The video I include was done the day after summer solstice of this year. I’d realized much and been visited, you could call it, though I see this now as simply further integrating, as incremental as it is.
I watched it after going far this morning. I’d like to explain.
I have come to this eclipse with the same sort of finality as described with the solstice, and actually with some other events and days I’ve had while waking up. It’s a finality that is not from my mind, it’s from somewhere bigger, cleaner, more gentle and wise.
I know my writing, my breaking free, focused on the lower agreement field, as I call it, and there is a horrible sense of self-identification some may experience while watching. Others may look on feeling pity that I’m putting myself through such pain, oh my so unnecessary, blah blah blah.
I did this for me, and I did for you. I wouldn’t have done it just for myself. I did it because somebody had to, and I was eager, willing, able, truly dialed in for this since before birth.
The thing is, this morning, during this amazing first day of the rest of my life as an embodied, merged, integrated, coherent and conscious star being from Source, I realized on her bed this morning that had my life taken a different expression in my youth, I still would have pursued my nursing career.
The writer who walked around silenced and moody and sullen was so only because she didn’t understand, couldn’t accept, sometimes, that her time was yet to come.
Her time began in March of 2012,and her pen couldn’t have moved the energetic mountains it has and will continue to move any sooner. Just, well, I’m shrugging. I see this new life, this merged reality as beacon, now. A reality. A completion. And it has been sending out pings, my personality structure and biology unable to do anything but come closer, breathlessly always closer, my only true soul desire. I see that I had always thought I was pinging into the void and not getting pings back. How funny to realize it’s been quite the opposite.
Anyhow, I know I got bitchy and fed up and frustrated, mostly, to be honest, with myself, my own stubbornness, my perceived stupidity and masochism. But this has passed. Through the night it came.
At 3 I woke spontaneously, and was told to go outside in the porch. The long curtain wand that opens and closes my floor-to-ceiling bedroom window coverings broke in my hand yesterday morning. I had left the window open to the stars through the night. I hadn’t fixed it because I was told I needed to look outside, when the wand clattered to the ground. I shrugged and said ok. This morning I smiled. I love my innate obedience to this voice, this knowing, now.
I got the directive, but here’s the thing. I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. I went potty. I went back to bed. Restless. Knowing I needed to get up, but once again feeling that red hot stubborn resistance.
They came to me, then. I had been thinking, oh, you know, I can stay here in my bed and travel there. I don’t have to leave the comfort of my bed anymore.And I know that this is way of it, and my thoughts were true, that I didn’t really have to go outside to experience this moment. It is not a requirement, since there are no such things are requirements, not really, in a free will zone…and i knew that, sure, I’d be just fine not doing it. No harm, no foul.
But I realized very clearly, fully, suddenly, I was told, here’s the deal: sure, you don’t have to go out there. Not necessary. Sure. That is true. But there’s a reason for the nudge.
Imagine, please, dear one, that there is something out there that’s yours that you cannot get if you stay in your bed. You must ACT, and it’s time. They asked, why do this to yourself anymore, delaying your good, resisting what’s most natural, refusing to do that which makes sense to something deep within you that had never once less you astray, but caught you every time you were falling?
I thought on it, but not a whole lot.
I got up. I went outside. And I laughed out loud. After I saw her, then I went and got my full water bottle and a smoke, because I had seen myself out there in my huge white t-shirt, looking up, with a song playing, a smoke in my mouth, and my water being activated by the moon’s light, by the codes cascading from her. So I brought out my stuff, and my phone, and I played the song I kept hearing in my bones, our choir singing “I believe”.
What had greeted me as a reward for my act of faith, my act of self knowledge and trust in what guides me, what made me laugh out loud was this, way up high to the left, far outside of my field of vision had I stayed on my bed. This is her, at the time.
So, I sang and smoked and smiled. I held up my water bottle and looked through the water at the moon, knowing I’d then be drinking her. I saw the cloud around the moon, and understood the solar codes are still dispersed at night, but through a wildly beautiful soul, whose message and love I recognize and celebrate in the light of this new day.
I realize the eclipse hasn’t even happened yet, but what needed to occur with it has already come to pass. How elegant and easy this becomes.
I have done much healing and given much love, set many intentions and as I did, at the side of my bed this morning, in joyful tears, and surrender, release and joy, I’m home. I’m home. I’m home.
I was urged to watch that video, of mine, entitled “Home,” and it really was perfect for me in these pre-dawn moments. But then, on my way to listening to “A Special Graduation,” thinking it fun I’m finally understanding what that was and just what visited me, my attention was drawn to the video I am including. I think it was written for this event, and of course it was, I smile. It is, after all, a fractal reality, and it’s this that I’ve now seen, in pretty pictures but also in math and energy, and that’s soothed me just as much as and today, really.
So, I’m sending you peace today, I had to, before beginning my endeavors, ready now for my new life, knowing it’s finally time, wishing I’d bitched less and not taken it all to heart, and basking in soul-satisfaction that I did. For you, for my loved ones, those who walk with me and those who have chosen to walk apart, I offer you an energetic gift from my heart, a physical, spontaneous relief from anxiety and a release from believing anything but your own miraculous nature, and the cosmic game afoot. Peace, peace, peace.
I say from my heart, while feeling my own prayers for my loved ones, for my human family, and for myself when I say this day to you, Namaste.
As referenced, as celebrated on my morch. Love keeps lifting us ALL higher, baby…