Deeply Awake — Thank You For Helping To Heal Me 7-17-13 By Kathy Vik

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Deeply Awake — Thank You For Helping To Heal Me 7-17-13 By Kathy Vik

Ten pages, two attempts and a meditation later, I am finally ready to tell you about what’s happened, what I have come to understand. I write with a heart of enthusiasm, and of joy. I sense something like trepidation, for a moment, and then I doubt such a thought’s relevance. I prefer to doubt it, and to continue with the good, but definitely weird, news.

First I need to preface, and you know I am a talker, so this will be as succinct as it needs to be to say what it needs to say. To not explain the next simply and clearly and deeply, well then, the rest of it falls down, so we’ll do this carefully.

If you have been following along, you know all about The Teachers. For those who have never read me, then I will be brief. I have had a series of teachers in my life, from a very early age, and was reared in a household which viewed any and all unusual things as cool, relevant and fascinating, but the ones who changed me the most, gave me information which would not become relevant until now, was The Teachers.

I’ve not asked, but will, and if the channeler of these great ones wishes to be made public, I’ll tell you her name. But she is a beautiful person, a gentle and wild one, a sister, but she and I, we do not walk as friends this lifetime. The Teachers, they helped me. They kept me here, and prepared me for this. That is something family does for one another, so this great channeler, she is a sister.

The Teachers were like my private Kryon, my private and personal channeled entity, who I interacted with and who told me jokes and surprised me and made me cry with recognition, for a couple of sainted years, when I was in my early thirties.

And then, on the 12-12 of either 1993 or 1994, I forget, they ascended. We helped them.

At dawn, 12-12-9?, we gathered, a big group of us, in a circle. I got to pray the Great Invocation for the circle. We held high intent through the day. At the 12:12 we gathered at MCC on Capitol Hill, and it had been arranged, while the 12:12:12 passed, we were giving ourselves communion.

It was important, The Teachers said, that we do this to ourselves, for ourselves, by ourselves, as no human has authority over us. Of course, can’t you see it, doesn’t it just fucking move you to tears to hear what they did for us that day? Conferring upon us the mantle of The Christ, christed ones, all of us, anyone who wants it, anyone daft enough to feed themselves wine and crackers as body and blood on a cold Thursday afternoon.

So sad, quite a pity, if someone cannot see the sainted significance of this act. And then came sunset, a group of us, drinking beers and feeling like we did some pretty cool things that day.

The Teachers were not channeled that day. I remember now. I wanted to hear from them, but they were, maybe already gone. But, they were there in a different way, especially at the church. I was there, as I was writing it, before I got all 3d. There with the cool grey marble, on the raised area, each of us, one behind the other, shuffling, deep in prayer, in meditation. I cannot, will not, take communion lightly. If you are going to do the thing, do it right. Be in that moment.

I am not imagining cannibalism, come on, no, what I am at one with during communion is the idea and I am physically, chemically, bodily, connected, in a real and tangible way, with the Christ, with my friend, with one of the ones I consider a big part of The All. It’s best channeler, maybe, but, so much more.

So, this great love, this inner peace I came to know with The Teachers, it left when they did, I hate to report. I looked high and low for others who knew half of what I did, none of which, I might add, was available for reference. I mean, you just can’t un-know some stuff, but then, what if you are the only one who knows it? It can make you a little crazy. It did me.

And so, without any real success, I sort of sank into depression and melancholy, self-pity, and ultimately, sort of a really fussy, enraged, picky anger. Just pissed to be here, with no real appropriate avenue for exit except illness and death, which is a drag, with responsibilities

I never really explicitly asked for, which I have come to loathe and sometimes fear, and which just freaking flummox me a lot of the time, and a heart that is way, way open, walking among folks who prefer to walk around slammed shut, and who seem to get particular pleasure in trying to slam me shut. It’s like a sport to some people, that!

And so, it was hard, yada-yada, and every one of us have had similar walks, if we are of a certain age. The younger ones don’t have such a thick overlay, but we layed it on heavy, a lot of us.

So I want to tell you how I have been healed. And to do so, you must understand that this walk in the desert that I had, this need I had to return to that quantum state the Teachers invoked and then trained me with and on, it has ended for me. I am home now, free, and I am reconciled with being here.

I think I know how to proceed without pain, I mean, if I am paying attention, I will be party to sad or disturbing or shocking things, I suppose, since we are all in amnesia to some degree, but I can do it without self-loathing, self-pity, anger, resentment, fear. And that, I would say, is a healing. I accept my role, my compulsions, and have decided to just let myself off of any hook I find my consciousness dangling form at any given time.

I had thought that The Teachers were a group who, as they said they would, ascended to their reward, and then they were having a great time on the other side of those clouds I can never see around, filing their nails and playing volleyball, while I sweat blood and missed them.

That was sort of my take on the whole thing, and it really sort of pissed me off. I felt like, I didn’t ask for this amnesia, and I would prefer to have it whole, but it is sort of a double-blind, because I want to see whole, but can’t because I have amnesia which requires I see things not whole.

Obviously, just so obviously, when this is the case, when your consciousness has outgrown its utility, there has to be some help, right? Call it Deus Ex Machina, call it a miracle, call it calling in a debt. Does it really matter? I think it is just proof of how much fun and how creative and loving and spookily miraculous each of us are, how gloriously wickedly hilariously this whole thing fits together, and how freaking benign it all is.

It’s all tied together with love and with humor and grace and that shiver you get when you have been totally and utterly seen, loved, with a love so thick and true that the idea, the word forgiveness looks like a pretty little bauble next to this sort of love.

That kind of love, it is timeless, and it has its own reasons, its own rules, so to speak, and its own way of moving everything just right. It answers itself by allowing for all things.

In this sort of state, it seems highly reasonable for the entity who was clothed as Jesus to also have been the Buddha, Shiva, Zoroaster, Lao Tze, of course there are gradations and different bands of this energy which take different personality clusters, but there is within that soup of archangels and masters, one voice, one clear message that is languaged by, and understood by anyone who takes a long walk with a holy woman or a holy man.

And so, when this energy reentered my life, during the desert years, it was like a little blossom, but then BAM the lights would go back down, and I would be so despondent, looking for, wanting to feel, that light, that love, that bloom again, but I couldn’t find it, not anywhere I looked.

Some have had what happened to me happen to them. It’s like a series of lights switches have been turning on, the first one for me on the night of the end of one of the counts of the Mayan calendar, the one that ended October 2011.

Oh my goodness. That was the night my body decided to kick into the new energy. And it has never stopped. I mean this in a good way. My body, innate, it switched on, and this is the basis, really, for all the rest. I won’t go into details, there are other essays which talk about this.

The point is, there is a certain purity of energy which is impossible to replicate, impossible to ignore, and impossible to forget. And I tried replicating it on the outside, and failed miserably. Then I decided to take a walk inside me, and really really commit to what was within, and this was in 2012, and things have gotten really, really good. I started writing Deeply Awake because things were coming at me so fast, so fast, and I had been told by The teachers, instructed, that this sort of information, it must be stitch into the grid.

Great love like this, it must be languaged and stitched into the grid, or it is not realized. You stitch with great honor and deep respect and complete focus, just utter clarity, and then, the grid is forever changed. It is forever lighted, then, because of the love you stitched. And so I have stitched away, through these days, months, now more than a year. So I wrote Deeply Awake. Kicking myself, putting myself down, fearing and crying and hating myself the whole time, thinking my words as nothing but madness most of the time.

Along this journey, late in the game, Kryon came into my life, and he is who has healed me. I say that almost facetiously since we all know that no one entity can heal another entity without an exchange occurring, this is a vast and cooperative thing I am a witness to and participant in.

I’d been looking for The Teachers since their departure, and that energy was here, from 1993, always public, always ready, already serving such a high vibration, such pure information. Kryon started to publicly channel in 1993. It was always a choice, it was a planned, it was cooperative, to have stayed dark like I did. They were always here!

Today I share with you information which Kryon gave me, which seems to, in all honesty, been said for me, on my behalf, for this work. And that is why I am including it in detail here. I believe that Kryon’s message is The Teachers message which is the message of The All. It is a christed message, if you want to go all messianic. Is just as easily a scientific message. You want hard science, really really amazing stuff? Go quantum. Everything is just waiting for us to think bigger, with our hearts, with our souls, and with a smile on our face for once.

This is a healing brought about by Kryon’s teaching entitled Common Misconceptions of the Light Worker, or words to that effect. Sorry. It is from 2008, our spiritual winter, and has that old vibrational attachment, but you don’t really have to open it, although it’s there. The message is louder. At least, the message was louder for me, and so, it might also be for you, since I’m just one of the gang. It really floored me, and I wonder if anyone else is going to react the way I did?

I want to give you a clear idea of each point, with commentary, as appropriate.

When I heard this, recently, it was for the second time. The first time, several weeks back, the message rocked me, but it did not roll me as it did just recently. That’s because I was playing with, flirting with, dropping my karma, but really was unwilling to take the natural consequences until just recently.

1 – KARMA –

The first point Kryon makes is that KARMA IS DETRIMENTAL to lightworkers in this new energy. It is the overlay which compels you to act, move, grow in certain ways, be pulled and pushed in certain ways. It is an overlay you take on when you come in, and it is not necessary anymore, if you walk in synchronicity, it gets in the way, gums up the works.

Commentary: I believe that karma is largely fear based, I mean, it is in that vibratory band, and that all releasing karma does, in the end, is to allow me to react, in any situation, as I want to act, not as I feel compelled to act. If that is the case, I can maneuver just about anything with no fear and with great gratitude and enthusiasm and wisdom and a sense of humor. And if that is the case, life gets real, real simple. So removing karma suddenly made a whole hell of a lot of sense, and finally sounded like fun.

I have to tell you something really, really important that Kryon mentions in this section. He talks about how you can play with releasing karma, and you could be through with a whole lot of it, but if there are places in which you are stuck, can’t move forward, and you know it is karma (and two situations come screaming into my awareness… how about YOU?!) then, come on, let’s be honest, take a look at it.

Kryon says, join me here, for a moment, and let’s take a look at it. And it is true that some of these things, the hold outs, the last stands, the overlays that are pernicious or sticky, well, these are things which you have loved, have found identity within, and solace, and purpose. You have not given permission to release them, they have become precious to you.

And now it is time to see that the you that you are is now quite a bit larger than this personality quirk. This “sacred wound”. It defined you, made sense of you and healed you, but it is not necessary, your explanations, your personality, if you can call it that, it is bigger than that now. It is ok to drop it all now.

I thought of my real issue with those who are not kind, not generous, not giving. Those who lie to and deceive themselves and to others. I thought of the perverse need to control, people have, their need to tell me what to do and what to think.

Hell, yeah, I have really held onto these. They blind me with rage, make my chest feel like it is going supernova into sadness and despair, some of it! And I can see, while in meditation, right where it came from. Which lives, which circumstances, which reasons, how it all started. And enough is enough. Enough is finally enough.

And I have dropped it. I have released it. Three hours after I dropped it, two days ago, I had an old adversary in my face, picking a fight, ready to do battle! And it has been resolved, healed, sanctified, and everyone involved is at peace for the first time in a long long time. So I know I have done it, I can feel it, and the tendrils of karma, which both Seth and Kryon refer to, these karmic thought constructs, belief structures, agreement fields, they pervade and are complex and affect all we see, it is no small thing to release karma, so you can expect things to resolve, to finish up.

2 – CONTRACT –
The lesson, in essence, is that a contract, anything I think I might be here to do, or “have to” do or was “built” to do, well, that is a karmic overlay, neither good nor bad, but call it as it is, ok? Karmic overlay.

Your contract is written in invisible ink. If you want something bigger tomorrow, dream up and sign a new one, if you feel you must live under contract.

Let you contract be that of being a compassionate god. I like that, Kryon says that a lot. He also says, in a different tape, he queries, rhetorically, did the musician know, the day he finished Ode To Joy, did he have the first understanding of how many millions, from then on, millions would be moved by those notes?

No, probably not, Kryon says, it was just his contract for the day.

Live your life as a compassionate god.

As The Teachers always said, see if you can be the open heart in the room. Just do that. Be the open heart in the room. Be the one who is holding no fear, who is holding unconditional love for everyone in that room. Be that person.

Kryon also says, about this, that it speaks to the idea that no one is trapped into anything, at any time. There is no such things as a groove you cannot get out of.

Nothing need be added by yours truly on this point.

3 – TIMING

This is where things got weird, you guys. This is where I think Kryon was reaching out and helping me personally. Tell me what you think, if you want. That’d be nice.

He said that there are two parts to growth now, informational download, and then patience and synchronicity.

And this, dear friends, this is where I think The Teachers asserted themselves. Held at a certain angle, listened to with the right heart, this next stuff, this is just what The Teachers were always harping on. Always. Always. And so I write these next points with a bit of cheeky familiarity, some out and out channeling, and great love for Brother Sister Kryon and The Teachers, of course.

You get a download, something that makes the top of head, heart, body, explode, and your life alters and everything becomes illuminated. And then, Kryon says, what do you do? You have this download for a system, or for an understanding, or whatever, and you go right out and do it, and then, what happens?

You fail miserably.

It does not work.

No one listens.

There is just no play.

No synchronicity.

And then Kryon laughs in his gruff way and says, dear one, who told you to tie the message with the clock?

All of this next part, they have been hollering this to me in my head for months. What a relief to hear the words, right out loud, and now, to write it out. My god, what a relief. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and wonder. Let me stay with it…

Kryon says, yes, here you are on fire with this new knowledge, this new way of being, and you finally have some answers, and you want to move with it, you want to quit your job and travel and teach! And this is the hard part. It’s a two-parter. Informational download, then patience and synchronicity.

Synchronicity, Kryon repeats again and again, as did The Teachers, all of my teachers, probably all of your good ones too, synchronicity is the engine of manifestation.

Let me repeat that.

SYNCHRONCITY IS THE ENGINE OF MANIFESTATION.

This means you prepare, but you do not act.

It means you wait, and you let the energy come to you.

You wait, and watch and you begin to see that it is through synchronicity in 3d reality that what was given to you in a quantum state shall and does, always will, come to pass.

The truth of the truth is that it is you yourself who is creating the synchronicity, dear one.

And how it works is if you think you have failed at something, Kryon said, he said, hey, you do not throw it away, you do not fret. You put that which was given to you in a quantum state on a special shelf, and then you wait until the energy around you shifts and the synchronicity, dear one, will shine like a light right onto that which has been on the shelf, waiting for its day, for its time in the sun.

You let the movement of the energy arrange itself for the support and recognition in real “time” that which was once a thought, a precious thought, a “download.”

He said, once the energy lines up, and you can feel it and you wait for the enhancements to what it is you have been creating, and you find and gather the correct people in the synchronous timing, and you will get chills as it approaches because it will be blatantly obvious, and it is then time to act, and until then, you let that beauty sit and shine its own light, waiting for a time when the light within matches the light without. See, simple.

4 – HOW GOD WORKS –

It used to be wise to live in a state of “Let Go and Let God,” of radical trust, but really, this is speaking to a place where there is a state of relative disempowerment.

He speaks of the Harmonic Convergence, and how this changed everything. It is no longer appropriate to sit and wait. Instead, it is appropriate to get up and start pushing on doors. The right ones will fly open, the wrong ones will require too much effort to be interesting for long (hopefully.)

I would add that I think the appropriate phrase for the state which comes after this resolution is that of being fearlessly patient. Putting yourself into situations which you probably used to find uncomfortable, but see, if your karma is gone, so is the remote push panel you used to have, making you go nuts when someone did this or that, making you, it seems, to behave in ways you’d maybe prefer not to, including avoiding stuff that would help you meet folks who could help you.

If you can’t get activated with anger or rage or fear or hate, then making new friends and being rejected by old ones, it hurts less, it makes some sort of sense, and it is much, much easier than to walk into new experiences fearlessly, not convinced that “this is it,” but certain that things are lining up, and therefore it is wise to keep your eyes open for synchronicity.

5 – LIGHTHOUSES –

And here is where the dispensation came, the love, the healing, my friends, for me, something which I think Kryon was referencing. I think he was talking about Deeply Awake. But you tell me.

First, he said, in this new energy, after the Harmonic Convergence, you have to know now, you, me, we are all pushing, pushing, pushing such pure light, so much light, that no dark thing can get into us, at us.

It was true, in the older energy, that healers’ DNA could become corrupted by the darkness of the others, in great concentrations, it was possible to be harmed. No more. So, it was once highly appropriate, and even necessary, to protect oneself, but no more. It is no longer possible to be so affected by the dark.

The shift has occurred, and we are no longer vulnerable. We once were. We no longer are.

And I have sit with that. I am being told to write it.

Sit with that.

Wow. It really makes being karma free possible, don’t you think? If the darkness can no longer effect us as it once did, then what is there to be afraid of, and why would I want to engage in fear based, 3d, linear, lesson? Why?

Kryon says, things have changed, it is as if a switch was thrown, and in less than a generation after the Harmonic Convergence, here we are, being able to strike a light so hard no darkness can get in.

If your light is pure, you cannot be touched by any dark thing.

You can get right into the aura of someone who is highly unbalanced, you can look them right in the eye, without fear, and they cannot touch you.

And then Kryon did everything except reference Deeply Awake, in my littlemind.

He said, You are pushing such pure light, lighthouse!

Where is the statue for doing THAT?!

Where, he asked, through tears, are the songs for how much you’ve grown?

Through tears, when I was healing, I said, I am writing them! I am writing them! I am writing them!

And then, my heart got full, and I felt so good, so good, so good. I felt healed, like I could drop all of the shame I have carried for this thing not having been a big hit, for not touching people as I wish it would, for people not also feeling the love I convey when I write.

I saw me as a young writer, as a nurse, as an old nurse, and now, not knowing what I am. And I could see it all made such lovely sense, and I am such a loving being, to have done this, and it really really was ok for me to have exposed my life as I have, exposed myself in such an odd and silly way all these months.

I couldn’t have not done it. And everything I have been and done and known, it lead to just getting to a place where I could write this down for us and make it somehow real, true, so I could never get lost again, I could never feel that level of darkness, despair, fear, ever ever again.

And then do you know what Kryon says?

Oh, we’ve just had an epiphany.

He said, lighthouses, turn your light to this one. We could give a name, but just shine your light. Give this one that which has been asked, and let the healing take place.

And I could feel you, all of you, turning those huge lights right to me, and smiling , shining ancient love, an ancient love I cannot long for in this state, because I am being bathed in its ancient wisdom, patience and benevolence. Everything, then, makes sense once again, everything is sanctified, justified, whole and pure and true and right and beautiful.

All those lights, all around the world, loving me, making me whole, telling me I have not done one thing wrong, I am loved, everything is divine order, and we can finally, finally , finally see one another. And we love each other. And we support and recognize each other. And because we have seen each other today, we can never really come to that place ever again, the one which says you are all alone, just give up, there is no one here but you.

And then Kryon said, now, look what has happened, as we tuck them in and they go to sleep, a child who has gone to bed in fear every night, is now safe and sound. Safe and sound. Safe and sound.

And I want to thank you for that. Each of you. And to Kryon. And the All. This healed me. It made me whole. I hope you can feel this, I wish for you to want to know this peace. That’s my wish. One that comes from a heart of gratitude, of wishes fulfilled, of an ancient ache quieted, an ancient hunger satisfied, a constant burning, soothed, healed.

I am healed.

And I thank you.

And lastly, Number Six. Kryon boldly references items three and four, saying that there are a few people who have been given very clear instructions as to how to proceed in 3d, soulically, in the new energy, and to please see numbers 3 and 4. Hmm.

6 – THE LOVE OF GOD YOU ARE DISPENSING –

But, he says, it is wise to remember that goal setting, cause and effect, success, victory, this is you talking to you, these are not things spirit places or has placed upon you. It is your message to yourself, not God’s message to you.

He crescendos by saying he wants to address those who are concerned about succeeding spiritually.

This family you call God, he says, it really doesn’t care what it is you do, because you are already doing it.

Self-improvement, seeking informational purity, intending to and then holding the hand of your Higher Self, mining your own Akash, healing your body, that is all there is, and that is everything.

Anything else is what you have placed upon yourself so that you can feel like you have accomplished something.

But right where you walk, every day, right now, it is the love of God you are going around dispensing, it is a purity of spirit which changes the vibration of those around you, impacts the crystalline grid, and is changing this planet, moving this entity and all its inhabitants toward being a planet of perfect peace.

And you want to do something.

The angels rejoice in those who are being and not doing.

Do for yourself, Kryon admonishes. Give yourself joy and peace and happiness. Do for yourself, be happy, for your own self, and then, if the right people come along, and you go and get to be the writer, the author, that’s just fine, he says, right there on the tape, but work first on purifying your DNA, because that is where the light is.

He then ends by telling us that these principles are sound, and will remain sound for our lifetimes. We are shaking hands with the enlightened energy. The earth shifts with consciousness shift.

And thus endeth the lesson.

He does say that we will remember this day, and I think that I will just think on this as the time of the grand trine, the portal I have been told so much about. This is just the beginning, and it is an auspicious one.

I guess I have very little to say in closing, except this.

I kind of wish it were possible for me to do as Kryon does, just get the “oh, you disbeliever, you too are awesome and cool, but I know this might not make a whole lot of sense. But it’s as real as you want it to be, so let us begin” and then smack you with pages and pages of a download, but it hasn’t been working out that way for me.

Mine has been to take this information in, live it, exhaust it, outgrow it, argue with it, challenge it, destroy it, if it can be destroyed, put it together in lots of shiny ways, and discard that which does not stand firm, and then get I get a bunch of new info, try it out, rinse, lather repeat, sort of thing.

Maybe it’s because I am dumb. Nope, can’t be it. Maybe it’s because I’m spiritually retarded. Again, it’s possible, some of my behavior does speak to a certain strain of retardation, it’s true, but I think that I have this weird combo for a reason.

I like the esoterics, like to think quantumly, or at least more holistically, but I want purity in thought, and I am not really going to be satisfied until I can love everyone, everything, and act in integrity and kindness in all ways, all the time. That’s the goal. Duh.

And so, I think this lesson has given me a perspective that I needed, and permission to slow down, and to love what I have been doing even though I have gotten no goodies from it. It has been an over-a-year-long lesson in seeming futility, or laziness, or self-indulgence, self-fascination, or, looked at with kinder eyes, softer and maybe older ones, I see that what I have done is all I could do.

Hit with puzzles I could not solve the old way, in my head, I went back to my first love, writing, journaling, expressing, and I did it this time in light, not in the big pretty notebooks I used to scribble in, but on the web, free, so that folks could read along, so I wouldn’t feel so alone and so fucking crazy all the time, really.

And I have done it fearlessly, and honestly and with great integrity, and with no promise, no hint of monetary gain.

You tell me, if that is not a song of a lightworker, tell me now, what is it?

And I tell you, before you can even respond, something about me that tempers whatever you will soon say to me.

I don’t know you, your stories, the smells in your house, the burdens you carry, the weights you are yet to lift. And you know some of mine, just a few, not all of them, but together, here, for these moments, we really are a bit of a family. You may put this down and go fix a car, or wipe someone’s butt, like I do, or put a Spiderman Bandaid on a boo-boo next. I don’t know. But I do know we are all together on this thing. A lot of us are all together now.

I haven’t been putting myself under a microscope for nothing, I have done it because I could not do anything else. I had to. I had to. I had to.

And I don’t know where it leads, I have always told you this, but I do know where it has gotten me, now, and what it speaks of and to, and it is good and it will indeed stand the test of time, and come to help more than a few people, maybe, and this, even indirectly.

If this thing stays shelved, if my talent, even, stays shelved, if for whatever reason I decide not to kick myself out of the nest, take myself out of the pushing on doors equation, my work is done.

I have been feeling this for a while now. The bulk of this work is complete.

I am now called to do some other things soon, but I don’t know what they are quite yet.

I have a screenplay I need to write, and a novel, although I hate novels. I have other teachers to discover, and my life is calling to me in weird ways now, and there is resolution all around me.

I will leave you with the blessing Kryon just gave us, his newest message. I sat in the parking lot overlooking the prairie dog reserve that abuts the apartment’s land, and I listened to it, yesterday. Twice.

What Kryon is telling us is that this year of resolution, and of full moons, and that there is death in this year, and there is loss, for many of us. We are losing lights, friends, folks we love, some of us are.

And this year, he likens to walking across a battlefield.

He says that the old energy lost, and this is our year, to walk through the fields where the battle took place. Through the fog that is now just beginning to burn off, there they are, bodies stacked up like corded wood, faces distorted and masked, lifeless, and ours is to walk through this inert battlefield, taking it in, seeing in those dead eyes the eyes of our children.

It is a heartbreaking thing, in many respects.

So, gird up! Be strong! Take heart!

Know that this is appropriate, these losses.

He reminds us of how things work, telling that some of the lights we are losing now are, within months, only months now, they are reincarnating, so that by the time it is our turn to be infants, we will have fully realized teachers. It is the way of it, and need not be seen as the end of all things. Remember to look up!

And, Kryon adds, there are some who are having a pretty good year so far, overall, no real bad stuff, and a lot of things coming to a close, lots of things getting clear finally, and to this Kryon smiles, laughs, and says, yes, yes, there it is!

This year is the year of RESOLUTION. Teetering energy, it can go this way or that, always in stasis, always in balance, well, he says, this is what is changing, and it is changing, the balance is changing, toward the light.

Which brings me to my commentary, and then the end of this thing for another day.

My commentary is on this light balance.

I am beginning to think that emotions, feelings, yes it is very important to be open emotionally and intellectually, hand in hand, in concert with great self-awareness, but emotions, just willy-nilly feelings that can easily overtake or even blind, well, emotions are of the old energy.

See, I think the old energy was that of feelings, and this energy, it is of light. Light contains feelings, but a whole lot more. I was once guided only by feelings. What else was there that I could get a handle on? They seemed to be the most reproducible thing. Certainly other people’s behavior was, and remains, random, chaotic, unpredictable. I can gain control of my reactions, my feelings, my emotions, and that’s about it, I used to think. Still do.

That’s where I started.

And from there I have come to see that feelings, for me, I see them as the steam that rises off of food. And some food is baked in dirty kitchens, with hands that still have poopy on them from the last bathroom break. And some foods are of very high quality, made mindfully and in great integrity, and these foods, they give satisfaction that sometimes just goes beyond description.

So, I don’t get all tangled up in feeling unless I am willing to drill to the thought constructs which are steaming off of the in the form of the feelings. Feelings tell me how good the construct is. Are the feelings full of fear? Am I feeling fearful? Oh/ That is steam from one very foul pie. I don’t have to eat that shit anymore.

Like steam rising from a pie, certain belief structures, thought constructs, I find appealing and some I find repugnant.

I appreciate the repugnance, but I don’t take it in anymore, I don’t sample it and I don’t make a meal of it, no matter how hungry I am.

Because within me I have found a way to feed myself.

I no longer need to smell anything than what I am cooking. Sometimes I might add a dash of terror to the recipe, if I am not careful, but it’s funny how, all together, in this alchemy kitchen, even the dashes of terror integrate into the thing and are somehow neutralized. It’s just a spice anymore. It’s not anything but a spice. It used to be all I ate. No wonder my gut was the first to correct, once the energy was cleaner.

That is how I leave it with me, and with you, today. I love you, and wish you only peace. If this gave you some, I think that’s wonderful. Healing, that is a quantum and an intimate thing. I won’t even ask if you got some here. That would be beyond my hopes for this work.

Upon re-reading, editing this thing, I realize that this is something I have been praying for, a way out of the confessional, maybe, or a way of being able to see the confessional a little more lovingly, more indulgently.

I did not mean to say that Kryon’s work was to somehow bless or justify this work, and need to make this clear. I don’t know Lee Carroll, have never been face to face with Kryon, although I have been praying for some miracle to make that happen financially since he began helping me months ago, but, no, this is not to toot my own horn.

It was to show you that some entity, who I have never “met,” is someone I consider one of my greatest teachers, and that his words, though directed at a huge audience, somehow found their way into my heart, and helped me to set some very fundamental things right, I say all this so that you can gain comfort, and you may feel some permission for weird ass miracles that make no sense and that some would laugh at, others would gesture something to protect themselves, upon hearing, and others would just sigh real deep and smile.

If Kryon can come into my heart, some insignificant writer, someone who was convinced for a lifetime that she was lost and no good, really, misunderstood and under appreciated, certainly, then, why can’t he do that for you? Why can’t we do that for each other? It’s all so cooperative, and I guess, I mention the synchronicities not to make me special, but to make each of us special.

Do you think I believe I am the only one with a message? Ha! I read the web. I see what sort of light is emanating across the globe, how far some of us have gone, how much mastery some have attained. I am just a cog in the wheel;. If I can do it, if I can be loved so totally by a non-physical entity, TWICE, this lifetime, maybe there is some sort of invisible help other waiting for you?

Maybe it’s not Kryon. He;s just a flavor. There are lots of channelers out there.

And the very best channeler out there today for you, you know this, the very best one is you. These messages don’t have to be delivered in a blog, or on a stage. They can be done by loving your boss, standing up against a wrong thinking individual in a loving way, singing a good song in the choir, I don’t know, there are tons of ways to get there, tons of ways to be touched. It is just a thought away, just a willingness away.

Peace, that is enough for now… any healing that you felt form this, you gave it to yourself. Thanks for doing it.

And so it is.

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