Deeply Awake (With CHANNEL) — Focus 2-11-14 By Kathy Vik
I have been noticing many changes, all of them resulting in a softness of character. I find a softness is lent to my days, to the things I encounter, the situations, the demands and challenges, all of it has become gentler, less painful, more do-able, here lately.
And in the past, I have then taken to the pen in an effort to hold, with razor sharp focus, the changes such as these which have come to me, just as I sit here today, and I have dissected the feeling of calm and peace, to see how I can get there and just stay there, that’s been a big part of this, just to figure out, when things go all warm and swimmy, just how it happened, and how it feels to inhabit such a place, to describe it honestly and clearly, so that I might be able to attain the feeling again.
This is what has changed the most for me, and I name this essay “Focus,” because there is a certain degree of focus required, but it really is a misnomer, because what I notice the very most these days is how I can maintain such a broad focus, such a big perspective, while doing the mundane, the basics, even the grotesque and absurd, when called for.
I think this is the biggest miracle of all, how this good feeling, this balanced-ness, is sustained now. This is the miracle, in my opinion.
I thought about it on the way home from work yesterday, on my lusciously long drive home. By now you know I am a straight-on channel in my car. They know they can talk to me, I now I can listen, and so, oh! The conversations, the lessons, the information, it is just as pure as it is those first few minutes of waking up from a good, complex sleep.
On the drive, it occurred to me that those two years of training I received from The Teachers, getting in metaphor and prophesy and hardcore can’t-be-denied-can’t-be-explained information, way back when, twenty years ago, it was my first confirmation of that which I hold.
I thought, as I headed south, on my years with my personal trainer, The Teachers, in the early nineties. I had it good, back then. Things were poetic, the synchronicity really full on, and it was hard work, but it was amazing.
During that time, those two years, specifically, was when I was working with my real-life mentor, cementing the teachings, seeing them glitter and glow in lesson, for myself and for others. A glorious time. Lessons so profound, they are now up for review, and for accepting as qualities I can now hold and sustain, just hour to hour, day to day. Phenomenal, really.
But it never has been so sustained, so sturdy, as now. I went through periods of great darkness, just cripplingly awful times, really. Black, sad times, lonely times, not all of it was fun, or easy, and none of it was meaningless, not one jot of suffering out of place, all of it just fine, in retrospect, but it was how the good feelings would poke through and sometimes stay for awhile, sometimes just burst and flame out, leaving me in darkness again, that’s how this has been for me, in a nutshell, when in comes to figuring out how things work, who I am and why I am here.
And I think that it was a very good device, a lovely one, because it was as if a tone is struck when a new, profoundly benevolent event takes place, and a healing occurs, someone is forgiven, someone is let off the hook, either you or someone else, and oh!
How wonderful this feels!
A moment such as this, whether sustained or not, is one of purity and levity and creativity, of freedom and permission and acceptance. Having had this in such a concentrated form helped me to remember that this is true north, for me, and now, after so many years of struggle to attain it again, here it is again, feeling so in the flow that everything just makes sense, finally, once and for all. Surprising, but understandable, let’s just say.
The thing is, there was much that was inappropriate for me to have, back then. The energy was the swallowing kind, the defeating kind, and it was really pretty hard to shine quite so free and clear, back then.
It was not time, others were not ready, I was not ready. And I know I am not, now, speaking just for myself. I think there are a bunch of us, millions of us, beginning to feel a change, an easing, a welcoming, that we had long abandoned, refusing to carry it from day to day, left in a corner to fend for itself, a hope for a better day, a better way, one when it’s not just YOU being open, being happy, being on purpose, but EVERYONE starts to feel it.
This is the change, I think, and I think it is perfectly acceptable to admit that this is indeed a social experiment, a group experiment, and what we do, physically, and what we say and imply, how we behave, this matters. For a long time, it was hard to hold full-on multidimensionality, it was hard to do.
By special agreement, some did, and were able to just sustain it. The masters, I am referring to, but there are many of them. So many yogis, all around the world, highly evolved ones, and the autistic children, now carrying it as well. I am just sure there is some mathematical, mystical plan somewhere which has formulas with how much light needs to be held where, and, for balance and appropriateness, there must (during the darker days) be a few highly expanded souls walking the planet at any given time, seeds of reality walking around, but undercover, I think, and this is changing now.
The energy is sweeter, more conducive, more forgiving, leaning toward the loving ones, like never before. Pulling us into mastery, instead of us sleuthing it out.
And so, I thought on the way home, gee, I had a hit of it, and considering the energetics, the harmonics, I can see it was a gift, it was the future poking through, and it was a very beautiful gift I agreed to accept, once physical.
And then came the eye of the needle, the culling of a lifetime, a release of karma which went on for months, actively. There were months of taking on Seth, his energy, helping me to break down the very simple, close to the bone constructs that had to come down. All of it, it all came down.
And now, I think I see that there is an amplification of this sentinel energy, the energy I had with The Teachers, and have had with others full of love and light, here to help and soothe and protect me, one this walk. It’s the same relationship I now enjoy with Kryon.
Almost like waves, amplitudes of cosmic awareness got huge, then got tiny, but they came in bursts, during this lifetime, along this wave of amplitude. And now, I feel like we have come through, to the other side of something.
It is all very odd, describing things like this, but I could see it, driving, feel it, and I feel it and see it even more strongly now.
I can see patterns, now, I can feel them, intuit them, there are graphs floating in front of me showing me the spiritual progression in purely energetic terms, and it’s quite fascinating, and nigh on impossible to explain with words. I’d need a 3d graph of some sort. Darn it.
I am so grateful to be able to appreciate things in terms of harmonics, energetics, how things feel. But for those who have what I have, you know it is not any of those things. It is a body/soul/being knowing. It is the core, living in the core.
I see now that my core, this being of light, this representative, as are you, of Source, of All That Is, it has never changed, has always been shining so strong, so pure, so benevolent, and it has been me, my thought patterns and expectations, conditioning and training, which have either obscured and made difficult the view, often completely obscuring it.
It has been my willingness and intent and ability to touch and love that which is me, the bigger me, that is what has been going on. My soul, my core, it is magnificently whole and complete and limitless and eternal, endless in its knowledge and love, generosity and humor, wisdom and soul love, eye to eye “I love you, I know you, I am you” sort of love, it has always been there, hanging out, leading me.
It’s what took me by the hand during my times of training, and it’s what lurked, quiet by agreement, during the times when everything got deconstructed, all attachments removed, all expectations examined, everything up for alignment.
I thought, driving, that the whole point is to keep spending as much time happy, truly balanced and happy, as I can, to seek out the happy beliefs, the happy explanations, the ones that are more benevolent, not for any other reason than it feels better.
I’m talking about the times of a full soul-belly joy, of just being sated, in peace, and the longer I am there, the longer I am there. And here I am, I thought, driving into my basement garage, here I am, believing it all, now, no longer picking fights with it or telling it it’s not even real.
Here I am, no longer making inner apologies for loving as I do, seeing and hearing and expressing as I do. Something has changed, and there is a baseline of gratitude within me that I have never really felt before. With gratitude, there is balance.
The stories all turn benevolent and sweet. Some are poignant, some are tinged with darkness, still, for some, for many, really, but, here I am, knowing in my heart something that people are just now picking up on, that we love each other, and each of us deserve a lot better than we have been giving each other.
Here I am feeling really ok with not being asked about all the secrets I keep about the universe, just really ok with looking normal and boring, but being a undercover angel, a lover, someone who has remembered that we all love each other, suddenly more than willing to just show it, rather than think on it, coming from a place of knowing that it really matters not what anyone else believes about anything. Realizing everyone is in charge of their own experience. Knowing this is one thing. Trying to stay at a higher vibration, that was the tricky part up until recently.
That’s the oddest, and nicest, part about all of this. About 25 years ago, I crammed a piece of paper with every bit of truth I had stumbled onto thus far, all about the intactness of myself, the meaning of life as I saw it, the things I held as my highest ideals, brotherhood and kindness, permission and acceptance, giving credit and love, these things I would read on my smoke breaks, and it was like a slap in the face, coming from my cubicle or nursing unit, out to the curb, to smoke and read, a few times a day. It helped me to remember.
I would promptly forget. I would have to refer to my paper. It was like chipping away at a big, hard lump of granite. In between, it was still a scared, cold, lonely bulk of granite. It had to be chipped away at, I guess, with the truth. At least for me.
It is this remembering which has truly changed in amplitude and frequency. It’s like there used to be weak little bursts of higher truth that would come through, and my whole being would ease, but then, life would come knocking, and I got engulfed, and I would forget.
I now work in a job which is piercingly linear. It is task oriented, multi-tasking all day, juggling, always juggling. And yet, I find that my focus is no longer on the job, per se. I have confidence I am competent, which in itself deserves a national holiday, but more, I feel as if my eyes, my gaze, has lifted, elevated, and I can see more. And as a result,, I am smiling, all the time, like a dope, sometimes. A lot of the time, actually.
It’s as if I spent the first part of my life only being able to maintain one focus at a time. Either I could be in meditation or I could be hanging IV’s. I could be in bliss, touching the face of god, or I could be cleaning the house, but they seemed to be exclusive states.
What I am finding is maybe a blending, but that my gaze is now ahead of me, somehow, but I have 360 vision, and I can see past, present future, behind, here and ahead of me, and the feelings I get with this change of focus are steadying. Thoughts of peace, of benevolence, of compassion, toward others.
I have found that, although I really don’t even want them to, around me, people act very kind, now. I am finding I have an effect, a good effect, on others. I hear things that strike me as worth remembering, the angry one who, now, around me, says things like, “…but, maybe there’s another side to the story,” when bitching about person X, Y and Z.
It’s nice to see, because I really really don’t like when people bad mouth others and spin in rumor and drama. Ick. I don’t engage, say something postive, and bam! The feeling has changed, and that behavior stops. It’s nice. It’s a relief, to be honest with you. I see that people are sort of voluntarily abdicating those habits around me, and I like it.
I didn’t understand that the view would be an integrated one. I thought that if I got clearer, I would see with Matrix eyes, and the physical would sort of be the irrelevance I always suspected it was. I am surprised to learn that this is untrue.
I am finding that the fun of this is in engaging in life in a whole new way, seeing with my soul’s eyes, hearing and obeying my soul’s voice, letting synchronicity guide me, allowing ease and good feelings to show me the next step. I still see through these physical eyes, and have a fleshy vehicle, but it is sanctified, it is beautiful, even when it is in pain or is tired.
I see that the focus is a melded one, for me, a blended one, and each day has become a gift, and I really really do mean this literally. I have not had a really bad day in a long time. No black depressions, no crying for the world, none of the emotional purging and walking in deep reeds that I used to have to do. Things have gotten clearer. The focus has shifted.
I want to tell you of a meditation I had before sleep two nights ago. It was so beautiful, and I hope I do it justice here. It comes back to me in waves now, and I find much peace in being able to ride it, now, anytime, while passing pills, while driving, while writing to you, my dear friend, my loved one, my friend. “You are this. You are this core. Remember how to approach things, what the outside is, and what you are,” this is what comes through in waves now.
But before I do that, I need to close up a loop. And then, I think I would like to close by channeling.
The thing is, this is very individual, it is personal, and it is done for self, by self, with help, lots and lots of miraculous help. But I am seeing the lights go on for a lot of people around me. It seems that people all over have begun to lighten, and of course, there are those who are reacting in ways that are not so healthy, but the difference between the choice of love and anything else, it is so much clearer now, I think, at least for me. And so, as individual awakening is, it is a universal ideal.
I believe as Kryon has taught. It is the ones who have suffered things of which they cannot, will not speak, we are the ones who have, with diligence and care and determination, we have mined ourselves, we have healed, and we see love in our accusers, our abusers.
Once this has occurred, I think the person’s whole being sings a different note, a deep earth bass note, a clear tone of having overcome the worst, having loved it all back to center.
We change the grid, the ones who have done the work, right where we walk, we change people, their magnetics, their awareness. Lightbearers. Lighthouses. And the light is being seen. We are all seeing each other better now.
And so, this is the closing of the circle, that this is a group adventure, and what we say and what we do matters, it really does. Our words are uttered by gods, and the ones who are aware of this are finding their tongues are stilled now, where once they used to wag. We have figured out that this moment, the one you are fully focused within, it is this awareness which is the fulcrum of existence.
What we say and do are propagated from what we think of ourselves, and what we expect of life, and others, that is a point of power. How we think, what we feel, what we assume is true and false, these can and do change, in this process. There is less effort, but more effect, these days.
And I think everyone is getting it. And as I have been taught, and as it makes sense to me, as borne out with what I see happening around me, there are those who have figured out how to access that which makes them, and those who have not, yet.
And maybe now, it will be that it’s the refusal to love that will fade out of fashion. Yesterday, while working, again and again, I had the thought, “I’ve figured out a central truth, and I know something these folks have forgotten: we love each other, so so so much, we love each other, we are desperately, madly, selflessly in love with each other, and we are family. I just know something they have forgotten.” A flush of goodwill would come, and I would feel better.
I stayed in that state while juggling all that a nurse must juggle, pleasing, always pleasing the other, bending, always bending, but, yesterday, my energy ran true and strong, straight and pure, white and gentle, from rising to retiring once again to the arms of sleep.
The meditation came the night before that shift.
I saw, felt, a huge silver lotus spinning in my chest, and I heard many things. I’m not exactly sure how this will go, because some of it was what I was told. I’ll do my best.
I understood that the lotus is what I can see. Then I saw that it had a long, dangly, core root, and then just tons of filamenty things that did the water thing. And then, I followed the root to earth, the matrix of earth. I suddenly could feel everything, the worms, the little bugs, the pebbles, the loam. I was all of it, was participating and observing and physically engaged all at once.
I could smell the musk of earth, and it was so black, but everything was lit up because I could feel everything. It was wonderful. Everything was mutual, cooperative, but more, it was intuitively linked, everything was individual but everything was working together, entangled, one.
I loved it, and did not want to leave. I was told, this is your core. This is your soul. It is the core, that which is in harmony, solid, true, and yet made out of uncountable bits of consciousness, all valid, all seeking their own truth, in their own way. This is core, the soul, the big soul, all you have been, all you will be, in totality. And now, look at the lotus.
I saw it there, on the top of a pond, pink and white and iridescent, and huge. I saw patterns in the sky, saw the geometry of it all, and everything was connected, here, but everything was projection and it was a little overwhelming, in a way. Everyone has thoughts about things up here. See the bloom, I was told.
It has been described in countless texts, it has been mythologized, it has been sung about and drawn, revered, even worshiped. So many meanings placed upon this dear bloom. All meaningful, but all ethereal, do you see?
Everything is projection, thought, construct, and it is dizzying in complexity, and it is engaging, so much so, that it is easy, up here, to forget the earth from which the lotus blooms.
And so, once again,I dove in, thankfully, back into the deep black soil, and I decided it would be fun to fly through the earth, so I did that. I could feel when the pebbles in the soil whizzed through me. It felt good to be so free, so involved, so entangled and yet observing it all. I loved it.
I visited my lotus, then, again, and I remembered then what I saw on Christmas Eve of last year. I saw how everything in physical reality is so consuming, and it’s so easy for the physical mind to get tricked into thinking the projections are real, that what is immediately before someone, is the only reality, when really it is an impression, your own impression, of the object or event, and hence, somewhat of an illusion. It is appropriate to be engaged in it, but see it for what it is.
Much like that visual full-on experience, this meditation got me feeling a freedom and happiness connecting and becoming one with the soil, the earth, and, eventually, to that one skinny, sturdy, miraculous root. It is a physical experience, and yet, so much of it is construct, easily pliable, changeable, each lotus its own cosmos, taking inside it and emanating its own understanding of itself.
I think I have had times within the root system, and times when I was all flower, but now, I like having been shown this. It is not so much a split as a cooperative system, lotus and soil, each supporting the other, one without the other rendering each incomplete.
And so, I will end by channeling briefly. I have been feeling them for a while now, and they have wanted to come a few times the last few days, but I have been caught up tending to lotus land.
We bid you a good day, we give our greetings and tell you of the joy that is known when union can occur, and that is the wish of many, the encoded whisper many are fine-tuned to hear in the wind of change blowing sweetly upon each of you now.
We tell you to things which have come to pass, but also of those things for which anticipation is already being felt, if not languaged, not quite yet, but many feel it, and are celebrating it in reverence, all in solitary reverence.
Many have found the ease, or tendrils of it, prayed for by all, this wish for ease, knowing that which is easy is that which is planned and, deciding moment to moment, using your selves as the guides you are, you are making decisions which are in effect doing what you know you are here to do, dear ones.
You are planting the seeds of tolerance, many of you. Tolerance is a meaningless concept without an oppositional force, do you see?
Tolerance is a concept which allows for all, every one, to have their own perspective, and to be sovereign within one’s own, allowing each one their freedom, of choice, of being, of flavor, if you will, the themes written by them, for their own instruction, this is a benevolent way to approach those around you. This is what many have striven for, it is the life of your masters in action, is it not?
We ask you what we asked the channel last night, and now she sees, thankfully, there is a split, there is instruction, we are LOUDER, after all, the prayers are coming true, and the split is revealed. She asked us to be louder, and in so doing we comply, and she sees how this works, now. We mention it for your own edification only.
We asked her, has it not been the point of all of this to be in deep well-being, in bliss, samadhi, it is called many things, while doing all the tasks you deem necessary, in lesson or as an assistance player? Hasn’t that been the idea?
And so, now you are so surprised when you have such a day. Well, we tell you, these are the dreams which are prone to coming true, because they are held with a steady and true heart. Have you not said that your goal was to be a walking master, in the middle of whatever crisis comes your way?
The cajoling was a jarring sort of event for the writer, you see, for it was a foreign thought, and we ask all of you to stay aware of those thoughts, those moments, when something comes to you that may be unrelated to the task at hand, or might be in a completely different light than what a situation is currently being seen in.
Do you understand, these thoughts can come in a flash, but they are weighty, they have substance, our way of saying these thoughts are loaded with information, and your higher functions are beginning to come on-line, so to speak.
Many of you are beginning to see a balanced way to approach the world, and this is what the incarnation has, up to this point, been about. Tending to your own fields, lying fallow at times, having good, and disappointing, crops, being at the mercy of the weather, the elements, other people’s decisions.
This is what has changed for many. The fields are now richly aerated, and they are under benevolent protection, so to speak, now, and times are friendlier. The soil is hungry for the seeds you provide, with everything you are, without effort, without worry, now, and without fear.
These crops will come in sturdy and at such sizes! Such abundance! You will be amazed!
And so, we ask you to look up, from tending the fields, look up and see us there, suspended above you, making forms in the sky, warming your skin, and you will now be able, while turning back to the soil and the seeds you so love, you will, even with your hat on and your back bent, you feel us now, the sun, the breeze, the support of your mother, and you understand you too are suspended, here, doing meaningful things which may at times be quite detailed and even engrossing, but, you, our dear farmers, you now are ever aware of the bigger picture, and it is this we are celebrating.
Many are seeing that they are more powerful than they had imagined, and some are finding they have learned well the mechanics of manifesting in integrity, taking to heart the fundamental truth of intent, and the power of thought, word and deed.
We urge all to practice this, to be mindful of speech, tone, and countenance. Assist others with their burdens now, now that you understand there is no such thing, it is easy for you now, and we are glad of this shift, one which will improve for many.
We wish to remind you of something we have been saying to you as a group for quite some time, and this is to expect the unexpected. We would love to discuss the changes afoot, but we will leave you to intuit them.
We work in the emotional and psychological realms, which of course impact world events, but we see these greater agreement fields as altered, altering, sweetening, and this is due, dear ones, to your work, your diligence, your love for humanity, and your stubborn belief in yourselves. It is from the energetics that events flow,
We leave prognosticating to those with more expertise in these matters, and tell you instead to expect the unexpected. Allow that which is unexpected come forth, and this implies, dear ones, that saying yes is now in order? Have you not earned the right to give yourself over to your own good judgment, your discernment? As a master, can you do anything less, ask anything less than this from yourself?
Expecting the unexpected, and knowing it will be, can be nothing but, benevolence itself, does this not alter your countenance? Understanding, finally, that you are fulfilling your role perfectly, you are a master walking this earth, and you are doing so every day, and, this, loved one, is simply claiming your birthright.
Each have this as their own birthright, you know this is so, and so, when more are willing to embrace the good in themselves, and in those around them, can you imagine what can be done, what changes can be made?
This is the season for seed planting, and we ask you to remember the season, remember the fashion in which crops grow, allow the linear its magnificent place, allow things to unfold, and hold no fear, love what comes to you, and know all is well, balanced, in harmony.
Remember the admonition we have always uttered: You will be the one that others seek, their lighthouse, and they seek you energetically, some do so physically, of course, and this metaphor may now be expanded, because each of you, as lighthouses, are coming to understand that you are all connected, in real time, in a physical way, with each other. Lighthouses each, no longer alone, communicating with your source of light, which is the same light each house projects, emanates, do you see?
And so, the admonition is a simple one.
Not everyone carries this light themselves yet.
You, as a lighthouse, you know, that the ones who are dim are lighthouses just like you, just like you in every way, with the same abilities, but here you are, shining for them, and this is the way of it now. It implies, does it not, that there is still darkness? That there are fields not yet even budding with life, though they teem with it, underneath?
Of course it does, and it is silly to deny the set up, the duality, the polarities, this is a blindness which dims one’s light. Seeing it all, light and dark, and shining light, a light whose origins are unlanguagable, this is what leads the others to peace, at least in your presence, at least for that moment.
We tell you, in parting, these acts of kindness, these moments of kindness you create for others and for yourselves, these are the moments which connect your consciousness, as a human being, with the light pouring out of your eyes. Allow each their struggles and give to others your undying conviction that they are worthwhile human beings, that they are guiltless, blameless, free, and beautiful.
Give to others this light, give to others your high regard, give to others your mindfulness and your time, in balance, remembering, always, the sun and the sky and the earth support you.
Whether you fancy yourself a farmer, a lighthouse, a metaphor merely allows that which speaks to your indefinably brilliant core essence, your spark of divinity, your portal home, to sing while living within the soft machine we ask you to love like no other, loving and minding to others as you do your selves, now.
We leave you in peace, and utter radiance, we see you glowing in love and light, and we are forever honored in this exchange.