lotus land.


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We bid you a good day, we give our greetings and tell you of the joy that is known when union can occur, and that is the wish of many, the encoded whisper many are fine-tuned to hear in the wind of change blowing sweetly upon each of you now.

We tell you to things which have come to pass, but also of those things for which anticipation is already being felt, if not languaged, not quite yet, but many feel it, and are celebrating it in reverence, all in solitary reverence.

Many have found the ease, or tendrils of it, prayed for by all, this wish for ease, knowing that which is easy is that which is planned and, deciding moment to moment, using your selves as the guides you are, you are making decisions which are in effect doing what you know you are here to do, dear ones.

You are planting the seeds of tolerance, many of you. Tolerance is a meaningless concept without an oppositional force, do you see?

Tolerance is a concept which allows for all, every one, to have their own perspective, and to be sovereign within one’s own, allowing each one their freedom, of choice, of being, of flavor, if you will, the themes written by them, for their own instruction, this is a benevolent way to approach those around you. This is what many have striven for, it is the life of your masters in action, is it not?

We ask you what we asked the channel last night, and now she sees, thankfully, there is a split, there is instruction, we are LOUDER, after all, the prayers are coming true, and the split is revealed. She asked us to be louder, and in so doing we comply, and she sees how this works, now. We mention it for your own edification only.

We asked her, has it not been the point of all of this to be in deep well-being, in bliss, samadhi, it is called many things, while doing all the tasks you deem necessary, in lesson or as an assistance player? Hasn’t that been the idea?

And so, now you are so surprised when you have such a day. Well, we tell you, these are the dreams which are prone to coming true, because they are held with a steady and true heart. Have you not said that your goal was to be a walking master, in the middle of whatever crisis comes your way?

The cajoling was a jarring sort of event for the writer, you see, for it was a foreign thought, and we ask all of you to stay aware of those thoughts, those moments, when something comes to you that may be unrelated to the task at hand, or might be in a completely different light than what a situation is currently being seen in.

Do you understand, these thoughts can come in a flash, but they are weighty, they have substance, our way of saying these thoughts are loaded with information, and your higher functions are beginning to come on-line, so to speak.

Many of you are beginning to see a balanced way to approach the world, and this is what the incarnation has, up to this point, been about. Tending to your own fields, lying fallow at times, having good, and disappointing, crops, being at the mercy of the weather, the elements, other people’s decisions.

This is what has changed for many. The fields are now richly aerated, and they are under benevolent protection, so to speak, now, and times are friendlier. The soil is hungry for the seeds you provide, with everything you are, without effort, without worry, now, and without fear.

These crops will come in sturdy and at such sizes! Such abundance! You will be amazed!

And so, we ask you to look up, from tending the fields, look up and see us there, suspended above you, making forms in the sky, warming your skin, and you will now be able, while turning back to the soil and the seeds you so love, you will, even with your hat on and your back bent, you feel us now, the sun, the breeze, the support of your mother, and you understand you too are suspended, here, doing meaningful things which may at times be quite detailed and even engrossing, but, you, our dear farmers, you now are ever aware of the bigger picture, and it is this we are celebrating.

Many are seeing that they are more powerful than they had imagined, and some are finding they have learned well the mechanics of manifesting in integrity, taking to heart the fundamental truth of intent, and the power of thought, word and deed.

We urge all to practice this, to be mindful of speech, tone, and countenance. Assist others with their burdens now, now that you understand there is no such thing, it is easy for you now, and we are glad of this shift, one which will improve for many.

We wish to remind you of something we have been saying to you as a group for quite some time, and this is to expect the unexpected. We would love to discuss the changes afoot, but we will leave you to intuit them.

We work in the emotional and psychological realms, which of course impact world events, but we see these greater agreement fields as altered, altering, sweetening, and this is due, dear ones, to your work, your diligence, your love for humanity, and your stubborn belief in yourselves. It is from the energetics that events flow,

We leave prognosticating to those with more expertise in these matters, and tell you instead to expect the unexpected. Allow that which is unexpected come forth, and this implies, dear ones, that saying yes is now in order? Have you not earned the right to give yourself over to your own good judgment, your discernment? As a master, can you do anything less, ask anything less than this from yourself?

Expecting the unexpected, and knowing it will be, can be nothing but, benevolence itself, does this not alter your countenance? Understanding, finally, that you are fulfilling your role perfectly, you are a master walking this earth, and you are doing so every day, and, this, loved one, is simply claiming your birthright.

Each have this as their own birthright, you know this is so, and so, when more are willing to embrace the good in themselves, and in those around them, can you imagine what can be done, what changes can be made?

This is the season for seed planting, and we ask you to remember the season, remember the fashion in which crops grow, allow the linear its magnificent place, allow things to unfold, and hold no fear, love what comes to you, and know all is well, balanced, in harmony.

Remember the admonition we have always uttered: You will be the one that others seek, their lighthouse, and they seek you energetically, some do so physically, of course, and this metaphor may now be expanded, because each of you, as lighthouses, are coming to understand that you are all connected, in real time, in a physical way, with each other. Lighthouses each, no longer alone, communicating with your source of light, which is the same light each house projects, emanates, do you see?

And so, the admonition is a simple one.

Not everyone carries this light themselves yet.

You, as a lighthouse, you know, that the ones who are dim are lighthouses just like you, just like you in every way, with the same abilities, but here you are, shining for them, and this is the way of it now. It implies, does it not, that there is still darkness? That there are fields not yet even budding with life, though they teem with it, underneath?

Of course it does, and it is silly to deny the set up, the duality, the polarities, this is a blindness which dims one’s light. Seeing it all, light and dark, and shining light, a light whose origins are unlanguagable, this is what leads the others to peace, at least in your presence, at least for that moment.

We tell you, in parting, these acts of kindness, these moments of kindness you create for others and for yourselves, these are the moments which connect your consciousness, as a human being, with the light pouring out of your eyes. Allow each their struggles and give to others your undying conviction that they are worthwhile human beings, that they are guiltless, blameless, free, and beautiful.

Give to others this light, give to others your high regard, give to others your mindfulness and your time, in balance, remembering, always, the sun and the sky and the earth support you.

Whether you fancy yourself a farmer, a lighthouse, a metaphor merely allows that which speaks to your indefinably brilliant core essence, your spark of divinity, your portal home, to sing while living within the soft machine we ask you to love like no other, loving and minding to others as you do your selves, now.

We leave you in peace, and utter radiance, we see you glowing in love and light, and we are forever honored in this exchange.

Deeply Awake — Manifestation Memo 1-29-14 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake — Manifestation Memo 1-29-14 By Kathy Vik

Author’s note 1-29-14: I was going to call this thing “Manifestation Manifesto,” but that seemed a little high-and-mighty. Just did the spell check… hope it doesn’t suck.

This has been an odd time for me. I feel like I’m finally off the platform, and glad of it, thinking back on my months waiting on that platform, thinking on how exquisitely painful it was at the time, but now, looking on it from this new side, it was just a platform, it was just waiting,and it’s hard to know why I got my undies in a bunch so much, about all of it, the waiting, the platform, wondering what comes next, while all the while knowing.

So now, I feel like I am in a train car, but the train isn’t moving yet. I know that sometimes you can be moving, while on a train, but have the feeling of steadiness, so I look out the window from time to time, and there’s the platform, empty now, clean, like it was never used.

In this scene, I waited with some people, but through all the months of waiting, we only struck up small conversations. Enough for me to know we were all pretty much doing the same thing, but no real depth.

And now, on this train, in this car, I don’t see any of those folks. I am alone in this car. Early on, I had a vision of being on a train, and I’m in a car where everyone speaks a foreign language. And I have some choices. Be perpetually mad that no one understands me, that’s one choice. Another would be to learn their language. Another would be to come up with a new language when we are together. It was all metaphor for fitting in, for figuring out a way to travel when I can see I can’t be understood, through no fault of anyone’s.

You see, I have had a chance to reminisce recently. It was two years ago on the 25th that I walked away from an insanely lucrative job, having found myself yet again with a target on my back.

In two years’ time, I found myself thinking, on my anniversary. Two years. What is different for me than two years ago?

Well, I guess what I am noticing the most right now is what came up in that train imagery. I realized in the last few days that the very biggest change has been one of being able to like people more.

I mean, it boils down to very few things, in the end. I have realized, at work, recently, that I was, for the most part, a highly judgmental and angry person. No one ever satisfied me, not intellectually, not emotionally, not soulically, and rarely socially. And when I looked into people’s eyes, what I saw was often a threat, or a cry, or a scream, but it was rarely someone who loved freely, who was peering at me.

And I found it curious, that I could put up with so much, I just let people do what they are going to do, really, that, in the end, toward the end of it all, before the lights came up, I had gotten to the point where I really found very little good in anyone around me. I told myself awful things about people, and while I’m sure they might have been accurate, from time to time, that’s really not the point.

I looked upon everything with unloving eyes. I had been hurt. I was tired. I was disappointed, so very disappointed, and had become, I think, a bit of a pessimistic misanthrope.

So the biggest change, for me, the thing that just fires me up and makes me happiest, is that I can now look on anyone, and I mean anyone, and find their creator. I can see their frailties, the things they are most afraid of, and I can feel their integrity, somehow, and I feel awe, real awe, for people, anymore.

Now, I used to feel this, I am sure, but I think we are conditioned to think the only appropriate time and place to feel this is with a lover, privately, this sort of intimacy, but, no, I feel a bond with the people I have met, even those who I may never see again.

I kept seeing, again and again, at work, how everything can look miniscule, or threatening, or innocent, and it’s really all just a matter of perspective. I enjoyed watching this, in many different settings, this theme of perspective, play out.

I saw it being done by folks who would never, probably, give a thought to these esoterics which fascinate me, but they are playing out the themes of their lives, the themes of their hearts, their imaginings of who they are in this moment.

Now, these are deep thoughts to have, I guess, while passing pills, or eating boiled-til-it’s-mushy zucchini, but they were comforting, these thoughts. They helped me to remember that everyone who approached me, everyone I approached, was somebody’s loved one, someone’s kid, someone’s mate, someone’s parent.

It was fun. It made everything breathe easier. There was humor, there was a lot of walking around letting people off their hooks, the hooks of worry and anxiety, “There’s nothing here to be upset about. Nothing here to get angry about. Everything’s fixable. No one is trying to do the job wrong. Let’s figure this out.” Lots of that.

So, the biggest change, I would say, is this interpersonal one, the one which allows me to see people not as the enemy, but as friend. That really does not mean I am some Pollyanna fruitcake out in la-la land, unable to focus.


Quite the opposite.

I am a quick study, highly intuitive, focused, driven, as task-oriented as you please, the one so many delegate to since they know I’ll take it seriously, and then they take all the credit. That happens to me a lot. Happened last time I worked. But really, here’s the thing. I’ve found most bosses delegate and refuse to get their hands dirty because they are afraid of it, because it turns out, they are just not that good at it.

And that fear of doing it wrong, or badly, stops a lot of people, it stops managers from diving in. They don’t want anyone to see they might not be up to scratch. And, really, that’s ok. I see it as a sign of weakness and cowardice, but that tells me this is someone who feels insecure, someone who has little confidence, probably easily bullied, someone with a temper, a sad=sack, a victim, and who knows better than me what it feels like to be bullied. I know all about it.

So I tried to show her ways she can stand up to her bullies, as the day progressed, did that too. I just saw things differently, and even when I was rightfully madder than a wet hen, some cool, calm voice came and talked me out of my crazy.

Some cool, calm voice explained to me that here I am, already being leaned on. See this. Pay attention. Look at the dynamics, look at this group. See what is really going on, and be people’s friend. See people as trying to feel intact, prone to feeling picked on. Try that. And then the calm would come, and the smile too, and I felt so much better, so much brighter.

The past two years have taught me my own energetic signature, as promised, it was delivered, and it was no small task. I had a lot to overcome, psyche-wise, but who of us hasn’t? When you go around questioning things, feeling nit right, and for awhile, for me, all I did was feel angry, well, anymore, I give the more temper=prone among us a lot more empathy, and have stopped painting them as the devil out to rock my boat. I remember being that mad. I still get that mad sometimes, but never for long. The voices come to me now, and they soothe me, and put me straight, now.

I see the last two years as a block, you see, and that is I guess why I used the platform metaphor. I feel like I have accomplished my job, these last two years, done the waking up, the living by the skin of my teeth, hippie thing, writing, working whenever, just letting go, knowing something good is waiting for me on the other side of whatever the hell this turns out to be.

And now, whatever the hell that was has changed, I feel like I’ve been spat out of one of those car washes, all the strum und drang appears to be over, and I am clean, clean, clean. I’m thinking, to always tilt in the direction of benevolence, that whatever is in front of me is a benevolent thing, that helps.

And so, I want to talk about The Secret, and some of what is channeled by people, and what a lot of new age people earn dividends on teaching, this concept of manifestation, getting what you want, all that crap.

I think we have the manifestation thing all wrong, as a group. There’s this idea that if you visualize it, and then put up posters or whatever, that it’ll come to you. Now, this is simple physics, and not at all hard to do.

And, as my friend Diane says, it’s all the same thing anyway, so if you want the perfect seats, ask for them, see them. Sure, visualizing is important, don’t get me wrong, and Diane is a master manifestor, truly artful, but, it goes far deeper than this.

I mean, as Richard Bach describes, you can think of a blue feather, really concentrate on it, feel it, smell it, in your mind, and then, you let it go. And it will come to you. It has to.

You created it. It has meaning for you.

But, then, there’s all this gunk that gets added to the top of manifesting, weighing it down, rule-bound, ritualized, in its thinking and its practice.

You see, I have always had this split life. I have always known myself to be something I am not. I am a practicing nurse. But I know myself as a bestselling author, a scholar, someone well respected in a community of thinkers, scholars, seers, visionaries, seekers, people who are old, wise, grounded.

That’s who I have always been inside.

And on the outside, I am something completely different. And I have had to find a way to merge the two, or at least let them get along instead of snipe at one another, or try to kill each other.

And, on January 25, 2012, I allowed that writer part of me sort of take the helm. I let myself write, found I had no recourse but to write, and found immediate and profoundly positive changes to my quality of life when I continued. And so, I did. I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. And the happiest I have ever been was when I was writing fiction, caught up in it, hearing conversations, seeing whole scenes play out. What a gift that was!

And so, then I hear about manifesting what you want, and how to do it, and all this stuff, and I thought, for a really really long time, well, the reason I don’t have what I know to be my birthright is because there is something terribly wrong with me.

So I worked on that, and fixed that. Then it was, well, the reason I am not self-actualized is because of my family dynamics. So I delved into it, and fixed that. Big changes, great changes, all good, in these areas. Then, I decided it was because I wasn’t somehow soulically good enough. So I delved into that and set myself straight on that account. And so, this idea that we can get what we want, I like it, because it involved, for me, some strenuous spiritual weightlifting.

Still, I have not what I feel I deserve, a lifestyle beneath my magnificence, shall we say, and I like this thinking a lot. It takes it out of the realm of shadow theater, hooking into the socio-political logjams of consciousness, the bizarre long con called our economic system, just unplugs the angst brought up regarding income inequality, and just elevates things a bit, to a place where there are very good reasons why I deserve more stability.

That has been my prayer, for my personal new year. Stability. An eight year for me personally, I want to really get to know responsible manifestation, responsible reality construction, conscious co-creation.

So, to an untrained eye, my continued lack of funds, continued underemployment, I’m not noticing it very much. I have what I need, and although there are many things I need which I cannot afford, what I have here with me brings me joy, and there’s more to come. This isn’t forever. It just can’t be.

Manifesting, I was taught, is about conjuring up the experience, everything about it, every sense, but more, a sense within your body, of how you FEEL,  what you’d be thinking, seeing, smelling, knowing, looking forward to, taking for granted, if what is in your heart of hearts, if this great thing were to pass.

How does it FEEL to BE in that hot tub? Are you happy? Are the stars out? How does your body feel, getting pounded by those jets? How does it feel to be in front of a classroom, teaching? What are you wearing? What does it smell like? Is it night or day> Who are these people.

Dive in, all the way.

And if it feels vibrationally complete, really really good, then, sort of fill up on it, and then, realize it must now come into being by being released. Holding onto it will tether it to you and make it go small. Let it go.

And then, you walk the void. That space between conception and birth. And that walk could be twenty years. It could be twenty minutes. That is up to many, many things, some of which, in retrospect, you will be the most thankful for. So let it come when it comes.

I was taught, at this point, to think on the whole thing lovingly, this excursion into probability, and say, like a mother, like a kid, “That or something better.” And you let it go.

I was taught to use the meditation, that seed meditation, to gain strength and inspiration, to grant it validity, sometimes, to find and hold one’s true north, but to always let it go. Walking with it daily is a great burden, and remember, the tether.

Show your courage! Show our faith! Stand and walk as if it is already here. Act and conduct yourself as someone whose deepest desires have already come true, all of them. Live from there emotionally, and don’t get too tripped up on the details, like not having what you want.

Now, this can be a very weird place to hang out, and I don’t do it a lot. I allow myself the luxury before bed, usually. I try to reserve the daytime to getting things done, as much as I can, and taking these voices-in-my-head excursions. And night, I allow myself to imagine that every single problem I have, have ever had, is solved.


The puzzles, done and lacquered. The financial woes, fixed, no debt, no worries, income stream assured, for life. I know this is my natural state, where I belong, where I am headed. And at night, I can play in that garden. I allow myself this luxury when I am driving too. I enjoy long car rides. I can pretend longer.

But, of course, it is not pretending. It is dwelling within and calling to me a vibrational level I enjoy, thoughts and experiences I have enjoyed and will enjoy again.

I don’t know how. And this was always where I missed a step with The Teachers, where they would always need to reign me in a bit. I wanted to know the HOW. I wanted everything. Tell me the how. And they would smile, they would shake their head and say, “The how is up to us, not you.” And it felt like a big hug back then. It really did.

I am beginning to see how this part of it works, and like that the weave that connects us all during the day is the same weave that connects us always, and at night, many of us are working together in surprising ways, setting things up for the following experience, that sort of thing.

So, this means, nothing really happens to me without my permission, and some permissions are deeper and more move-the-story-along than others. Maybe the idea is to be as attuned as we can be to this pipeline home, where we are all connected, and just sort of hang there, even during conversations and arguments, even.

So no, when I think that the “hows” really don’t have to be known by me, I still have to work out a bit of dread, because I really don’t know how some of this stuff is going to be done, given how things currently are, and that’s what I have found has been the final act, the thing that propelled me from the platform into this car.

Just really being ok with everything, just the way it is, remembering in real time, and not in the throes of depression in three days, that I, this consciousness, the one blended and able to say “I,”, I can change anything at all about this, but some things are the way they are because they need to be that way. So just let things ride, but do one new thing a day.

Start mixing it up. One new thing a day. And one thing that just thoroughly pleases and/or delights you. Can be anything. Try those two things. Everything is just fine, everything is in order, fear not.

That’s another one of those voices, and it happens now, as soon as the thought is thought which leads to a sense of dissonance or despair or fear. Just a little voice, a thought, really, but it has a bit of an insertive quality, if I’m not too jangly, and I then feel soothed. More able to cope well with whatever is going on. Reset, I guess.

I have tried vision boards at various times of my life, and being a visual person, seeing things I love sets up nice feelings, but I guess my rant about how it is taught is that focusing on that just isn’t enough, and this is being spoken to someone with very good manifestation skills.

I consider all of it quite purposeful, even the tougher things, and, looking back on all of it, I find it to be elegant, lyrical, poignant, dramatic, a little maudlin, and purposeful. So why not this? Why not this stretch too? So, if you aren’t getting what you want, what you believe you deserve, consider yourself on the platform, or in a train car on a train that hasn’t started moving quite yet.

Maybe it’s not because of your shortcomings, or those of your family, or your socioeconomic status, but just because that’s how you’ve written your story so far. And there are whole chapters people just sort of yawn through, and that’s fine, so maybe it’s no one’s fault, least of all God’s, that you don’t have what you want.

They say that because the universe is so literal, if you declare what you want, you will get it. But, it’s not quite that simple, is it? To be a master manifestor, there comes an ownership, maybe of your own signature, your energetic signature, made manifest, in your body. And knowing that which you are, and that which you come from, how can there be a quarrel, really, with what is in or out of your daily life?

Hasn’t Mother herself taught you that what is needed is always provided, and sometimes the unexpected happens, because you are not alone in this. This is a group production, as well as a highly individual one. It’s ok to sense the connection, and to let things happen as they will, acting from the highest awareness as I can, at any given time, as lovingly and nicely as I can.

It, for me, is no longer time to call out nonsense. I was all for it, for a long time, a militant for a new way, fully convinced that everyone’s duty was to wake up, already. I felt impatience with weakness of character, and I felt disappointed and profoundly fatigued a lot of the time.

I resented stupidity, redundancy, invasive behavior, and was sort of a prickly pear. But I have found a different way, these last two years, the thing that has changed the most. I can look at even the most foul person with softer eyes.

I can like the person without digging the behavior, and I find that I can sometimes quiet things down, and sometimes that’s with asking the simplest of questions. I like the people I see, and they seem to like me. There is nothing here not to like. And I mean no harm. I used to think that “harmless,” was a great title to have. Harmless.

For all my bluster and blow, and I really can decimate someone in conversation, not a great trait, but there it is, I am harmless. I might have to snap a nose a time or two just to get their attention, but never without cause, only when necessary. I’m more of a live and let live person, not quick to jump to conclusions, not quick to judge. Isn’t that funny?

Some of this stuff feels like new upgrades, to be frank. I am grateful for these calming thoughts, when they come. I have learned to trust them, and the feelings they invoke. It makes the most difficult day pleasant, enjoyable, to walk around feeling free.

So, the process which ensued, on that cold day two years ago, has changed me while allowing the me that was always there to finally sort of unfurl, relax on the easy chair, get used to the place. So, although I am sure there are passengers on the car I find myself in, and I am looking forward to talking with them, I’m just now sensing movement, and I’m hoping it’s not a false alarm. I’ve had short trips, false alarms, but somehow this is different. Somehow this feels real, the other times I knew were rehearsal. This feels real.

I’m not sure how much I like the train metaphor, because it lends a sort of trapped movement to something I feel is limitless, but what Kryon says about trains and tracks comes into view now, to close.

He says, we jumped tracks a while back, time sped up, but everything being relative, and you being in a train car and all, most everybody didn’t notice. But the train jumped tracks, is on a different line, timeline, so to speak, now than before the Harmonic Convergence.

They also say that if you want to change your track, consider it on an inverted mobius diagram, where the outer strip will get pulled through to become the inner strip, the inner becoming the outer.

And this strip of track can be colored any color at all. And once the new paint is layed down, the whole track is changed, and you will see things come around again and again, new things, just as before, old things presented again and again, being on this strip. So lay down a new color, a new vibration, a new standard, a new tone. And then, everything will respond.

That’s a far cry from a dream board. And I have nothing against visual cues, I really really don’t, I use them, but there needs to, for maximum effectiveness, be something behind it, something core, and real, and loving, and then, from there, what gets manifested will be from that core. It may not look like the vision board stuff, see? Those are symbols holding the feeling. In three dee land, the symbology will be richer, in real time. Expect the unexpected, right?

So, this to me, gets to the heart of manifestation. Because, acting as if, that is nice to do, and when I am doing it with spiritual things, it works better than with material things. I don’t sweat the material as much as I did, but poverty is a grind.

Acting as if I can see the good in situations, acting as if I have limitless recognition and brotherhood with others, that I can manage.

Holding onto a delusion about how much money is in my wallet, that’s just harder for me.

So, I unplug at night and in my car.

The weight lifts, and I am free from thinking materially.

But I can be free anywhere, now, not that a couple years have passed and I can see people more sweetly, no longer a threat to me, perhaps conniving, perhaps honest, don’t know, that’s on them, but here I am, at your service, happy to help, and completely harmless.

And for once, aren’t you finding, that this is seen as a good trait?

I like liking people. Two years ago, this was nearly impossible, for me to like people, all people, in general, specific people in particular.

I balked at everything, I had a bad attitude, and was sad and tense.

A lot has changed in two years. It’s more than I’d hoped for.