Deeply Awake — No Fault State 2-6-14 By Kathy Vik
Have you heard of no-fault insurance? I worked, as a nurse, for insurance companies, while no-fault insurance was in the state. I liked the concept. It was always seemed a bit daft to me to assign blame with acts of god and accidents. So, the idea of no-fault, I wonder, was it introduced to get us comfortable with the concept of seeing things through those eyes, routinely?
I’d been sort of struggling with integrating these most recent changes in my approach, outlook, awareness, abilities, because I was feeling things were more welcoming and softer, but stark in contrast, and I was being given many opportunities to try out new behavior, more neutral behavior, which, it turns out, is not only calming but often times just what the doctor ordered. It revolves around finding, just in daily practice, that I am being pushed to look at my willingness to not find fault.
Is it going to be ok with me to be the person who doesn’t talk bad about others, who sees solutions, who is appreciative and in good humor?
Can I give myself permission to be this new creature, a being I have long wanted to be, someone comfortable, confident, approachable, spooky-smart, humble, pleasant, encouraging.
Can I be that one?
Because, I will tell you, I unplugged from small-group work dynamics primarily because everyone is working out their stuff, and some people’s stuff is not mine to carry. Some are more punitive than others, and sometimes there is just not a good fit.
A job is a creation, a subtle, sturdy energetic creation, sacred in purpose and construction, a mass of agreements and permission. I find workgroups fascinating, but always very mysterious, up until now.
I took two years off, worked in temporary situations, never a repeat patient, rarely a repeat staff, and I liked it. I stayed away from politics, which is code for the rumor mill, the unspoken reserve of junk people refuse to say to each other, and I really liked it. Coming back into a workgroup, and reliving as I do it such fond memories of my former training, it has been a rich time, one far less awkward than I anticipated, and that is what I want to think on.
I was so awkward, so unsure of myself, so unhappy, for so long, that its reversal, or removal, or healing, has been astounding to have evidence of that is sort of irrefutable. I am able to daily practice from a heart level, and this is a change. So plugging back into the same people every day, this is a good thing, something I had been avoiding, and in retrospect, was appropriate to have avoided, as I did.
So, to come back on-line, so to speak, and to find that I am feeling invited, frequently, to act any way I see fit, and I am choosing, consistently to not get my undies in a bunch to not talk badly about others, to be thinking in terms of why someone would do the thing they did how they did it, and becoming engaged in the group, this is a good thing, not a scary thing, nothing to be frightened of or to shun, not anymore.
And I think this has to do with what I have now pieced together from Kryon just recently. That it is our task, now, to have been doing just as I have found myself doing, that which I was questioning the appropriateness of.
Right on schedule, here’s Kryon giving permission, saying that it really is ok to shine, to act benevolently, to even stick out a bit, because although, in your compassionate neutrality, the bully learns nothing, turning away to plot more mischief, those around you are watching, and will be forever changed, in the way you handle things with your aggressor.
My issue had been that “Oh, my, here I am teaching now, when is it ever going to be my turn” nonsense, and in the last few hours something has broken apart in that thinking. I have somehow spontaneously detached from this expectation train. It’s bizarre, have been noticing it for a few hours, how there is a distinct lack of projection outward, no thoughts of goals or future troubles or privations. No anxiety.
And now I tell you of the nicest thing so far. Often, now, even when things are busy or conflicted, even, I am able to look up, focus away, and feel happy. Sometimes it comes over me and it is intense. Sometimes, like now, it has been blanketing me for hours, quiet, still, steady, just a good feeling of safety and completion, peace.
It is nice to have a wave of good feeling take me over. Sometimes, when I discover I am delving into “what if” or, worse, “should,” territory, I realize, spontaneously, sort of shocking me awake, that there is not one thing in my awareness I have not put there, and my acceptance and gratitude is a stance of wisdom and maturity.
And sure, it might set me apart a little, but I think that is what is changing the most. I just don’t feel weird, or alien anymore. And I often, surprisingly, am feeling welcomed, just energetically. I find I am pleasant and friendly, and surprise myself with my behavior sometimes. It’s odd, and I thinkh it’s ok to be in a safe place while I modulate.
For me, it boils down to having a new and complete disinterest in finding fault. With others, with myself. Sort of like living in a no-fault auto state. The activity some have elevated to high art, that of finding fault, around me, it looks petty and a little weak, and most stop, some defend, and I feel bad for them, but I cannot do the shame/blame/guilt thing anymore. I like the land across the street from there. The land of no fault.
And this is not live-and-let-die mentality, but one where everyone is deserving, and each are vital to the group, and we acknowledge, individually and as a group, that the other holds our heart in their hands, and mercy is the order of the day, the law of the land, benevolence and trustworthiness and kindness are the standards.
Surprisingly, I am finding that maintaining this state is not that hard, and the only real foe I have is the dissonance I feel for reacting differently now than in years past.
If you truly have no faults, and I know it, and you do not, then, it behooves me to reflect back to you your wholeness, whether you choose to believe it or not. That’s what my greatest friends and mentors did for me, they saw a greater, gentler, less pained version of me, and held that to me, and I grew toward it. Holding folks in no harm, no fault, as well as myself, just breaks everything wide open, really. And it’s really ok if some people are uncomfortable with it. It’s new to me, too.
Thinking these thoughts makes me feel good, rational, balanced, and I like feeling this way. Whether at work, with family, in conflict or in union, keeping in mind that there is nothing to fault anyone for, it’s a nice place to start.
I’ll close with what Kryon said in Moscow in 2013, about the Pleadians, and about heating the stove. They said that ascension status is when a being still has DNA, is still corporeal, but is light. Ascension. Just what The Teachers told me all that time ago. As such, they, being our parents, as the story goes, had learned the trick. An oven was chosen for the metaphor.
You can hear the channeling here:
What struck me was the description, so every day, so simple, to start. Consider being in the kitchen, stirring and mixing, what is in your pots, but the stove is not on. It will take you a long time to cook dinner that way, if at all. And so, then there are those who choose to turn on their stove. How is that done? They said, you must fall in love with yourselves. From there, the stove is lit, and this genuine appreciation cannot help but spread to everyone you encounter. As within, so without.
I feel better, having listened to Kryon. His newest messages rocked me, and hugged me. I have never felt so on time, so validated, and so on purpose. Thoughts of a literary career, all of the other concerns which used to fill me with anxiety, and even terror, have gone, have been melted, do not trigger me. It feels good, here.
And, I think, this notion of being in a no-fault state of mind is a good one. It is short hand for having fallen in love with whoever is in front of you. That’s how the stove heats up. Love for others, loving whoever is in front of you like a brother, a sister, a child, a parent. Family. I like it.
It takes getting used to, but I am finding that the anxiety has nowhere to stick anymore. I cannot believe, in my heart of hearts, that I am unsafe, that I won’t be provided for, that I am not protected. I believe I am divinely guided, and better all the time with listening to intuition, being and staying plugged in, just for myself.
This state is one of unconditional love, of course. Without condition, free of fault, no blame, no shame, no gilt, acceptance, permission, credit, encouragement, these are behaviors which make me feel physically really good. And I guess that’s how I end today.
I have begun to notice subtle shifts when I think about or do engage in thoughts and behaviors which are not as loving as some.
Fatigue, pity, worry, these create a discomfort which is hard to describe, but is palpable. Some people’s energy is so intense it sort of knocks me over. My antennae are out, and I just don’t like engaging in the things which make be physically feel bad.
I think that’s reasonable, and good rationale for staying positive, thinking benevolently, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and failing, and every opportunity, to find fault with any of it.