Deeply Awake — Forever Friends Because Of Our DNA 5-8-13 By Kathy Vik
Yeah, and I’ll be able to tie these three little concepts up in a few pages. Forever. Friends. DNA. Sure. Let me at it.
But really, these are the themes I have in front of me, and I will tell you how this train of thought came to be, and we’ll see if the great and powerful wizard can indeed once again conjure a cogent discussion on these three topics all at once, in a satisfying, funny and uplifting sort of way. We’ll see. I have my doubts.
This morning, I heard on KBCO that our (Colorado) legislature has set the allowed amount of THC in a driver’s blood. I have no interest in explaining the nuances, just know that if you are a moderate or heavy user, just know, at any time, your blood level, well, I heard it could be a “5”. See, I don’t know if that’s true or not… but the stoners I’ve talked to are pretty bitter about it.
And why would a blood level number bother a stoner? Because repeatedly, state legislatures are setting the magic number for driving stoned/impaired/drunk/subject to being forced into the very expensive and undignified and punitive and sort of psychotic web of The Man, at, oh, you guessed it, let’s all say it together.
Hickenlooper, our elected governor, commented on the level, saying it was a bad idea. And I’m walking around my bedroom, saying to the radio, “Hells to the yeah, Hickenlooper,” thinking that he’d say this whole idea is just retarded. Leave the stoners alone. Or start penalizing and terrorizing everyone, at random, and check their blood level for the amount of shit in people’s veins these days. I’m a veteran nurse, man. I know what people are on. It’s a wonder there aren’t more accidents, really.
Nope, Hickenlooper thinks a different number is better.
Oh, it’s so delicious, let’s all say it together, again, all together.
Zero tolerance, it’s called.
And they say it like it all self-righteous, puffed up, convinced this is a good stance, that it’s the only way to see things. Then they double down and tell you that you must see things as they do, or face penalties. Really quite unpleasant ones, actually
Oh my God.
Blood levels of zero are good for Colorado, he goes on to say, stuff like that.
Oh my God, when does this madness end?
When will it be possible for the masses, we insignificant ones, the labor, the great unwashed, when can we finally just be trusted?!
That got me thinking. Crawling from under the weighty depression that living in stupid times generates, I brought out this distress on the way home from dropping Sam off at school.
When I got pregnant, I knew a freedom I have never known. Although I really felt like I’d been roped into a twenty year project I’d never had any interest in, there I was, making a baby inside me.
And I relished that no one could regulate it.
I am All Over This Shit.
I felt so rebellious and free, in some respects, because I had happened onto an area where no one is an authority but me. Sure, it made sense to have experts following along, but, really, what could they do? If it was out of my conscious control, it certainly was out of theirs. I found the ones who took it all so seriously the most hilarious. Oh my God, the drama. So silly. So many dumb rules. Like they know what’s best for me, for this thing inside me. They’re nuts.
Regulation. I read that baby book, I guess that’s just standard, but that was it. It’s not that there aren’t plenty of authorities, but I thought it silly to have someone tell me about something I was doing just fine all on my own. I understood about sovereignty when pregnant, I guess, and I came to see that all the beliefs I’d carried about the body being this mysterious friend who has it all under control were right on the money.
I really felt an honor for my body I’d considered intellectually but has never experienced consciously. Of course, all of this was wrapped in deep paradox, which is the way. My mom died 8 days before my son was born.
And my photos from that time show a fretful loneliness, the madness kind, the end of the road kind, the staring into the void kind. Not a gentle time. Not at all.
But, here it is, in my face, this morning, every morning, every day. All this regulation, rules around everything, about everything. My god, it is so invasive, I can hardly breathe when I think about it. And it’s there. Every single day. The rules that most people don’t even notice, they chafe me, now more than ever.
Why? Because I really resent anyone acting as if their way is the only way, and I will meet with pain, incarceration, and death… social, financial, familial, but death all the same… if I don’t do something, anything, the way they are certain it should be done, must must must and, in the end, will be done.
And they are wrong.
They are not enlightened.
They aren’t very nice.
Enlightened people just don’t make people do stuff.
This rebelliousness is a low-grade thrum with me anymore, but I am a career nurse, I am not incontinent with my behavior. I can behave. But yikes, the resentment I used to feel, it was unpleasant. Mostly because it winds up that having this level of an issue with “authority” is not so socially acceptable, really. The anger peeks through, and just for an instant my authority winks, but then it gets pissed it’s not ever taken at all seriously, so it sulks. It’s a big baby, or it had been. It is prone to sulking and rumination.. It scares people.
So, here I am thinking Hickenlooper is going to say that these rules are unnecessary, and let’s just be reasonable, because this is just a set up waiting to happen, and it seems to me that this is just a brand new and more expensive way to punish people who are kind of freaky and weird and best just left alone, and plus, it’s the best thing on earth for cancer and lost of other really awful stuff, so….
It’s announced that his official stance is that of zero tolerance.
And driving home, with all of this swirling, thinking that it is very odd, when all is said and done, that we have set it up to be a punishable offense to fish a stream without a government permit, but I can get pregnant just as often as I want and just be as tilty weird with them as I want. What is that about? Why all the rules, why all the rules?
Why are the really big areas, the revolutionary ones, left alone, free of regulation, for the most part? It’s just the start of the revolution they see they have a shot at staunching. But those who need to come in will come in, and those who just want a whiff, just a faint breath of this amazing thing we have going on, they do that, and everyone wins. Why the rules? And why the lack of rules? It really doesn’t take much of a genius to figure it out. Just feel your body and ask your self the question, and out pops the answer. Simple.
But, let’s be fair, and much more practical about this.
Isn’t it because we needed the rules? Don’t we need these stupid rules because some people act as if they have no sense? They act unkind to the environment, to themselves, to their families. They take love for granted and do not hold a grateful heart. They are mean and selfish and petty. They act violently. They are incontinent of speech, of action, of thought, of emotion. They don’t have a grip on themselves, and they do dumb things. It’s all part of the karma, but it’s sort of a pain in the ass. And, really, to be honest, many are presently the ones in charge of we, the meek and humble of this earth. Quite a pickle indeed.
Don’t we need these rules because, as a people, one by one, individually, we abdicated personal responsibility and instead agreed to let a small group have, wield and manage the authority, the responsibility, for the lot of us?
If there is a rule in place, then I don’t have to encounter this issue as new every single god damned time. Ah… the relief I feel when I realize a short cut in this life, something where I don’t have to reinvent the wheel every single time, doing something, thinking something up or buying something that solves an eternal problem around the house. How fun is that? It takes a lot of effort to not get the hang of things the first time… It’s why I have some steadfast rules, never to be broken, not many, but a rule about always hanging the keys up.
For instance, no one touches my wallet. My ID must remain in the main console of the car. My stethoscope must always be with my clipboard. We must eat hot food once a day. It’s not because I’m arule-boundd jerk. It’s because if I don’t do it, things don’t work as well. They are short cuts, they are rules, and they are awesome. But I chose them, from all the choices in the world, because they work for me. I do not expect for you to follow my rules, or even think a lot of them.
And if you tell me the rules you live by, I’ll bet I might find thing in yours that I want to trade up to. See how that works? If we all are really responsible for our own rules, we know what it is that works for us, and what we feel called to do, that which holds integrity and light for us, and we do that. That’s how rules are supposed to work, I think, so when I see all the eyes in the skies and all the gotcha-police-vans, and the militarized police, I just think we have really lost our way as a people, and have gotten so comfortable with not making our own weird rules, and letting some bully tell us what the rules are, that we just sort of fell asleep at the switch.
But rules are good. They’re a short cut. They help me stay organized.
I think this addiction we currently have, this love affair we have, with placing ultimate authority without, all these rules, really need to be in context. At one point, the government was our friend. And don’t mock me for that statement. It is the truth. After World War II, are you kidding me, we were so in love with ourselves.
Two generations ago, the grown ups were just settling into suburban life after having their consciousness expanded by a horrific world war. JFK, RFK and MLK hadn’t been gunned down yet. The hippies were still in junior high.
And then came the other stuff. Watergate, all the things which showed the ones who were paying attention that it was all coming apart at the seams, it was madness, right there, every night, on the TV. We were disintegrating, into what, who knew, but, we, the hippies who are now in their fifties, we grew up wearing silver bracelets with a name of a POW on it. Mine was the last to come home. We, each of we pre-pubescent girls, held these POW’s on our wrists, in our hearts, and many never returned.
And at holidays and Sundays, there sat the family, the ones who wouldn’t talk about World War Two, and World War One, and The Great Depression and Nam. Everyone sitting there in their horror. All the guys anyway.
And there we were. Thinking war was just so dumb, just not even worth arguing about, really, but many of us studied that era and identified with the protesters. Many of us were not too impressed with the hippies. High marks for creativity, equally high marks for self destructive tendencies and too much self loathing and self doubt. So self conscious. But good, solid first attempts at thinking outside of the box, the clarion call, that summer of love, was it ’68? I was seven.
So. I grew up liking Fleetwood Mac, punk, new wave, my life was a soundtrack. All of our lives. We always had the radio on. I think even then we knew we were lonely.
So, here we are, needing rules, finding that, maybe from all the shockwaves and craziness, we put too much reliance on this benevolent father state, abdicating responsibility.
But, come on, let’s be honest about this. What am I hinting at? Responsibility for what?
For remembering just who we are and why we are here.
And all that this implies.
We needed rules then, and rules can be great for making daily life more streamlined.
And I think part of this is just realizing that we have built a shitty office system, and somebody should come in and gut it, maybe, and then reorganize this thing. Some old broad who’s seen it all, seen all those arrogant bosses come and go, wand who knows what this company has always been capable of, but the company had no one who understood it, who could talk to it, and who could tame it. This big monster of an office, so much happening all at once. But someone like that!
Because, as it stands, no one can find anything, some of the older, established office urchins are into stealing and nepotism and weird sex, and it just isn’t working. So let’s just say, god, this place is a mess, and admit we let it get pretty bad here, and there needs to be some sort of reckoning, making things right for everybody who has had to work in this horrible place.
Extend the metaphor, please. Just whole sections of laws can be abandoned, any law that legislates interpersonal sexual behavior, reproduction, and any/all drug use, that would be a good place to start.
But, then comes the voice of reason.
We aren’t there yet.
You are different. You are ready, and they aren’t.
So, the rest of the drive home was a study in dissonance.
The walk up to the apartment, the coffee preparation ritual, all of it, disturbed by a cranky, blood-red dissonance.
I have done a ton of life review (after four or five years of refusing to, I have recently gone through what feels, still, like thousands of old, unbound photographs, babyhood having been mixed in with nursing school days and marriage and all of it… a nice metaphor, actually, for living in a multidimensional state.,..), and then this koan, and then, I must admit, I have already gotten my answer, but I am struggling against it like a fish in a net.
Here is the answer, gotten well before I was even halfway home from the day’s first errand: your DNA is on, theirs isn’t. Now is when you wait, and you gently go around doing what you usually do, but you shoot for as many acts of love, generosity, respect, happiness, stillness, that you can muster, while you wait. That’s it. Pretty simple. It’s just the DNA doing its thing, combined with your willingness, and all the cosmic stuff that’s going on. It’s just time.
Now, this is just a statement of fact, and it is the great equalizer, this DNA.
It takes the merit right out of spiritual achievement. There can be no inherent competition, and therefore merit, in a way, because it is just THERE… we all have it, we all have just the very same set up. So, I am not different. I am just the same as anyone.
See this craziness?
I am different. No. I am just like everyone. How can I be different if I am the same as everyone?
The answer, my love, my dear reader, is DNA.
You may wonder why I think that Kryon and my group, The Teachers, are part of the same group. But consider this. Twenty years ago, The Teachers would go on and on about DNA. It just never stopped. And I really need to sit with that, because much of that information I have been unable to “remember” quite yet.
But, Kryon knows. Kryon slipped into my reality and blew the door off about five months ago. He delivered an entire book on DNA.
And this explains everything. It fills in the blanks. It gave me a road map of sorts, memories.
I will now tell you something that is highly ironic, very humorous, I think.
I know, reading this stuff, that I am a force to be reckoned with. I have not gotten the nibbles I have wanted, because I am still thinking too small. This perspective really does help me at this point, and is free of any egoic need to feed the Better Than Beast. Anyone who has read me knows that I know my own darkness, my own lack of worth, like nothing else. I know my unworthiness, have embraced it and allowed it to sustain me for five decades.
So if you think for one minute that what I say to you in these blogs is to brag, I would say that I think that you probably haven’t read a lot of them, or maybe sat with them, if you have read them, and I might think that you would probably benefit from getting in touch with your issues, coz they’re right there, bro. I’d understand, and know that you were very much trying to help in your very own way, in a good way, and it’s good to see you again.
I am just like you.
But I am different that most of you.
Not better than. Not less than. Not more than. Not smaller than. Different from.
Here is why:
We all come in with Divine DNA. Each of us is a Creator God, once our Divine DNA is fully online. To have all twelve layers of your DNA at 80, 90%? It would be impossible for you to think that such a human is anything less than divine. Hooked in. Wide open. Powerful beyond 3d comprehension. A master. A saint.
And it has nothing to do with being deserving. With asking permission from another. With being given permission by another. With being educated. With being holy or knowing chants or holding a certain political or religious or philosophical or cultural system of belief.
It is within every cell of our bodies, connecting continuously to The Beyond, to The Kingdom, to Adamis, to The, what are the kids calling it these days, something gross, like “The Primary Node.” Come on, we can do better than that, I think.
But, this is the thief in the night.
This is what is referred to when they talk about, and lo, it comes upon you as a thief in the night. When have you woken up, from a night of maybe even dreamless sleep, but you just feel different. You notice you are thinking a little different, just overall. Have you noticed that? A thief in the night, baby.
Of course, this all is not just because we are very clever, which, of course we are. The light or energy or whatever is just pouring in, has for quite awhile now, streaming through all of us, whether we like it or not, getting more complex and sparkly All. The. Time., because we all have earned it. We all have earned all this sparkliness. And it’s right there, just for the taking. You just have to know what to look for. And you have to like sparkly things.
Humanity is functioning using the chemical portion of the DNA, the first three layers, or the first two strands, and that is it, and that is just fine. It’s what everything functions with, and it is adequate. It is fed, the whole thing, of course, with love, and is benevolent in intent and in the end, but that’s where things sort of begin and end, with an appreciation of oneness with nature and all that. It’s good and right, and functioning in good alignment. It’s rote spirituality, complete disinterest or even sort of an allergic reaction to this sort of thing.
It was mind blowing to hear that there are some ancients who are choosing this allergic reaction, although they could be standing head and shoulders among us right now. They are staying behind, and they are so needed. But they are deep in the lie of it all, and many are the angry ones, the inconsolable. So it’s sort of dumb to judge the percentage someone is switched on at. Do you see now why I have a problem with this possible dispensation? But, I am getting ahead of myself.
And there is more.
There is so much more.
Our DNA is sort of like this cosmic overlay of God, and as such, it must be understood that chemically, structurally, physically, emotionally, with thought and with deed and with lust and grace and humor and impatience and bad habits and all of our silliness, we are GOD. It is an incontrovertible fact, and yet it cannot be proven to someone unwilling to consider it.
And it sort of makes your brain hurt to think about it all that often, for all that long, especially right at first, and I’d say that’s where I am. I likened it to gargling with uranium filings, accepting this divinity thing. I feel as if there is some sort of chemical (or crystalline?) sheath which blocks that final getting it aha moment. You’ve had the, too. Those moments where time stands still and you finally GET something, something profound and important and pertinent and beautiful and full of love and forgiveness for yourself. Have you had that? It is part of the process. That’s the DNA talking.
Once you tell it to switch on, once you state full, true intent to turn on, to get this show on the road, with the energy we have streaming to us now, the purity of the help and information is so astounding and the veil is so slippery thin, it doesn’t take much to let it all come pouring in.
now I see why I was thinking I might want to consider just being the bigger man and doing the Ernest Holmes thing so I can be a preacher.
Last couple of weeks, the sermons have been very inviting, very very sparkly. More of a dare than anything else, I think.
I have gotten through many of the activations. I am switching on.
And I’m way, way, way below that wildly Lemurian 80, 90%, obviously. Obviously.
But then again, how Lemurian can you be in the middle of all the fucking nonsense most people don’t even notice at this point?!
But I am switched on.
This need that I have always known, to know more, to go further, to finally put it all together, well, I always told myself that just because I have the need justifies following it. If I didn’t have the thought, the need, then I wouldn’t need to do it, but because I thought it up, and it keeps bugging me, whatever that is, whether it be the police state or why people have such bad manners anymore, or why my dad acts like he does or what a cat might think, or how nice it is seeing my future is making my past a happier one, or, who am I and why and I here, or why must this still hurt so much sometimes, well, these thoughts are valid, just because they are being thought. That’s always what I’ve thought, anyway.
And then I come to find, through my Other Teachers, Kryon, that this is a DNA layer. This need to know God. We all have it, even the ones who shut me down like I have leprosy, yep, even them, they’re lousy with it too.
Because, really, each of us is also lousy with the karmic overlays we wanted to have play out, and so we are confronted with problem after problem, unanswered prayer after unanswered prayer. And it’s through directly confronting these things as the creators of the dramas that we indeed are, do they quiet down. Pure and simple. And you get to know that this is a demon forever slain, and everyone gets a permanent cosmic hug out of it.
That’s how it works. And we set it up this way. And we called these stupid rules, all this regulation and puffed-up-ness and arrogance, all this unbalance, as some sort of weird psychodrama, maybe,to finally, fully get to the place, through fear and horror, a lot of the time, at first, unfortunately, that if I am mean to you, if I cheat you or lie to you, I am lessening myself as a person. It becomes a physical sensation, and it is very unpleasant. It becomes something that is avoided. We set it up to figure out how to be our own authority, I think, is a big part of it.
So, that’s good.
And that DNA book of Kryon’s it was helpful, there are pictures, and there is lots of history, and lots of very fond memories within those pages.
See, I decided when I was with The Teachers that the only thing that sounded like any fun at all was to go ahead and activate all twelve layers, if things turned out correctly (that was our purpose, to help things turn out correctly, by being taught) and switch on my Merkahbah. I decided what sounded like the most fun would be to go all the way, and then to actually get all lit up, but then to insist on coming back and live among people and just be this cool person who helped out and got along with everybody and taught everybody how to be nice to each other. And was rich. And sort of famous, but in a really really good, outstanding, uplifting, clean sort of way. And I’d be the sort of people needed to be around, just because I always felt so good, and I never met anyone who wasn’t a long lost friend. Sort of like a Buddha. I’d do the fireball if I could then be this innocent master, preferably a dude, an old one, just wandering the earth, being nice and being just insanely rich.
And after a time, I would develop an ashram, up in Leadville, and it would be at the base of the mountain that I have come to know I inhabited right before this incarnation, just so I would always know how good it was to be of the Earth, how holy and beautiful the Earth is, and also so I would always have a home,
And there I would make a home for myself and for anyone who would be kind to me and tolerant of themselves, and we would make great things there because we would have deep love, and we would be one with each other and all by ourselves, always with the cosmos, there at every humble meal, teaching each other and learning new things, calling to us all travelers, all teachers, all beauty, all divinity, to dine with us, to sleep with us, to talk with us, to whisper prayers to us, and we would find joy and pleasure in entertaining guests, and also in leaving for a while and going to teach and to grow, then retuning.
No one owns the land, or each other, or their work. We live in peace and we are happy because we are in peace, balanced, in harmony, and free, now to create, but the whole world comes to us and recognizes our infinite, continuous, holy contribution we make to the grid by living in love. And I like to be among big people, and so I know others who have birthed these ashrams, and we get together and make each other food and make sure we have everything we need, and we tell each other great stories, and we laugh a lot.
And I talk in front of huge crowds and it seems to help people, and that always makes me happy, but my favorite times, when I am on the road, is the little coffee shops, especially when it’s raining, and when I am alone, with a nice waitress and a good radio station, where I am alone, but with all my friends, sitting there with me at that diner, just happy that it worked out so well for everyone involved, and that now is the time I am giving me the experience of being heard, just for fun, just for fun, and finally what is coming out is something folks, lots of folks, want to hear, finally they are moved by it.
And I tear up then, knowing that this is what I always wanted, really, just to be in company, being heard finally, so very grateful for the work inherent in the ability to sit still and listen. For the body to have to experience of finally knowing, having this funny thing called incontrovertible proof, a miracle, if you will, that what I have to say has value and worth, and it is as beautiful to others as it always, always always is to me. Like a wandering, touring Leonard Cohen.
I am so blessed, because as I write it , I already have it, and now, every time I am low or I forget, and this world again becomes a place that is dirty and sad and unfair, sometimes, it seems, knowing it is still possible to slip into such a silly-sad amnesia, I can remember, because I wrote this, that the time is coming when even those thoughts of sadness and separation will just not be available, will be a shadow, will be something I think of like in Radio Man, thinking on his sweating, uncomfortable twelve year old.
As long as I am alive, even if I ever do become some kind of ashram person, I will always know of a terrorized seven-year-old, a seventeen-year-old filled with so much shame she became a twisted shell, for a time, of what she never thought she could become, I’ll always know what it’s like to be actively suicidal, to be on a locked psych ward, to have a head injury, to be fired repeatedly, to be addicted, to be alcoholic, to be a sloppy housekeeper, in debt and on the very very very fringes of polite financial society, ambivalent to this day about her sexuality, and finally, finally, finally, definitely and 100% fearless, and therefore free, I remain to the disinterested a formerly pretty mixed up undecorated, unrecognized, unrealized grunt nurse, still wiping asses and passing pills, at this age, at 52.
So don’t think I am some holy saint, even I know what I was doing when I was telling you of where I went with The Teachers is a prophesy that will, indeed come to pass, and that has, indeed, already come to pass, it’s an alternate reality just as hard core real as this one, well, that’s not me channeling, necessarily (or is it?). At this point, I am most comfortable saying instead THAT JUST IS THE DNA TALKING.
So I am not all that special, you see.
Now, I told you at the beginning that I feel I have have a number of activations, or are they expansions? Are they they expansions The Teachers always referenced?! Interesting! It’s not a pissing contest, and it doesn’t matter, and I invite you to be real skeptical of people who want to read your percentage. Kryon says this is a dispensation, but I sure hope it is only given to a couple of people at first. This is holy stuff, and needs to be seen as the miracle it is. It should come through like that, some average Joe who can do something, and it’s fun and quirky, with lots of rewards, and just the right amount on tension. But something obviously and unquestionably holy and life altering, being able to scan someone and know the whole scoop, where they are in their layers, how things are looking, what words or tomes would move things along… Just some doofus…
Or is that a screenplay?
I have a gut feeling, and I have had a variety of confirmations, that I am more and more switched on, but to say that I have all twelve humming, nah, I think that if that ever does happen to me, I don’t think I’d let on anyway. I just don’t think it’s cool to crow about this stuff. Just like I think it’s sort of gross to presume to heal someone. That one has always really bothered me, seems like an exercise in self gratification. But, then, I have been healed by people. I really do admit that there have been certain teachers, certain friends, certain words said by a stranger, sometimes, that have healed me. Really, truly, permanently healed me.
Haven’t there been times for you when you have been so out of balance, so broken down, so freaked out and scared, maybe, so hurt and bloodied and defeated, maybe, and there, arms extended, smiling, clean and totally calm, would wade my healer, into the madness, and just quiet me right down. Now what is that, if not healing?. Whether it was The Teachers or my old therapist, or a kindness my mom showed me, or a promotion that I could easily handle, or Jesus himself, there stood my healer. So I know this is some sort of overlay to ensure I don’t get a big head, this thing I have against healing, but I think I makes me a little bit of a jerk sometimes, sort of unfeeling. Sorry about that.
So there you go.
I don’t think that I included in that whatever-it-was that lies above, about, while working with The Teachers, how does the actual ascension process happen? A lot of this was coded in talking about earth changes, although those admonitions were also very helpful, and finally becoming much more relevant…
I would ask, you know, how will I know? What will it be like? I want to practice because I don’t want to have it come on me and not know how to behave. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, I can remember, so vividly, thinking and pleading. I want to be in the right spot. I want to be able to hear so good that I won’t get interference when I am told where to go and what to do.
That was a big deal, with my work with them. Getting so clear that anything can blow right through you, you are simply unaffected. That is the final achievement. That is proof that you have done all of your work. People can be screaming at you, and their rage can be totally appropriate, and it just blows right through you, no need to defend, no need to argue, no need, no need, just let it drip off you like water off a duck’s back. Not about you. Never was.
They said that is a hallmark of someone who has their DNA in the activation process, they are getting lit up, or you’re there. I forget.
And these things get their start in small things. In synchronous events, little mercy bombs, little aha moments, when you have your breath caught, when you finally, finally start getting clear on a couple of things, and the first thing seems to be that everything, everything, absolutely everything is made of and is fed by and a product of love. Oh! Such love. And maybe it hits you in the form of Mother Mary in a dream, or while praying after hearing your best friend just died, but you just know that you are loved beyond what you ever thought you could, even now, even her, with this on my heart, and maybe instead it’s through the brilliance of a mathematical feat, it matters not, but the light starts streaming in, and it starts because YOU LET IT!
You don’t reach those peaks, or, sometimes, those, depths, that produce such profundity without some back story. That just makes sense, hence, karma. Karmic overlays. Cosmic agreements. Contracts. Call it what you want. It’s the set up. The problem. You see?
Now, some people get so good at the problem, the puzzling part, and get so distracted, that they never let their guard down, and start looking for the gifts within the problems they keep presenting themselves. They take everything real serious, and believe that this stuff can hurt them, and that we really do die, and we really are very, very fragile, and everything is very, very dangerous. Unsolved puzzles make you nervous.
And, it is very true, that, for many very valid and beautiful beautiful, lovely reasons, some folks who are way more than ready to burst out of the DNA cocoon choose not to. I don’t feel pity. That’s wrong. I don’t hold fear, either. It’s not my job to switch people on. It just isn’t. If you are ready, you seek it out. It becomes an addiction of sorts. No one just stumbles on this work, my dear.
If you are always unhappy, you are getting switched on. If you are deep in your mystery, the bottom has fallen out, nothing makes sense, you are getting switched on. The ones who turn away, life’s good, things are great, those are the ones who are gonna get a smack in the ass here pretty soon. Because the light is catching up to people, and it’s quite a shocker if you have chosen to be really mad at god, or really disbelieving in divinity, or are just real disinterested. Those are those ones who aren’t going to have much fun.
Think of a full moon, OK?
During a full moon, there are those who come into ER’s with knife wounds and bombed off limbs, and there are those who get paid to be on shift at some insane hour of the morning.
Think of it that way. I don’t think an Er nurse or doc, especially a night shift one, especially in a hard place to live or practice, is a saint or a guru or some sort of stupid master. A rock star, yes, Definitely a m.f’ing rock star. But no saint.
But the DNA wake up calls are intricately planned, by you, while you are sleeping and before your birth, and they enter this reality though synchronicity. If you allow it in, and you start looking for it, and you tell people who think you are dumb or nuts or crazy, you tell them to shut up, because you are doing a science experiment, god damn it. You are testing out a hypothesis, using the scientific method, so back off, mister. And then burp, if you want. Butch it up. A science experiment. Innocent, sort of manly.
OK, so try it out. Just start seeing things in terms of synchronicity. It is an awesome way to live. It’s how you speak The Third Language, you see? Let it take you over, and the rest is a snap. If there is no synchronicity, then, unless you are being “told” to do it, just don’t do it. Simple. Everything gets real simple, once you know which voices in your head you really ought to just go ahead and trust. Saying no, that’s easy, because it’s not very necessary, so when it comes up, there is a lesson attached, so pay attention, and oh! There it is. Even if I totally blow the lesson, then I do the lessons attached to the fuck up, and then everything is ok.
But, just what is synchronicity? It’s when something just happens that shouldn’t, or that you didn’t expect, or you knew it was going to happen as it was happening, if that makes sense. It is deja vu, I suppose, although I think that is when we are having an insertive encounter with a future self, a moment of soul significance of some sort, but usually the significance flies right by us. But, still, that is synchronous, I suppose. But it’s the little things. More of these little things happen the nicer you are to people. More stuff happens. You get more invitations, more stories, more everything, if you’re decent and nice to people, and are not resentful, I’ve found. Consider it a work around. But, it’s when you are surprised.
You know its opposite, because like negative entropy, it sucks you in. That weird tilty sort of synchronicity when one by one things just go terrifically, if-it-weren’t-so-awful-this-would-be-absolutely-hilarious series of events. They would sort of come on me all at once, and it would suck so much. I remember saying, during one of these spells of weirdness, “Well, ok, then. My lesson is, this cannot get any worse.” Of course, you know what happened.
It’s just not that hard.
I thought my way out of distress because I have the aptitude for such things, and an innate skill. It’s a hobby of mine, really.
And I haven’t really talked about God all that much. Most of it is just getting into a certain mindset, and then the God stuff sort of takes care of itself. It becomes pretty ridiculous to think of God as some dude who has his finger out, wagging it at me for something I did. Fuck you. So what. I made a mistake. It’s not the end of the world. Get a grip on yourself, for Christ’s sake. Go have a smoke. Jesus.
So, it really is up to you. I cloaked it in all this God stuff for all that time, oh my god, years of the most religious, and sacred, and ancient, and holy stuff, and it all brought me peace when I needed it, even my fundie days, deep into the mystery of modern day christ, and it’s all good, but just check the tone of this thing to anything I have ever written. Can you feel it?
You are reading the journal of an evolving master, just as plain as mashed potatoes, just exactly like you, with the same regrets and uncomfortable situations, and if I can do this shit, so can you. Why should I have to do all the heavy lifting? It’s about time I had some help. At least that’s how I feel, once in a while. I really don’t say that in anything but all humility, but what else would you call it? What else is this, if not mastery?
Just tell me, and I’ll consider it. I will. Because I know I have hit some sort of plateau now, all of a sudden while writing this, things are just getting clearer and clearer. Now, I still have all the stupid problems I always have, and I still don’t have a cent, but these things now feel very small and easy to fix. And being within the whole thing, it means using cleverness and also using some common sense. Why not call these great people to me, the ones I am convinced, have “heard” will be helping me, in this one very tasty reality I entertain. I think it make sense to do my own science experiments.
I think I will call to me those people of light I think are my family. I’ll imagine that web I know we are all tapped into now, and I’ll just put out a signal. I guess maybe that’s what this is. Synchronicity, right?
And why not, in the meantime, get nicely dressed, finish that resume, go print it out and go to that job fair. If not this, you must have the resume done today, and you must, must hit the bricks. Do you really feel it necessary to do the cosmic 2×4 again? Really? Let’s keep this thing at a low boil, not overcook again.
You need a day job. You got the robomessage about it this job fair right after you got off the phone with Jerry. He’s leaving in June to go see Rhode Island. You, um, hey, you NEED to do that today. Don’t ignore this one, ok?
There are no accidents, and really very few surprises, once you learn how to just be quiet and listen. Figure out you aren’t in charge, someone smarter than you, who knows you in all your incarnations and is plugged into the godhead, that’s the one who’s in charge. Just start talking to it. It’s you.
Especially if you get quiet enough to listen to the dialogue, always there, in the background, always always there.
“There are no accidents, Guido,” that got us laughing so hard, back in high school, but honest to god, even then, just like you who are reading along at this point, then you are just like me, and you are on your path but you are far along, and I say hi to you now, just to you, and am with you and wishing you good cheer. We knew the joke was funny and sad because it is true, so true, and everyone ignores it. Therein lies the beauty, the poetry, the metaphor of a simple joke. And you and I, we understand such things. We have waited a long time to be able to think clearly, and you and I know something which must be honored here, at the end, here where only the ancients would have the patience and wisdom to be led.
Here in this, our deep, familiar forest, our noses filled with that deep woody snap of earth and sunlight, but not too much, just glittering, sparkly ribbons of light, and giant trees, big ones, the old ones, we have been here a long time, you and I, apart all this time, because of the way things were, in the fog, we couldn’t meet like this, couldn’t hail each other.
We still did, and we knew all along we were all being hailed, but, oh, the fog was so thick, so dense, didn’t you, oh, didn’t you think, just for a moment there, that you might die? So laughable, now, so funny, looking at each other, at how ancient and strong and true we are, stronger than ever, more impossibly unknowable and wonderfully , humbly accessible all at once.
And we look deeply at The Other. And each of us has a faint shadow of something familiar, like the faint pluck of a string, ah, yes, there it is, out of joint, a little sad, just missing it, oh, just , just , ah, now the lull, and now, we are back. Yes. I remember. But the fog has cleared now, and see,
We trees, we old ones, we the ones who know the old path, the old way, the way of honor and of truth, of true freedom, true integrity, true honesty, openness in character and in mind, we are the ones who understand what we are doing here, and are beginning to remember what we are capable of. As we light up, the others will be able to do so easier, because we have come so far. This is the meaning of being part of The First Wave. This is the ascension path, the path of the ones in the first wave. We do it because we are rebels and are usually quite bored, and like a challenge. We like puzzles. So what, it hurt. It did. And the bad stuff was well scripted and very convincing, and bravo to all the villains, and it’s time to just be still, be done with it all. Be still.
So what we do, when we go as far as we do, we are accessing the divinity, and getting lit up. Each layer of the multidimensional layers of our DNA, 4-12 in Kryon’s verbiage, but whatever, all this “junk DNA” is divine, each is part of the whole, and would get sparked, fed, at least it happened for me, when people were nice to me. I felt a spark of divinity. I’d scripted it so I’d had very very little, or it was always associated with pain. So when it came just whole and without strings, wow, it just set of gongs for me.
You may have had a completely different blueprint. But it just doesn’t matter.
So, I think of it this way, you and I, we are no different than anybody else. It’s just that, we have gone a little farther into the weirdness than most people are hardwired for.
I’ll leave you with this. It came to me as I was parking the car.
All this nether world physics DNA sciency waking up, I think it’s the real deal. It is the path to ascension. But it is absolutely individual, and I think it is abundantly clear that there are certain people with more interest, and, it turns out, these are the ones with a little more aptitude and skill than the average bear. It’s just part of the package, the older you get. But understand this, please.
Skill is not aptitude.
Aptitude is not skill.
There are those who don’t want their brain to hurt, and those who don’t mind the work out. It’s fun. And it’s we who understand that all aptitude, and all skill, they are just little just trinkets, just toys, without the sort of benevolent dispensation we have been given, some of us, due to nothing but our innate stubbornness and willingness to do everything just weirder, in the end, than anybody else in the room. The identified weird one in the room. And by that I mean it is pretty well understood that I have been touched, within my family unit. Maybe it’s that way with you. But all that is, this being touched nonsense, is raw passion for the divine. Just being on fire for and with the love of god. We call it different things, and it comes in a lot of weird packages. But there it is. That’s what it is. What we love is what makes us divine, because to love is to know divinity. Everything is just a pathway to getting tender enough with ourselves to realize such simple facts!
We who have always just had all this stuff at the tip of our tongues, driving us freaking crazy, we have been tolerated. And some of us have been nurtured and all of us have been nourished, and you know what I mean by this. We have been given great gifts because of our aptitude and because of our skill, but, really, mainly, because of our need, our eagerness, our being driven by something we knew was probably just one thought away, one breath away, someday soon. What else makes sense, after all? We came in ready for this shift. The shift is all.
The Teachers didn’t get too specific about things, but what they did say about the MerKahBah (how the hell you you say that?) is that it is a spinning thing, it’s all about the spin. I was allowed to feel the first two layers consciously, and I have been haunted ever since, hungry for it.
They told me that is why a lot of old souls are heavy drinkers, and some succumb to homelessness, they give themselves over to it and become masters of it, and it is the spin. That spin you get right before you pass out. That spin is a weak but apt simulation of the merkahbah,our merkabah’s spin. We get lonely for it. Who wouldn’t.
It brings me delight thinking about masters all over the world, spinning their asses off, drunk as hell, their lives a wreck, nothing making sense, all of it fading into noise that just then thankfully, weirdly, disappears. You can’t hear. And then, there it is. It gets real quiet, the kind of quiet you feel right before a really bad storm or a tornado, and then there it is… that old friend, the drunken spin once again hails you and you go spinning in a lurching, unskilled, sort of way, all over the room, and then into blackness, finally, again, the stupor, the blackness. That was always like the magic prize for me. I loved blackouts. Probably explains why I can’t remember people’s names anymore.
So I guess with the merkahbah, there are spins and counter spins and you have to become able to master the spins, and there are all these octaves and frequencies and all this scientific crap that I, evidently, never learned very well, and pretty soon, the spin just overwhelms you, and then you are everywhere and nowhere, part of the all. Or something like that. They told me you turn into light, and that’s your light body, and you can go anywhere, and here things are on grids, but the grid points take you anywhere at all, and it’s all from the activation of the merkabah, which is the full activation of the DNA, in other words.
But there was something about coming back, but maybe they misspoke, or maybe I misheard, because a heck of a lot of very interesting things have happened, and I get it in my head that maybe I have come a really really long way, oh my, I am just such a jewel, shining so bright, and, woe is me, I’m ever so advanced that I will never ever fit in with nice people, wah wah wah, and then I compare it to those spin stories, or the Elisha story, or the Jesus story, and I begin to think of myself as a big boastful, slob, but then common sense comes over, and I think that really, I pretty much, anymore, act like some sort of really nice hippie, who is totally harmless. That’s pretty much how I come off at this point, I think. At least, I hope. That wouldn’t be so bad.
And so it goes, and so it goes.
I truly, as always, expect no one to read this. I wish I knew why. It’s the most honest thing I do, and will probably be something I’ll read again and again and again. But, for now, I feel just a touch of defeat, that no one reads this, that I have no one to hear me, and although it is nice, anymore, to just allow myself honest talk, really honest stuff, and it’s great that I’m getting my memory back, even though it happens in a weird glittery state I’m not quite comfortable with, I know I am blasting open the grid with these now. I know they are like a gospel. I was told that is what I am writing, and I told my ego to go to hell, to get thee behind me, satan. That’s just a horrible lie, and I am this unknown blogger.
And I like that I am emitting such pure unadulterated honest true stuff WAY under the radar and maybe even a little ahead of schedule. That I is my way. Always has been. I don’t jerk around.
And yet, I don’t get much response, just a trickle, and so what the ones who send me feedback don’t know is that their words, even if they are gruff or unfeeling, tell me that I actually was HEARD! This feedback is just so important to me, people really have no idea how it just still makes or breaks things for me, on one level. And like I said, this is a trigger for me, when someone gives just because they can, and it feels good. Wow. That just lights me up! And so these thoughts of defeat begin to look very petty and false, and thoughts of fame a symptom of some sort of issue I just need to finally cop to, just get it over with, since it is just driving me crazy these days, just awful living with this level of duality. It’s like a madness, I say. And still, to this day, I catch myself sometimes wondering why I believe any of this to have one whit of worth. Very few people read it. I haven’t marketed it. And why am I so married to this notion of being a lone wolf?
Even Alan had an awesome wolf pack, by a few scenes into the first movie. I’ll be Alan, wishing I was Phil, Ha!
So, although I know I have done something very, very good here, something that is going to stand the test of time, and come to be studied, probably, as always, at this point, I feel an unprotected raw edge, like I got caught in a rainstorm with a top that is now see thru, I just want to get home, and yet, it is 9:13am now, and I have a lot of crap to do.
I need to rest. I will rest, The work will get done. I need water and sleep. I will get up oh shit now it’s 10:49. I think it was made abundantly clear I need need to heed heed that directive to get my ass to that career fair. So I will post this,and I will do my work. Chop wood, carry water. Thank God for Jerry and for Sam. I think it is clear that they put me squarely in places I need to be. Otherwise, there would be no synchronicity, because I’d be here, plugging away at these stardust memories, out of context, maybe more lonely than before, maybe not, but different.
Certainly I would have become just atrociously eccentric. I probably would have gotten into those dolls that are freakishly human, and refer to them by name, as that lot does. Or maybe I would have finally just broken down and done the obvious, buy a rig and do the OTR thing. I’d be going crazy from all the regulation of the industry, all the counter intuitive stuff going on. Hell, there aren’t even hobo’s anymore. Not really. They jail hobo’s now. Stupid heads.
But I am just too prone to long journeys away while in my skin. Having them around helps me stay in context, helps me apply this stuff.
I leave you in love and gratitude for reading along. You are my forever friend, someone I know and love, for having done so.
And now you know why.
p.s. – I am done with this, and stretching in my seat, feeling wildly expansive in my chest, and I put my arms up in one of those Rocky poses and whisper yes, and look out the window.
And then I look down at my phone which reads 13:13.
And my thinking then went like this:
13:13, 4+4, 8 Perfection in Manifestation.
Indeed a work of art, whether it goes unread or not. So, now we know the answer to that forest koan, at least. Cracked that little bastard.