Deeply Awake Realized — Ten Happy Thoughts 2-2-13 By Kathy Vik
It came to me today that this peace which is so real and sturdy for me anymore, this clean place internally has everything to do with thinking and believing in brand new ways. These thoughts used to only swirl and dance and become active when I was reading them on a page or hearing them in meditation.
But then I’d have to engage in reality and my peace would crumble, just blow away like toothpicks.
And that happens less and less now. And I really feel a need to let others know about the thoughts which have righted a few things for me. So I am going to do that in this blog, as economically as possible.
TEN HAPPY THOUGHTS , IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1 – Every time I go to sleep, I am switching focus to my bigger reality, my bigger self. The bigger part of me which I always envisioned was in charge, I used to imagine was only active long ago, in planning things out of me here, putting people and situations in my path to help me, activate me. Well, now I understand that this is not a one-time, only-done-before-you’re-born type of thing. We do it every night. We are so plugged into Source, but there is a disconnect, and that disconnect is worked around when I sleep.
2 – Everything, absolutely everything has consciousness, and the degree of magic my life and heart contains is directly proportionate to how well I am paying attention to the aliveness of my physical reality.
3 – Men and women, male and female, boy and girl, there is absolutely no true difference, except for the assignation of who has the egg and who has the seed. Everything cultural rule regarding male and female abilities is a human construct. It isn’t real. This brings me so much peace. Any such rule is from someone’s imagination as to How Things Should Be. Many expectations, roles, and bs behavior are distortions and Other People’s Understandings.
4 – At first, it is absolutely helpful to imagine that everything and everyone and anything you are now aware of is neutral. Nothing is inherently bad or wrong or evil. Sit with that one. It really changes one’s life. But it is a bit of a mind-f because some things that happen in this world are so very, very bent.
So, then comes the next bit of information, the next upgrade: everything is not, indeed neutral. Everything, absolutely everything is BENEVOLENT. Everything is positive, and the world bends to meet you.
Without taking the trip to everything-is-neutral land, I wonder if it’s possible to get to the next phase, when you know, just in your gut and in your soul that you are covered. That you are loved. That you are safe. Maybe so, but it wasn’t that way for me.
5 – So, everything is baseline benevolent. If that is true, then it follows that I am also made of this benevolence. And that includes the ickier, dumber, more unskilled parts of this personality I currently use to explore my world.
6 – If it is true that everything is made out of love, god, spirit, divinity, whatever you want to call it, then that means that even the most awful villain I can remember or conjure is also made of goodness.
7 – Perhaps what separates the jerks from the non-jerks in this world is that the non-jerks just have remembered that they are not and never had been jerks. Maybe jerks are people who just don’t know/remember just what it is they are really up to here.
8 – When I intensely dislike a person, or their behavior, I am not reacting to a part of me that is hidden somehow from my awareness, a boogeyman lurking around, who pounces on me when I encounter someone whose issues are similar to mine.
When I intensely dislike a person, or their behavior, I am reacting to perhaps a piece of me which I fear I possess in spades, something I find ugly or unpleasant or bad. This is a very important point.
I think this philosophy that if someone pisses you off it’s because you are reacting to something rotten inside of you, no, that is not only inaccurate, but so distorted that it can really be damaging. Anytime we align with a false belief, there are grand adventures. This false belief, that if I hate you it’s because I hate myself, and this hate is valid, I reject that outright, and invite you to go a day suspending that belief structure.
The real question is, when someone does something that you have discerned as inappropriate or unacceptable or gross or dumb, can you still think of them in high regard? I think that can only be authentically done when one understands that each of us is our own reality. Each of us are our own sovereign. As such, we are all responsible ONLY for ourselves, for our own reality, our own experience.
9 – Time is an illusion best side stepped in physical reality by shifting focus from a temporal framework to a framework which honors meaning, significance and relevance. I think that our lives are actually organized by these three guides.
Of course, things that are joyous, deeply loving, tender, these are the moments we crave. If we focus on seeing meaning, significance and relevance right NOW, in this moment, we tap into source. Simple as that. Look up right now. Look around. There is not one thing you are looking at or thinking about right now you have not conjured.
I think this is how all “past” lives are organized, and I think that it is through awareness of our reality’s personal meaning, significance and relevance that we can touch the larger part of ourselves, the one who is actually a member of the board.
10 – Any answer I want I can have. If I am really stumped, I just need to ask. In dreams, in meditation, in waking moments, the answers come. I want them. What is in front of me is a result of my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. My feelings. My assignations of meaning, significance and relevance. What is in front of me is a shadow of its origins.
I create my reality, in part, by assigning meaning, significance and relevance to the (seemingly) neutral events I encounter or choose not to encounter.
The next part of this is going to be the manifestation part. I know I am manifesting right now. That’s pretty obvious. But I have been doing so in an unconscious, or rather an unskilled way. I am still doing the interior work, but the exterior stuff will follow.
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I will leave you with this little teaser, this anecdote:
We got hit with a doozy of a blizzard last weekend. Sam and I went to the store on the way home from collecting him from his Dad’s. I was stressed, because it was truly dangerous to be on the roads. I left the store without two bags of groceries. Spaced them. Already slipping and sliding on those roads as I was collecting our bags.
I got home and realized we didn’t have the bag with our food staples. I called the store and let them know of my error. The guy said he was aware of the four items, and I could pick them up any time.
I was not able to get back to the store for two days. At the store, I went to the front and told the lady my situation. She smiled an old, indulgent, kind of angry smile. She said, “Oh, they lie about that kind of thing all the time.” There was no list of my items. There was no record of my call. I stood there and raised my hands, smiled, and sputtered. What do I do now? What I thought was, I am broke, and I need these four items. They were all generic items, butter, chips, eggs, milk. What do I do now?
She nodded. She let me sputter. And then she shook her head slowly and said, “Go get them. Just go ahead and get ’em.” She told me I didn’t have to check in with her when I was done. She let me go.
Now, I want you to really get this. I had driven to the store having some very queer thoughts. I have lately begun to realize that this love affair that I have had with poverty is nearly at its end. It has served many wonderful purposes, and it was necessary on every level.
Before getting to the store, I had had some thinking about being so poor for so long, this whole year, being so broke. My thinking went, I think I have explored most of the things that poverty can teach me. I feel this is a lesson that is nearly complete. And the next phase, then, is to become more comfortable with more. With ease. With peace.
And, then the thinking went, yes, things will need to start slow, and just like the incremental way my other understandings have come about, this too will be a stair-step thing. There will be some wild cards, some surprises, but now, this next part, this is about getting comfortable with receiving, with allowing, with surrendering to all of the support I have around and within me.
And then the grocery store thing happened.
I walked through that store feeling about twelve feet tall, highly physically distorted, feeling tall (I’m 5’2”, and feeling tall is a great feeling). I was grinning from ear to ear. I understood right then and there, in the aisles of that grocery store, that I am just fine, and that this is indeed the fun part.
See, there have been no tirades, no political or economic treatises. I can happily go off on such a tangent, but these are all sideshows.
I think on these happy thoughts and I am feeling better. I am intact. I am on my way. And if I can help you, with explaining my happy thoughts, that is a good thing. It is far more constructive than bitching about the status quo.
I hope these helped you.