Deeply Awake — Just Like Right Before Christmas 10-28-13 By Kathy Vik
This has been a very deep time. Here lately. As some have read along, I completed a karmic journey of sorts, just recently, learning about how to run my light more appropriately, and it has led to profound peace.
All is synchronicity now, really. I do not feel out of place. The rare times when I am not wanted, sort of falls off of me. And, if you have been reading along, you know that I feel things deeply, sort of instinctively, and this sensitivity has increased.
And there the sensitivity sits, this feeling of being universal, being able to finally get the history of it, the profundity and beauty of it, what we have accomplished here. It is next to this other reality, the one each and every one of us is aware of, because we are hooked in, we can feel the movements of the people, feel how they are stirring. Can you feel it? This other reality has political factions doing outrageous things, “leaders” making dumb decisions, employers giving employees the shaft to save a few sheckles. There it sits, this thing we have created, the thing that is spinning out and experiencing itself in this odd light that has been flooding us.
The reconciling of the two, this cosmic understanding I sometimes get a whiff of, while driving, while watching a show, while having a really difficult conversation, while paying an overdue bill, this sense of perspective and care, of detachment and brotherhood, this is what I think will win out. I hope so.
I read a really great article today, a few actually, and they did so much for my peace of mind. Talking in very plain language, from the inside out, being clear about what they believe is happening.
It is sort of rankling when folks are so plain, I am sure. One of the articles was on how some of us, vibrationally, certain situations are just sort of fading away.
I thought about that, after I posted it. I wonder if anyone will read that and judge themselves as being in the group that is “same as usual?” I hoped not, because there really is such a grand system in place, and everyone is doing just as they choose, but I wonder what it must be like for those who used to know me so well.
A couple nights ago I had what I call a contraction. I don’t fret over them anymore, I know I will have a healing when I wake up the next day. This particular one was really pretty weird. I remember sort of being in a ball and just crying, feeling/looking over all the pursuits I have had, all the secret dreams and relationships and obligations, and I just kept saying, because I was feeling “Oh my God, They are all over. It’s all gone. It’s all gone. It’s all gone.” I didn’t have visuals, and you know how vivid my imagination is. I felt these things instead, the feeling of x, y, z, calling up the entire set up, from the beginning, and all each has meant, and helped define myself.
It was spectacular, looking into this real soft, inky blackness, blind, in bed, at night, hugging myself and crying that my life has ended.
It is a fitting thing to say. In may, I had a meditation where this role I have always played, this hobbled nurse, she was released to go fly free, pursue the nursing, go, go in peace. I did not know what was left, but I knew I had observed the thing, so I knew I was bigger than some nurse, some lady I hardly recognized, to be honest.
But there have been similar experiences since, and many of them have been all about welcoming back parts of myself I had forgotten about, or had never allowed a voice before. Less fear, every day, less fear, and less of an edge with others, because I see no need, absolutely no need, to be defensive anymore. And nine times out of ten, that is completely disarming, even with the highly disturbed. I work psych, after all.
So, this is not about winnowing down, anymore, about clear and focused hyper-focus on interpersonal energetics, karmic patterns, all that stuff. Lived from the inside out, it is pretty much all over.
I have been sweating a few things, and I understood this was to be an exercise in controlling the fear, having something legitimately scary to scare myself with, and to see how I could do with it. The fear thing happened on Friday. I had the weekend to play with it. And I did very, very well, I want to report. An absolutely weirdly miraculous outcome, actually.
And this brings me to the second article. This one was speaking as I wish to speak, have not given myself permission to speak, as an authority, but always always always just referencing self, self’s awareness.
See, I just don’t have that much whatever it is called, the ability to say, I feel this, and hence, it is real, probably for you too. I mean, I do that to some extent, I do, but always with this layer of hesitance, sometimes thicker than other times.
I mean, I want to know what the heck this Reveal thing is all about. I admit, I still have a veil, don’t have access to some stuff. I think that is to keep me involved in the blogs, checking the pulse, checking the pulse.
That’s the thing, really. I use the other writers of the day to see how far we are going. And now, there is a lot of talk about the photon belt, special radiation hitting us, stuff our meters can’t even pick up.
I was told by The Teachers that the ascension process involves what they called the photon belt. They talked of the null zone, three days of dark, three full days of transition, after which “nothing artificial will remain.”
I used to ask them, well, what happens to our cars then? Does everything artificial melt? Won’t there be a huge mess to clean up? It’ll be like a ghost town that is full of hungry people.
Chaos. Day-to-night-to-day switching. That moment that rides between before and after.
That has been what has been coming through for me the most, now. I get it really really strong from time to time, The true reality of this, its true worth and measure.
This morning I had a thought while watching Ancient Aliens. Actually, several of them, but for today I want to tell you about. I considered it, really really considered it. I am living this technicolor life, right? I am in here swinging, really doing my part. And so, this series of experiences that I call my life, it is very real to me, and my accomplishments, which I now better understand, are vast.
Just think about it.
Who else have I had technicolor experiences as? Who? Who have I been? Who am I drawing from, who can I tap into?
Of course, by this time I was sort of passed out in my granny chair, the show going on and on. I have not watched many all the way through, instead, I get super sleepy and then have altered states.
In this one, I had to consider how real our lives feel to ourselves as we are living them. So, if I am tapping into others, other people I have indeed been, then, suddenly, it became a very intimate thing.
I have heard about the notion of “Imprints.” I think Kryon refers to it too. Imprints being overlays we experience before becoming physical, which feel real to us, just as if we have lived them, and yet, in the corporeal, we did not.
I have had to sit with that one a long time. Puzzling that one out. It doesn’t sit quite right. It’s what I was visiting in meditation.
I think that I like the idea of experiencing a life from the inside out. I considered the truth of it. We live in probabilities. The future is not so much uncertain, but open to change, through free will, through choice and intent. Everything is subject to it.
Take for example a woodcutter in the, I think it was the 1400’s. There had been a weird battle in the sky over Germany. The ships shot light at each other, and some fell to earth but were disintegrated. The woodcutter took to his shop, and something like 5 years later, the woodcut was there, for all to see, commemorating something no one understood.
I thought about his life.
Really, when you come down to it, if a person can produce one thing like that, that still shines all this time later, is still posing an unanswered question, all this time later, that’s quite an accomplishment.
And I thought, gee, doesn’t really matter, in this context, how this guy lived his life, what he did, from day to day. I hope he was easy on himself, and I hope his life was a happy one. He did this awesome thing for us. Maybe that was his mission. Good job. Job well done. Thanks. Hope the rest of the ride was an easy one. I also thought, gee, it’s a good thing everything fell into place, and that he was listening when that voice told him to get up and go to the shop, start whittling, see what takes form.
This journal is a testament to becoming, that the probabilities are high for one thing or another, but folks can take what appear to be all sorts of false turns.
I think we have agreements, we have things that we will, we will accomplish, this lifetime. You know of mine, my thoughts on agreements versus contracts (choice vs guilt), but the bottom line is, we come in to accomplish certain things, and sometimes we listen, and what is it that makes it all fall into place and happen, helps get the promises made, helps make a dent?
Because there it is, yes we are one, one consciousness, one will, really, but the will is in the expressing, the experiencing, the choosing, the creating.
These sorts of meditations give me a sense of profound body peace, and this one was particularly good. I could feel the ones I believe myself to be, and realized theirs was also a tale of becoming, of striving and expressing and creating. They too were faced with mundane concerns, every day, food and water, shelter and clothing. Each had a set of guidelines, of parameters, of what could be accomplished, and each became what we now perceive they were. Humble or great, kind or arrogant, matters not. Matters not. It’s part of the soup of each entity, I thought to myself, passed out in my chair.
I could feel the becoming. The daily becoming.
And yet, I know it to be true, we have no beginning and we have no end. This is one track of expression, and there are laws in effect we know nothing of. This is a fractal, a powerful time to be physical.
Lou Reed just passed away, and I posted “Perfect Day” with the phrase, RIP Brother Lou.
A friend of mine replied, and said it might be time to reframe this. We both know, I am paraphrasing, my friend said, we both know what’s really going on. And I took her advice. I Posted his “Walk On the Wild Side,” after thinking on Claudia’s words. I thought it fitting. That song and a better caption: “See You Soon, Brother Lou.”
It is a celebration, a never-ending sea of becoming, coming back and trying it again, coming back, now, into brand new energy, supportive and clear energy, and our work loosens the grid enough of kids to come in with DNA activations we couldn’t have, chose not to have, instead working through the old paradigms, breaking through the old thought, and then holding a place for our loved ones to continue, expanding and expressing and exploring.
I see the news now in joy, every time I see the big stuff. There are rumblings, now, that I did not expect to see for a while. I’m surprised with the peed of things. Sure it may look like chaos, but it’s all coming out. There is no place to hide now. No place to hide, and those who feel they have something to hide are beginning to make some serious mistakes. It’s fun to watch.
As I’ve said, I think this last part has been about figuring out how to modulate different frequencies or realities or awarenesses at the same time, making sense, making sense. And it is funny, because some things that used to make perfect sense, things that were just not even visible because they were so ingrained, now they look and feel sort of foreign, and unappealing, uninviting.
The sad night when I was grieving my life, saying goodbye to it, it was just the end of a long process. I have been thinking about how I want to play this next part out, and what would be right, and this is getting into the questions I had at the beginning.
I feel like this time period is a significant one. I am sort of flying blind here, feeling things light up. And then, this morning, there are those two angels telling us what they think is happening, and others who have talked about photons and energy changes.
There is this talk about an event, a reveal, and I want to know more about it.
Is this the burning off of the last of that person who sits next to cosmic consciousness, on that bench, sitting side by side, that I mentioned. The tight one, the one with the need to comply to “the rules,” the one who considers what is for dinner, what is to be done? Does she blow away and the big part take over?
One of the authors says this has never been attempted before, and it is a little weird, all the different sources now all saying stuff the teachers alluded to. They said that ascension is just the way of it, just the way of it, but this is a special circumstance. There were complications along the way, hiccups, and it’s been tricky, basically. Maybe they were trying to explain what Kryon has alluded to. Our DNA is increasing in efficiency, without the messy genetic bottleneck, as one. All souls who have ever lived on earth are here now, I have heard again and again. A time of shift, of individual claiming of the universal.
So, there may not be a null zone as I was originally taught. I think I could only see melted tires because it was easier to think about, somehow. Believing, even hoping, that nothing artificial would remain within the hearts and souls of others, and self, that would not have been believable, would have broken my heart to contemplate, so convinced things would always remain tight and hard and sad, around me, within me.
So, when I see things begin to loosen and shift, I think that it is just us getting used to more capabilities. The lights come on a little bit better now, it’s easier to see each other now, and harder to hide things form ourselves, I think.
And maybe that is the Reveal, when all is said and done.
Realizing that, quantum time theory and multidimensional reincarnational theory aside, what could be better than having it revealed that we are all creators in this, some more adept, more experienced than others, but if you are here for the ride, just deal with it, you are divine. You have the creator within. You have all the capabilities you could ever hope for.
I will end on this note.
The other night, out of the blue, as is his way, my son said, “You know, I was told this life was going to be a vacation, but so far, it’s been hell.”
You want to take a stab in responding to that?
You want to hold it in your mind, what it might mean to hear a youngster talk so freely?
I told him, yeah, I know it’s been hard so far, there hasn’t been a lot of luxury and stuff, but we have love here, and that is something I didn’t know until you showed up. I didn’t ever give it, really, like I give it now, Sam. I’m sorry you feel it has been hard, and I’ll do my best to make it better for you. I thought about others then, folks who appear, sometimes, to be so clear, so focused, so sure of themselves, and yet, some of the choices they make, wow, I would not want that kind of karma.
And there it is.
Outside of karma, that means releasing oneself from old patterning, but it also, then, must mean release from further entanglements, right?
It means stepping away, not engaging, and then, finally, not calling to you very much in the way of karmic entanglements.
So this frames the changes, the shift, better for me.
There are no winners, no losers, no unenlightened ones and enlightened ones.
This cleaving off, this old earth and new earth talk, really, looking at it, how dualistic can you get? I think it’s nonsense.
The rain falls on the just and the unjust. This cosmic fairy dust we now are breathing in, I think everybody’s getting real strong waves of it. It’s what you do with it, and there are some who choose not to feel it. And that is fine. They are not damned, they are not judged. Each of us weird ones knows all about being judged for our consciousness. I think this old earth/new earth cleaving stuff is, in a way, a stance of superiority, and it is a very very very fine line indeed.
So they talk about the Pluto square, the eclipse, and this feels very similar, very reminiscent of the corridor I felt between the 12-12-12 and 12-21-12. It was a long nine days, very conscious, purposeful, focused days. I suppose I worked through some of it, but I was very poor that year, especially around Christmas. My engine was way past idle, my physical engine, while I adjusted.
This is different, because I feel vitalized, unstoppable, but I feel like everything is ABOUT TO happen. Everyone is in place, in costume. The lighting crew is ready, the props are looking good, we all know our lines, and we can feel the audience hush. There is a change in the sound of the group here, assembled here, to be part of something astonishing.
That’s how it feels to me. That moment before the big guys lift their arms and start hoisting the curtain. The moment between before and after, I feel like that is where I am.
On Monday, yesterday, I woke up, after a weekend of wrestling with a fear I couldn’t physically do anything to ameliorate until Monday, and I was really happy.
I had it real loud, real strong, Kathy, life can change on a dime. Everything can change, expect to be surprised.
And so I have walked with that sensation of anticipation, not fear, just that nice solid feeling you get when you know you’re getting something wonderful, something you have always always wanted, for Christmas. And you know it’s right there, under the tree, but that more goodies are going to be presented, stuff you did not expect, so just smile, just relax, just enjoy.
It is that sort of feeling.
And so, to close, I will say that about a month ago, I had a real strong thought upon awakening one day, about how good might come.
I was told that what comes next is sort of like an inheritance. I then saw a modest castle-like structure in Ireland or England, there in my jammies, and I thought, oh wow, I owned that. Holy crap. I own that now!
And so, it was a feeling of being not so much cared for but the owner of or sovereign of stuff I have absolutely no idea are rightfully mine.
That feeling has intensified, and now it has been amplified by other voices, saying, yes, something is coming. It’s normal to feel on-the-edge-of-your-seat.
It is hard to know, now, what celestial event will be the biggest trigger. That is why this time feels different than the last time I felt in the clutches of celestial timing, inside a corridor, moving to something I remember but do not understand. Something is coming, something very good, and everyone gets to experience at their level of acceptance.
The only thing between a human and these changes is their willingness. Their intent. Their focus. That’s it. And the most advanced in loving, the most advanced soulically that I know, in my life, they really are on vacations. None of them give a damn about this airy-fairy stuff. They are not interested. They have other interests.
And yet, they are very clear, very pure souls. I have often thought about the idea of a vacation. This has not been a lifetime of anything but work, so far. A vacation would be nice. I understand that light work is called that because it really is work, but as the veil lifts and we come more on line, how hard can it be?
Awakening is remembering is DNA activation, and the permission one holds consciously is what drives the car. My will collapsed when things changed early 2012, but that was by design. Since then, it’s been all about the DNA, while still getting along with everybody else.
And now, although peace between my brothers and sisters is the goal, always, I am getting there differently. Not wanting to instruct, to even discuss, with those whoa re not interested. Knowing when to hold my tongue. Finally getting it, that getting it is unimportant, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Loving all like a mother, and that includes me.
Whenever I think on the 3rd, I feel sparks, can see them shooting. The 1st is a big day too. Big big day. I don’t know why, and have no idea what it all means, but I know I will be having fun. The energy feels immense sometimes, and at others, highly manageable. I think it comes in waves.