I want to preface this blasphemy with some news from the front. I have just come up with the obvious truth, something I have been feeling for quite a while, even thought up some words around it, but I have not been able to language it until today… does that makes sense? It sort of comes in waves, some of this stuff, and becomes crystal clear, and then sort of gently recedes, not fading, staying clear, and yet not quite as available emotionally.
And then the wave hits again, and I am carried off.
Mind you, this is happening in broad daylight, and I am stone cold sober, sober as a judge. While doing errands. So, yesterday was like that all day long. I left so high, and bright, and clear. I found that the stuff that has been coming through in channeling has been helpful, and accurate.
They have been saying, all the time saying that if I just show a little it of effort, not interest, but effort, if I just apply myself a little to any problem I have in my life, any issue at all, if I show genuine concern and interest and show effort in PARTICIPATING in the situation “myself,” in some even very small way, the whole galaxy is just gonna be handed to me, and it’s going to be incremental, and it’s going to be slower than I’d like, and it’s going to be absolutely mind-blowingly fabulous, and I just need to show a little effort, put my back into it, ENGAGE.
And so, I have been putting off getting my expired license plates, because I believed I was so poor I could never afford the repairs needed on my car, so I put it off, and put it off, and put it off. Ridiculous. I just recently had an encounter, a benign one, with a meter reader, and then, a couple days ago, I got a ticket for it. Yep. I did the 2×4 way on this one. Because I was scared. I also convinced myself I had hundreds of dollars of repairs and couldn’t afford it. That’s didn’t happen. Thankfully. But, wow. What silliness.
So, I went to the license plate place and got an extension. I had just enough time to get to the emissions place before they closed, another necessary step that tripped me up, and actually scared me, and when I found out the emissions test was $25 and I had exactly $25 in my wallet, well, there you go, now we are off and running.
The car passed emissions.
I could feel the “angels” singing, I really could, there was actually a lot of chuckling.
I think it’s easy for me to lose sight that I am cracking out of agoraphobia, and it grips and shakes me still. It gets me scared and anxious about doing things I used to enjoy, or at least tolerate. Maybe it’s not right to label it, another label added onto the growing heap of them, but it helps me to see the changes, the arc, the improvements, actually. Today, I went from thing to thing, and from time to time, because it was hard but I did it anyway, I heard angels singing and chuckling.
Now, I know this may not seem like “the galaxy” to you, but, to me, this is a big deal. At every stop, every encounter was an uplifting one. I had a great time waiting by talking with two kids. One told me her daddy accidentally shot her, and she showed me her scar. Just was compelled to tell me about that horrible night, she was. The boy wanted to play, and exchange raspberries (mouth ones0, and giggle. So we did that. I mean the ground was scattered with roses, all the way through.
So, to me, it was a blessed event, and one worth talking about. I am not concerned with those who might criticize this work for not having a point. This is the point.
This is a real life, real time journal, or blog, or book series, or whatever, about a living, breathing ascensionist. I am affiliated with no religion, although I have a lot of Hindu iconography about, because it makes me calm and happy.
Ascension, for me now, it is just a vibrational thing, a frequency thing. It has a lot to do with light, but I think light is a pretty generic, and not very inclusive, term for this thing.
I was asking myself about it, because I was having just terrific arthritic pain. Horrible, oppressive pain. I am not going to a doctor, unless I have a mechanical injury, like a fracture or a deep cut. Then they can help me. But no more chemicals, unless I need them, and I did last night. Ouch. So I went to bed after four Motrin and some Neurontin, that’s how bad it was, and I had a talk with myself.
I said to all that is, hey, I am hurting like a son of a bitch, and I have repeatedly been working on and thinking I have effected healing, but this stuff keeps coming back. I can hardly walk sometimes. What gives?
My body felt like it was on fire, and the pain in my right side was so intense, it felt like it was inhabiting, or pushing into me in some way. Then I realized, that is where I got injured in that car accident, long long ago. And I realized then what I have been taught is really true.
I was taught that these joint pain, and many illnesses, in fact, are from light imbalance. I have come to think of it differently, but along the same lines. I think it is a vibrational imbalance. I think we are being inundated with such energy, unseen gamma, lots of stuff we don’t yet understand. Come on, there is so much happening celestially, it’s almost like they’re showing off.
So we get hit with this, and Gaia, is responding to our shifts, our consciousnesses, our kindnesses, our more expanded and loving interactions with our fellow human beings, and all of this, the three of us, the All, we humans, and Gaia, we meld, and increase our TONE, our vibrational signatures, our frequency.
And what this does to the biology is to create sort of eddies in the places where there has been past injury or grief. And so the places you have been in deep communication with your body on some issue, whether it be cancer, or joint pain, or any trouble, any trouble at all, this will stir things up. This is to get your attention and get you to deal with it.
However, in the case of something relatively simple like joint pain, it is just a need to bring awareness to the situation,.
But in my case, giving my awareness to it was really healing. I remembered my accident, and where I was as a person, as a wife, as a mother, as a soul, and I did my grieving and regretting and asking forgiveness, and really really seeing the situation for what it was, and this was helpful. I made peace with my ex, in a new and more complete way, and [I went back to the accident site too, and I was with my broken body, calming the fears. Telling the people to be good to her.
And now I can move my arm. It feels good. Tingly. I don’t really know what any of it means. And I haven’t figured out my hip, but the Teachers always said, it is a frequency thing. There is a resistance there.
Now, I have also been working with my DNA, and my innate, and I have seen that it is wonderfully possible to be right there, where the cells divide, and to joyously state, that this time, and for all time, forevermore, I give you permission, and I request, that when we divide, our cells, they will divide and produce only healthy, clean, loving happy cells.
There are no more diseased cells being produced. Those that are in my body, they are taken care of, and I have read up on how “they” think it is being done, I am with Kryon, The Teachers, and a multitude of other: this is quantum DNA stuff. You can get in touch with all of it, and once you start, believe me, it knows, always has known, all of it. There’s just a veil. It’s set up that way.
So once you figure it out a little, things become more accessible.
So I have gone on and on about what I am discovering, and you came for a Jesus joke.
I have always had particular fondness for Jesus jokes. I love ’em, always have.
OK, this is weird, because I am a little afraid to go forward with this. I feel giddy reluctance.
I feel like I will be forever changed, or marked, if I say this next stuff. But I think I want to, more than I want to remain silent. I can do this.
I love Jesus jokes, because I have always considered him a friend of mine. A deep and true and personal friend. I thought nuns had it easy, and I wanted to be one, because I had always felt married to him. And I cannot really explain this love, because it is thick, and true, and blessed. I love Jesus so deeply. Have since I was a child.
I have said it before, I have been visited by him in youth, in adulthood, and it is a physical experience, a physical experience. It is visual and auditory and physical. It is so calming, I have to say, and any fear I would have about saying these words, he is here easing the, Aww. Thanks.
I have a beautiful fabric panel of Shiva covering my door, and I know he is a friend of mine too, same with the Buddha. But Jesus, well, that’s just a little different.
I am amazed that this love feels so personal, so intimate, that it is hard for me not to conjure thoughts of jealousy, on whose part I do not know, and I suppose others would brand this a psychosis of sorts, but it’s not like he’s always there. Just at special times, unannounced, when such a miraculous visit would be especially needed, you might say.
I want to tell you of something that might make all of this ok, and might put it in the proper perspective.
Once we figure out how to see quantum energy, once we can grasp with our linear minds, once we have found sort of a mechanical translator for this energy that breathes us, then things will change.
People will become interested in DNA work, in what has been called ascension. It is a science, and it is an art, and it requires high consciousness. It requires integrity and awareness of self, first and foremost.
So, you can go all messianic, and many are visited my angels and archangels , and I love every minute of it. I know I carry around energies that I consider “not mine” and it’s an important way to translate what is coming from the beyond. They are our translators, and they are beautiful, and I love the clothes and faces I give them, and I know they have their own reality, like my friend, my forever friend, Jesus.
I don’t walk alone anymore, and I guess that is what I have been trying to say.
In late May, while my dad was in the hospital, I took a walk with his wife. It was poignant and peaceful, the whole way. Close to the halfway point, I felt a presence, and then I felt a hand in mine. I knew it was Jesus. I knew his energy. Oh! To feel him again!
So we walked, in silence, and then we would pause and she would go on and on about nature, just in general, and she’d comment on things in her life, and how much she loved someone, and then she’d crack a joke about something, and then we would lapse into silence.
But we weren’t alone on that walk. I had a companion.
Vel, she is a love vortex. Those who can tune into it can feel it. She is phenomenally connected to the other side. But this makes her completely non-linear. She doesn’t remember many important things, like what day it is and what’s going on around her.
She is steeped in love. So, as we were walking home, hand in hand, she said she was afraid Erv (my dad) was going to die first. I asked her then, if that were to occur, could I finish out her walk with her, by her side? Would that be ok? She smiled and said yes.
And the three of us walked into the house.
Later, I had a meditation, a very powerful one, that I have not talked about. I hesitate to talk about Jesus because people have aggrandized him. He is one of many human masters we have had. Completely operational, DNA blazing, no karma, no polarity. Beyond polarity. Inclusive of polarity, lets put it that way. They were here to tell us that it could be done.
And it is done with love. With honor. With spiritual maturity. These next tools are just not available to the completely linear mind. You have to start unlocking the DNA to see this way, to think this way, and it is available to everyone on the planet, especially now.
It is true, I think, that we are in a powerful portal or hallway right now. Since the beginning, the sextile, until the 25th. I have been told repeatedly by “them” that August 25th will be particularly significant for me. I cannot see how this will be, since I am hosting an overnight party for my kid, but whatever.
I think that we are living in extraordinary times, and the trickiest part to it is that not everyone knows this. Not everyone has tuned in.
I think it is available to anyone, regardless of spiritual pedigree. I agreed to be someone who had test piloted it, which I did for a couple years in the 90’s. And so now, the juice is flowing, and it is very very very easy to manifest now, very easy to be in touch with our guides. It is free flowing now, there has been a shift, and I sense that things will be improving dramatically, if you will excuse my use of that word, but I do sense some big shifts.
So, I guess I want to end this most bizarre post with the thought of how this might finally be ok, me having a buddy like this, not some savior who rescues me, not any of that, although that is an interpretation many find helpful.
Nope, for me, I think that we are from the stars, and once we figure that out, once we can see that there is life out there in a different dimension, and, by virtue of the machine we create, we realize that we too have these dimensions within, and then the communication can begin.
When you realize that you yourself are timeless, that the lives will keep coming as long as it makes sense, and it makes sense to do it this way right now, why not have fun with this, and see it big. See that we are more than these problems that weigh us down, and the worries that we love to use, to block us.
That’s what I did with the license thing. I thought real small, was doing a habit that has long exhausted its usefulness. This has resulted in a shift in self-perception. I see myself differently, better, so things are just naturally going to improve. Because I am making better choices, not because of peer pressure or out of self-hate, but from a place of excitement and adventure!
So that’s how I leave this. If it serves to push people away, then so be it. I think it is time to start talking like this. I think this stuff is happening to my family, all across the world, we are awakening, and we need a place to talk about it. It is not for everyone, not now.
But I have seen how this works, and the dynamics are such, that if we can keep straight and true with our work, we can accomplish wondrous things, and there doesn’t really have to be all that many of us on the ground. More than there are now, but we are getting ever closer.
So, call me an ascensionist, call me a master, call me a Buddha, call me crazy, the facts are, I work as a nurse, I am an uncoupled mom of a 12-year-old, and I am only now just becoming. I have had a shit road, made a lot of bad choices, and had bad, bad things happen to me that never should have. They never never should have. But they did, and so be it, and here I am.
I have been extra naughty, took my time getting well, and have committed most of the sins. I have not murdered, although I would go through murder book periods. I know all about serial killers and criminal psychopathology. It fascinated me. I worked forensic psych there for a while.
So, I will really, this time, end with this note.
I remember going into the teachers one day, and I was just disgusted with myself. So lost, doing such a shitty job of keeping things together, I thought. And so hard on myself. Oh. My. God.
But, I was knee deep in drama, as we all are at the beginning, sorting out karma, making our way. And I asked them, how is it that I can have such exalted conversations, and feel so good and whole and ready and clear, and then I go home and drink a pint of whiskey and barf and feel crappy the next day? Why am I so compelled, and how will I ever get my life in order?
And they laughed, and told me that many succumb to drink because it induces the spin, and the old ones are lonely for the spin, and so many of the ancients are drunks, so don’t judge this compulsion, just understand it, and love it.
Then they did address my main question, why do I go through all of this? The weight, the drinking, the messed up relationships, the debasement, the abuse? Why all of it? It’s awful and dark and scary and big. Why?
And they said, it’s so people can look at you and say, “Well, if she can do it, so can I.”
You understand, now, why this journal is being written? Why I have been so incredibly honest throughout this? No inhibitions, really, some secrets, yes, but no shame, certainly no shame, in this writing.
Honesty is what you see here. An honest human making her way through DNA activation, ascension, whatever you want to call it.
Yes, there are some thing s I will not reveal, are really not for anyone’s awareness but my own, but I do know this is my job. Be honest, tell of my fractures, my mistakes, my woes and fears and troubles, my victories, my visitations, my meditations, my healings.
And then I stitch it into the grid, I make it real, by writing about it.
That’s my mission, for now. For now. For today. Until it is no longer fulfilling and interesting. Until it no longer lights me up, I guess.
My true mission, really, is to have my hand held by my friend and companion. To learn about and commune with the other energies and possibilities inside me, and on the outside too.
That’s my job, for now, that and nursing. I hope this ascension job makes me money so that I can quit nursing, but that is just one scenario out of many.
Keep pushing on doors, I hear. Keep showing effort. But know, they tell me, it is finished, it’s already here, just trust a little.
Easier to do with my friend here, usually mute, not always palpable , but nice to know he’s around, this entity, this energy, this love I call Jesus. He can take a joke. He can take a joke. Loosen up.