Deeply Awake: HELP – LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK 9-20-12 By Kathy Vik

Image result for darkened room gif



How is this possible?


I have been awake, fully awake and conscious, since January 25, 2012. I have been studying, remembering, meditating, networking, exploring, and, most, lightening up.


And here I am in the dark.


I had a traumatic experience a week ago, and I am still experiencing the fear which raged through my reality like a frightful tsunami. I feel its diminishing waves brushing the peace I have come to know.


Yesterday, in an effort to find peace, I went to my guru who gave me a conscious reading, and then assisted me through deep hypnosis. For the first time in my life, I had a meaningful past life regression. I explored aspects of myself I did not know existed. I saw myself in four lives, each with quite discrete and simple lessons which were learned, experiences accumulated.


This “us versus them” feeling which now rocks me when I consider the police state we live in, that anger and terror I feel, well, I now know where that comes from. The all-or-nothing, do-or-die approach in the face of tyranny comes from a very specific set of circumstances.


I released all I could, bless and release, bless and release, bless and release. But there is residual. And this residual is causing me suffering.


I know I am divinely guided. I know that God will make a way where there is no way. But for the last week, my physical reality has intruded on my peace in ways I do not like.


I know I have spent these last 8 months on physical reality hiatus. And rightfully so. No one can overcome the grid without unplugging from it first.


Having to plug back into the extremely controlling and fear-based collective consciousness is nothing I want to do. I want to be over here, creating joy and freedom. I do not want to be there, wading through the limitations smaller minds and hearts have placed on us all.


This sense I have that the end is coming, that things will get much weirder before they get calm,, I think this is just more training. I can’t lose my sh*t now, over these relatively little things, when there may be far bigger disruptions and much grander acting out by the mutants coming our way.


How do I make community, and make peace, with monkeys who want nothing more than to control my behavior to satisfy their need for conformity and order? How do I remain creatively engaged in a reality which does not want me to pay too close attention to its machinations? How do I make peace with friends, family, co workers, who are so embroiled in their own pain that all they seem to be able to do is pass judgment?


You see now, I am a light worker who has temporarily gone dark. I know I am believing lies and giving into fear.


I need encouragement and words of hope. Can you help me???



Hi Magartha! I Think You


September 20, 2012, 4:13 pm
Hi Magartha! I think you have answered all of your own questions in your post! 🙂

I think now you just need to accept the ‘darkness’. We can’t always be in the light no matter how hard we try, we go in and out of both all the time and for different reasons. I have told myself that the dark is also the light that I must learn from.

Do you think if you hadn’t have gone into this dark state, that you would have been guided to learn about your past lives and bring them to the surface to deal with? Probably not. So take what you learned from that as a good thing.

I just had a thought. They say heaven is perfect and only the light is there, right? But then they also say as above so below. Well….if we have ‘evil’ and polarity and feuds etc. then that means the same also takes place in the spirit realm. So see….why try and create this perfect world of light when even the light isn’t/is perfect?

So just embrace it all…

Heather 🙂





September 20, 2012, 4:38 pm
you are a part of creation so even when dwelling in the midst of darkness you can choose to find a way to create light, to be a part of something better, to bring forth ideas and inspiration not from what you see in front ofy ou or what you have experienced but because you know within there is light. the darkness teaches us and gives us a point to create from – think how dark the womb is before birth – the darkness can be the fertile ground to create much new in your life.


Dark And Light


September 20, 2012, 4:52 pm
To quote Kryon… “Dark and light are clashing in a multidimensional way, and it is a classic one, like a game, where both teams appear to be pushing and pulling and you dont know who is winning or losing… and it is not as simple as not being afraid”….

Again… to quote from Kryon ” Know that darkness does not stand a chance … you have already won…. it is already done in our reality…. in your reality… it is upto you how long you want to take”…

Beautifully Said Heather


September 20, 2012, 4:54 pm
Magartha,I too have been going through what I call yet another dark night of the soul in these last three weeks,in and out of light and dark, battling my own demons so to speak,so know that you are not alone.
We are light and dark combined, but I think that it can be so easy to fear the dark and it insidiously hooks us into make us face our own fears.
Millenia of programming and experiences which reside within us…
For it too wants to be looked at so it can be released into the Light.
Just imagine the magnitude of this fear within you…and imagine who you will be when it no longer resides within you.
Imagine the space it will leave in your heart…and the beautiful light that is you which will take its place.
Change is happening very quickly within us now, this will soon pass.
Sending you love,light and healing.
: )

Cheer Up!


September 20, 2012, 5:40 pm
It is in the darkest moments that we shine the brightest! If it makes you feel better, know this, I tried to fire my HS the other day for being a g@#d%^N SOB. THAT is pretty freaking dark. But I came out of that experience Lighter and Brighter and you will too. (BTW-my HS just giggled at me and said I LOVE YOU DUDE)


RE: Help


September 20, 2012, 6:43 pm
I feel like it is growing pains as I am gaining in knowledge and sometimes I feel like I take one step forward and then 2 steps backward. I believe it is a daily process of understanding the truth and the untruth. I gain knowledge so I am able to discern truth more. I feel like I need to live my soul energy. I feel like I need to live from my soul and be my soul which is unconditional love and then I will hopefully master my mind, thoughts, words, feelings and actions. Maybe then I will become fully mature. I do not believe I am there yet but I have come so far now to ever go back. I am getting closer to bliss because I feel if my soul energy is very strong then my gifts will be strong and then I can help to change the world for the better and the future. We are immortal souls and we have the ability to reincarnate here in the future again. I would like the future Earth world to be amazing and good. I need to plant the seeds now for the future growth.
I understand what you mean about the ones who are in control and they believe in YOLO or you only live once. This is what the younger generation is being taught. I would like to teach them about reincarnation, the soul, cause and effect and intent and about being spiritually enlightened. I do not want to sell my soul because I am able to be brainwashed by someone of selfish intent. I believe I do have choices. When I hear people spouting hate on the tv about others countries etc then I know there is a hidden agenda and I wonder how these people will live after they die and they are faced with a shocking reality in another dimension which is horrible. Maybe I am thinking that prevention is the best cure to what ails us. I tune out all of the negative selfish energy. We are all unique in our struggles but we can learn from each other even if the agenda is dark. I feel like there are so many creative solutions to the problems of ignorance and that is knowledge and truth seeking. I can honestly say that it gets better over time and if I stay on the truth seeking path then I know I will be able to change things for the better. I feel empowered at those times when I start taking action after I have rested.
When I feel like my energy is getting low then I sleep and rest as much as possible because this will energize me. I try to focus on positive music and soothing environments and all the things that bring a smile to my face. This year has been moving so fast for me in my ascension that I have been going through so much heartache but I am healing and it is getting so much better. I am trying to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses. My weakness is procrastination and I am fighting with that everyday. I let things hold me back from being the best I can be sometimes. I can be my own worst enemy in my mind. My soul always is loving and caring and amazing and I need to take care of my soul energy. Our soul energy keeps us strong and positive. I wish I could invent a machine or something that could charge up everyone’s soul because it is like a battery in that way. I go out into nature and I read a book or I just rest and relax and listen to nature. My soul likes that and gives me more energy.

shining in the love and light,


If You Can, Be In This World,


September 20, 2012, 8:32 pm
If you can, be in this world, not of it. Disengage emotionally from what is going on around you, see the fear that is the motivating factor and stand in a state of light radiating to illuminate those around you. There is no need to do anything else, or say anything. Understand that what you are working through is a lesson, we cannot know, understand and release an energy until we have learned the full experience from all aspects. Take any judgment out of the equation and stand in the light part of yourself, healing and protecting those aspects of self which are still holding onto fear, dig and find out why the underlying fear is generated, infuse with love and re-balance. Equinox tomorrow, the perfect neutral balance between all polarities, ideal time for working on this.
Love and Hugs,

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