I am so blissed out right now, that I just have to take to my electronic pen, my light pen, and tell you about it.
You know, that is, to a large extent, what this blog has been about. When, at first, I was having odd physical sensations and issues. I took to the web to ask others if they were experiencing the same. Imagine my joy when people answered back!
It felt like that lifetime, that twenty years of having no one answer back, it was like it had never really happened, in an odd way. Suddenly I was filled with confirmation, quiet, and a quickened resolve.
This is real. What I was taught by The Teachers, who were merely amplifying me so that I could simply remember who I was and how it all fits together, that was real.
It was an odd experience, holding on to something which defined, or which had proven to redefine me, and it was all happening under the hood, after those two years working with The Teachers in the early ’90’s. They were elected years of lesson, of trial and of contrast. It was all necessary, every last bit of it.
I will tell you what I understand, what I have tested and found true and accurate about manifestation. It is a less skilled practice to hook into visuals. It is not wise to imagine a whole lot with only the visuals, or even with just the heart. I mean, obviously, that’s where we go when we are in meditation, eyes opened or closed, but instead, there is a place from which the visuals emanate.
It is a feeling state. Hook in there. What must it feel like to be utterly loved by someone I adore, someone brave and unashamed and kind? What must that feel like? From there, pictures will come. Let they be the markers you use to know that what you then experience is hand delivered from you, to you.
Does that make sense?
Feeling states, they are as palpable as skin, as elusive as a dream, as real as concrete. They are there, always, coming from everything and everyone, but not everyone is aware of it.
The Teachers trained us to sharpen our awareness of such things. They told us, and channeled here later, that one fun thing to do when you feel you are ready to increase your sensitivity is to go to a mall, someplace with many discrete vendors, under one roof, so to speak. And you just walk down the middle of the thing, and feel your way through each of the shops.
The question always arises, How do I know If what I feel is real? And really, what can be said. These are not quantitative things, not yet, so it is not possible to measure. You just have to know.
I’ve recently been in instance after instance, one right after the other, where I can sense the other person’s being in brand new ways. It is never an invasive thing, but I feel I can get people, more comprehensively now. I see them more whole. And this, I think, is the law of reflectivity at work yet again.
I was invited to be a guest on a panel radio talk show, and it happened yesterday. I got in just by the skin of my teeth, and twice my connection broke, but my god, what an amazing event.
There I sat, with four of the bravest, most honest, most loving people I have ever heard talk. Marie’s experience with light reminded of my own, Larry’s sensitivity and poet’s depth I found lyrical, he was so intuitive, and Pat, an ever blooming lotus flower, steadfast and true, and there is Wes, a beautiful young one, one of our heroes, you guys, a twenty year old awakened one. Blessings, blessings be. And there I was, in the midst of all this beauty, all this sensitivity, all this openness and love and genuine compassionate curiosity.
I think this is the way now. I really do. I think that we will be coming home to ourselves and more and more interesting and beautiful ways, coming home to our competence, our ability to radiate meek fierceness, grounded bliss, intellectual curiosity dipped and fried in spiritual hunger.
When things are this clear, there is no other recourse than to write. To sing songs of praise for home, here in our skin and all around us, to negate the ever-present invitation to dwell in drama, to see whole that which always seemed broken, and to see once again that we are absolutely brilliant creatures, well worth our weight in honored gentleness and studied aptitude.
It feels clear to me that now is our time, we old ones, we whole have devoted ourselves to this quest, honoring this need we could never completely block out with all the things we have tried to block it out with, labels and boxes and limits and criticism.
I think it is time to start celebrating ourselves, and to remind ourselves of our worth, as human beings, as emissaries of light, if you wish, as compassionate kind souls who have often been long misunderstood and undervalued.
There is a purpose for this, of course. What better way to really get humility, what better way to mimic the incredible love we have for Source? But I think it is well past time for a lot of us to realize that the earth is cooperating and loving us, it is hearing us and honoring us, celebrating and accelerating us now. I feel there has been a shift, and it is just the beginning nudge on a dial or a spring that has been unhooked from any impediment, and needs only one little nudge to just unleash itself.
I think what Marie said yesterday, in our show, was true, that we have all been getting stirrings, callings, so to speak, synchronicities which are proving to open more and more opportunities, just as some of the best channelers and authors have been saying would happen.
We all have different things to accomplish, and some of us are very convinced that what we do is paramount at the time, and of course, I agree, but in a larger sense only. I am beginning t o understand the complexity, the beauty and the gravity, perhaps, in knowing that treating everyone as brother, sister, father, mother, family, all, seeing to it that each person I see or think on is seen whole, this is our grandest imperative, isn’t it?
You don’t screw with someone holding that sort of energy unless you want very, very badly to lose, and to look like a bit of a fool to boot, you know. This is no flimsy, milquetoast sort of state. This is full-on warrior state, the warrior who has already won, the warrior whose enemies know that battle today, or any day to come, is futile, self-injurious, and ultimately meaningless.
This power comes from a source which we know well, and many of us have longed only to dwell there. Some have misinterpreted this sort of a meld with death, and of course, there are shadows dancing all over that metaphor’s wall, but I think it can be discarded, a nice thought construct, but not the most sturdy.
Blazing with the love of the creator for all that you see, hear, think upon, feel about, or are aware of, is that not bliss, samhadi, nirvana, self actualization, being in the flow, balanced prana, all those things. I think there are many words for it, and it is, in the end, a feeling state, something which can only be known, cannot adequately be described, and can be taught to those who would remember anyway.
I think these love letters from home are helpful for me because they anchor, out there, for all time, what is for me a sometimes slippery feeling state.
I will end with a puzzle, one that I hope you can answer. I need some help with this, I think. Input would help.
I have seen my life as a series of chapters, and almost of characters, almost, although that would be creepy, if I were doing it consciously, I think. No, this seems to be something else. It is a state which sort of “comes upon” me. I can tell you specifically when it has occurred. One time it happened while walking down a sidewalk downtown.
One minute everything smelled and felt one way, and then, everything felt different. Everything. That one time, downtown, my life turned real tiny and mean and small then, for about three years, just being squeezed from every direction, barely functional, in a haze or a fog persistently, but not abusing any substances. Just weird. Really weird. And then, one day, the feeling went away. I feel, when this happens, like I have been released from a net, or that a dam burst, or something.
I evaluate when things get good with being able to breathe. There have been blocks of my life where I could never get a deep breath. Oh so thick, so dense, things were for a time!
And then, things ease up. Ease, that is a good word.
And so, I guess you could say I have a perversely vivid imagination, or some, who know better, would just understand that I am a sensitive to energetics, an expert of sorts, and it is good to finally be in this new energy, I can tell you.
I think the tilt has sort of gone out of the energy of 2013. I think that is it. I don’t feel like my reality’s floor is tilty anymore. I feel like I can find my center of balance more easily, and I don’t feel as clumsy, as out of place.
I’m a big believer in the idea that we are getting celestial energetic gifts, and they are pouring it on these days. Anytime there is some celestial coolness in the sky, and anytime there are bodies winging past us, or other phenomenon is going on, we are getting packages, the grid is, and we, by extension.
They are packages that many don’t realize are worth opening, some would not know are have interest in therm, some of our brothers and sisters have theirs piled high, all over their house, too afraid to open them, and their way is now getting a bit more impeded, they are putting themselves in their own way, until they start opening some of these deliveries, special ordered, much anticipated and loved deliveries, I might add.
So, this is how I like to think, because it brings me peace, and makes sense of a world that makes no sense to me if not seen through these eyes, through this muscle and mind.
Kryon said we could come to anticipate such a shift, where things just stop being so weird for us. And that maybe this is something we could design a ceremony around. Some way to commemorate the end of the tilt, the end of the weirdness, the end of the year of full moon energy. It may not peak for a little bit, but just like some of these times I go through, with their weird smells and feelings, I can feel them coming on anymore, which is nice, and this is a good one. It is the beginning of homecoming for us.
So I sing a song today, I write a letter today, languaging love in the best, most true way I know, trying to help others who might be in a similar state not feel alone, but it is true, it is true, coming here, resting here for awhile, I see that I cannot be alone, that this is really a form of madness. We are anchored together, each to the other, in light. I may not deliver all my lines the best, and I may miss due dates on bills, but, I can tell you, I can see you whole now, and this is a good vantage point, because you are spectacular. As am I. As are our neighbors. As are those we have come to call enemy.
We can now, perhaps begin to manifest that feeling state of how connected we are. We have been feeling it for quite some time, have we not? I have been having meditations of grids lighting up, and being a light on that grid, for over a year, and I know many of you have too.
We are connected, and we have grown in consciousness enough to begin to manifest this connectedness in the physical, as a divine confirmation of all we have become, all we have come to embody, all the love we have for our brothers and our sisters.
So this is where I leave it today. I hope it is not too preachy, because that is not the intent. It is to sing a song of praise and celebration, a song of gratitude and wonder and light, one of absolution, shamelessness, guiltlessness, freedom, joy and clarity. It is to shine a beacon so that everyone who stumbles upon it can maybe see that they too are good, true, right beings. So what if you feel you screwed things up. So what. What is done is done, and can only be improved upon in the state. The past is as plastic as the future, and it is all dependent on this moment, here, now. Where are you vibrationally? Are you singing too, or too sad to sing, too burdened, too worried.
I will tell you that that is a good place to be, and it is not permanent, it is finite, purposeful, good. The thing is, it is not the natural state. The way we have been made to be. Our natural state is one of trust, joy, delight, balance, depth, wisdom, clarity. That is the natural state. So, if you feel the eddies that beliefs which are not sturdy create in the stream of your consciousness, bless the disharmony and look at the water. Bless the disunion, see that you are recognizing it, and it is a friend, and cannot harm you. It is just a thought. One that is not true, so it is replaced, within the very stream, with ease, with release, with flow.
This sounds insane coming from my former self. It is too far afield from what I was, back then, back then, a while ago.
Each day brings me closer to embodying this state for all time.
But this state will fade, and I will return, to solidity, to linear time, to my story. I wonder, how seriously will I ever be able to take it, ever again, seeing what I have seen?
This is my love letter, for a beautiful autumn day in Denver Colorado. My son is playing Xbox in the nest room, home from school sick. Gut problems, allergic stuff. His interpretation of our most recent round of energetic gifts. It hits us all differently, but I am convinced now, it is hitting us, changing the grid, Gaia, us, our very DNA.
We are on our way, and along this path, when it seems like a good thing to do, I will write you letters from home, because I will need to refer to them at some point. When the light dims, when I am beings pressed, squeezed, challenged in a new way, I can come back here, and read my letter from home.
That is why I am what I am, and I do what I do.