DEEPLY AWAKE, EPILOGUE: “Arrival” By Kathy Vik 1-12-17
Uncanny, how things are working out, I think to myself, thinking now simply on the mechanics of the next several hours, how easy, how smooth, how pleasing.
But it goes far deeper, higher, it’s a widespread thing. It is this that is truly uncanny, and which has moved me to speak as Deeply Awake once again, bridging, now, for me, what I once was, and was capable, to what I have found myself as, now.
I call this an epilogue simply because I am no longer questioning myself, my judgment, my discernments, my feelings, my thoughts, and I am finding genuine pleasure and peace in my company within my thoughts and mind and soul. I can no longer considering linear thinking the only game in town. There is something much, much bigger at work here, and it is this that needs to be discussed today.
I can remember a few times, in the process, suddenly realizing how things work here, and how things are manifested. It is too hard to speak, but it is visual and a body thing, knowing that this white-noise chaos I am aware of contains within it all patterns, and it’s simply a matter, now, of choosing the patterns I like best, calling them down, and enjoying the hell out of how they come to pass.
So, the Deeply Awake I presented which was riddled with self doubt, blanketed by a thick sense of inertia and inability and unwillingness, this is the part of the Deeply Awake “process,” I guess, which has died off. Fallen off, really. It’s there. Right there, on the ground. No longer a part of me. It fell off. I can pick it up if I wanted to , but I don’t want to. It’s perhaps beloved, that thick understanding of suffering, but entirely foreign, at this point.
What do I mean by that?
I had a lovely evening last night that really soothed me, but it was a complex and surprising and wonderful conversation which left me, as always, once again, doing a postmortem on it, I noticed, immediately, as I drove away. I realized I was launching into the old pattern of feeling through all the ways I could have, should have, behaved in order to make people feel better, how I’d failed socially, how I had displeased and upset. It was weird, really, to see that play, because it was wholly and completely inappropriate to the situation. So out of joint, it was immediately seen, but, yeah, sure, I did that all the time. And last night, driving away, I realized that all of that stuff is optional and not real anyway. I chose a narrative that was true, pleasing, non-anxiety producing, and closer to reality than not. In essence, I told myself a benevolent story, one which was true. And this means, dear reader, that my native paranoia has passed, is passing. It means I see myself differently now. It means I approve of myself in a bulletproof way. Fireproof, that’s one of my nicknames, here on the blogosphere. Fireproof is right.
I mention it because that was only one in a continuous, now, series of synchronous events which defy logic in their seamlessness, perfection, simplicity, depth and genuine respect.
Driving home, rounding the curve to our apartment row, I was able to see it better, realizing just what is occurring, and what came to mind was an admonition, a guide, a prediction, that Kryon made in regards to what they call “the new human.” He said, get ready, guys. Soon, some of you are going to be shocked at how good things are going to get for you. Things are going to fall together and the people around you are going to be flabbergasted. Kryon said to expect and be ok with what other will most definitely “lucky streaks,” and that they would become something of a norm. It will leave the one generating tickled, but in utter balance and alignment with it all.
I’m home now, in a lull. Perfectly sculpted so that I can write, finally, once again, I can write, but, dammit, I enjoy video, so I am going to do that too, read this aloud, but then, when I return as Deeply Awake, which I will, of course, I will come as channel, and perhaps occasionally as reporter, too, sure, that’s one of my roles, but there are so many other things afoot now!
I am going to start a venture that I am so excited about, it just blows my mind the inventiveness and how necessary and welcome this service is, and how fun it will be. I don’t have the title yet, and nothing happens until I get that, but once I have captured the essence, oh good god, joy and mirth and risk and fun are attendant, as is abundant money flow, and so many other wonderful, freeing and joyous things.
But in the meantime, oh my god, this really is game time, and the game afoot is that of finally getting there. Finally arriving.
From the beginning, for me, trains have been a part of the downloads, the vision, and the message. Kryon uses this metaphor as well. Early on I had a vision of me on a train. I was unable to speak the language everyone else was talking in. (I wrote about this, very early on. It can be found on www.lightworkers.org/magartha. One day I will transfer all my work over to one site, but for now, 2012 to 2014 is complete, on the lightworkers site.)
In this vision, I was asked, how do you respond? What is going to happen here? You are all in this together, in an enclosed area. You are all headed in the same direction, you are confined, and there is nothing more to do than to deal with this.
You can make each other miserable or happy or neutral, but there is this language barrier. I was walked through the various responses, and saw how such a thing could be interpreted and played so many ways, on all sides. But, in the end I realized that what happens is there is a merging, a blending, and everyone is enhanced, everyone learns new things, and there is, of course, peace, but before seeing that, I felt the resentment, the isolation, the fear, the native hesitation, the separation. The metaphor has remained a potent and fruitful one, and Kryon has done astounding work with it, to explain quantum principles unlanguagable in strictly linear, non-story-telling terms, for which my inner science nerd thanks them.
There is a channel that helped me, about trains, that Kryon did, and I will post it along with a few other things, today. He talks about us knowing we have the ticket, it’s in our hands. In the channel he says, you know the train is coming. You don’t know when. How do you respond? And his reassurance, yes, the train is coming. You have your ticket. It’s just a matter of when.
My friend Diane and I shared such visions, seeing each other first on platforms, then inside the train, not moving, and then, our connection faltered, and I assume she is on a very beautiful, shiny train. We run parallel, at the moment, but we are on our way. Of this I no longer doubt, of any of my loved ones, whether they are my train compartment companions or folks I see in passing, on their way.
But, for me, this metaphor has changed. It’s why I write. It is the source of this sturdy joy and well-deserved celebration.
You see, today I understand it is unwise to deny it, though I have suspected it for a number of days. I know I am at my next destination.
I know this because the movement of my body, the sensations I have, the desires and abilities and willingnesses and thoughts and weird-ass comfort level with, just, EVERYTHING, all of this informs me and makes it undeniable… I am no longer confined.
In fact, I am with people who seem to somehow know me, who seem to actually have my interests at heart when they open their mouths to speak, and when they create their reality around me. I feel as if I am being greeted by people who have been waiting for me. That’s how I feel today.
The reason I can confidently tell you that this is an epilogue is that I feel I have explained my own growth process, the personal side to all of this, very well. I feel I’ve said all I want and need to say, about my weird and mystical past, about my coding and its breaking, about this chronic soul pain, and about my own very public ascension process. I think I have said and done quite enough of the exposing of shadow, the healing of ego, the completion of processes set in motion before my birth.
So here I am. There are things to do and I see them as necessary and pleasant, I am not carrying around this baseline expectation that people are going to be shitty, that things will be hard, that in the end, I will not ever get what I want and deserve and need.
I have things that are not complete in my life, and they don’t feel good. I don’t like that. But the other day I read that piece about the Chalice and the Void, and then the companion piece, “Tend To Your Puzzle.” It helped, because in those two essays I talk about having some time with my friend Jesus, my Jesus, who is slightly autistic, smiles wryly and constantly, hears music in his head and is prone to gentle swaying, always in silence, as my senses reel after one or two sentences from his beautiful mouth. He can afford to light up that clove ciggy and smile, quiet, waiting, knowing I’ll catch up, loving me in every possible way because of it. He loves me so entirely. And I love him back.
What he told me was the places in my life where things just cannot, do not, will not come together, where there is just no completion available, that is a place in my puzzle where the piece isn’t able to fit quite yet. It’s because the piece’s “size,” its significance and meaning, cannot be recognized, the reality doesn’t fit yet with the rest of the puzzle. He told me, at the time of the vision, that I can force it, call it down, the piece that is just hovering there, waiting to be put in place, and he explained the resultant effects. Or I can just see it for what it is and be ok with it. He was much more eloquent than me, and I urge you to read that piece if this is striking chords within you. It really helped ease my thinking around this next part, and it calmed me the f down, made it possible for me the focus on what is going RIGHT, and somehow I feel better, knowing what doesn’t feel right or complete will. It’s just a matter of time, and maturation.
I have those places, those voids, in my life too, places where it seems like wind whistles through a structure that is weather worn and structurally unsound, unsturdy, ready to dissolve, break, and I guess maybe that’s part of the puzzle too. Removing whatever debris there is, tearing down what I’m having to walk around and make excuses for because it just no longer is helpful, interesting, helpful or fun. Maybe this is the further teaching something I couldn’t quite appreciate when he first visited. I can call it down, or I can just get ready, show faith, know, know, know, all is in order, and timing is all that is required to allow another piece of the puzzle to fall into place.
It is another way to look at shifting resonance, shifting consciousness, altering perception and realizing there is something bigger going on.
This is my epilogue. I am looking forward to my next venture, and I am thrilled to come, now and again, as channel and as reporter, not to crow, oh heavens no, but, honey, if things start actually freaking working out, which they most definitely are, then isn’t that the point?
Rather than seeing a report from me about how things are falling into place being seen as an act of vanity, let me just say, for the record, that part of my job is to report the entire arc.
Those who have followed along know that I have had many who have taken pot shots when I have been in confusion, pain, turmoil, and profound grief. And we all know that I will have those taking pot shots at me when I am in balance, aligned, in approval and love with my preferred expression, and its resultant reality. It’s a quantum reality, after all, and this no longer is of interest to me. And as a writer, it’s not my job to think on my reception. My job is to concentrate on presentation and let the audience catch up. So, critics can have at it. I’ll let them. They no longer apply. That’s because what comes now is simply what was expected, what is actually physics in motion, quantum reality expressing consciously through humanity. That’s it. It’s a lot, but, hey, that’s it.
I wish you well on your journeys, and if you, like me, have places in your life that still ache, and don’t run right, ah, well, tell you what. When it’s good, let it be good. When it sucks, remember it won’t suck forever, and let’s just assume that only love is real. Let’s begin and end there, and just see how things go.
I will end by telling you, the last Kryon recording I heard was a bit scary. He warned that there are some things up ahead that will shake us, and may make us question things we never even considered, and it might be of a high difficulty, but to fear not and keep going.
On a day like today, tumblers all in place, the worries few and feathery, fragile, easily toppled, hope an obvious guest, and evidence of blessings as far as I can see, I truly have let the questions drop, the anxieties fade, and I’m focusing, thankfully, on the gifts, the blessings, the miracles and the excitement in front of me. They beckon, they take my hand, they smile! They, and I, move me along now in happiness and joy.
Shit has a way of working out, in other words. I am living proof.
I have arrived.