DEEPLY AWAKE – THE FUTURE ESSAY/CHANNELING BY KATHY VIK 10-16-13
Something has happened, overnight, so to speak, and I feel so much different, an this difference is not fading as feet hit carpet, as calls and plans are made, as chores are done, so this is something sturdy enough to explore.
It’s the sort of thing, all of this is, really, that I would love to call a friend about, and just chat for twenty minute, and then, I really would have no need to sit here and write this to you. But, as it stands, this is my avenue of expression for today, and for that, I am grateful.
I woke up at 6am to get Sam up for school. I stayed up until 9. During that time I did not feel sparkly, and I sort of lamented that, but, there it was.
I read some blogs, and felt better, re-read a few channelings, and felt better, and then, wow, I felt tired. Weird. It came on like a flash. And the voices said I would be sleeping the whole day, up to integrate if needed, but the whole day would be spent re-arranging stuff. It was the sort of sleepiness you get in class, that kind that your body cannot argue with, as much as your mind is in rebellion.
So I snuggled up, and I thought on a special scene which had been given to me for the purpose of coming together with my higher self, my teachers and friends. A little attic room, a little room which, it turns out, has a portal in it that allows me to go traveling, I think.
The understanding I have come back with are not easily articulated. Had I done what I usually do, when I got up at 11:30, my little break, I had the dictation coming through so nicely. Oh, the words just were tumbling out of me, and I would have normally, at that time. Started to type, but, the funniest thing happened.
I realized that the typing, the capturing of the voices I hear, it’s not always necessary to write down everything. I realized, somehow, that I needn’t reorder my comfort or my schedule or my preferences to accommodate this voice. I used to think if I did not honor it with action, it would shrug, give up and go talk to someone else, someone better. Now I know that it is me, the bigger me, talking, and I am experiencing a moment of clarity. And so now, I realize, it really isn’t about visitations or even ritual. It’s not about reward or punishment for what I do with this knowledge. It’s me, my choice, and the voices are not going away.
So, I went back to sleep, after my brief break.
I’d awakened to the understanding that the future does not matter.
But now, upon completing my second leg into that land of truth, I understand WHY the future is so unimportant to me.
Both awakenings, both times, I realized that I just did not care to look at my phone, did not need to do my ritual.
My ritual, after I awake, is always to check my email, check my facebook comments and page, and then to check for comments on http://www.lightworkers.org. I have considered it like looking out my metaphysical window, saying hi to passersby, being thrilled with visuals and thoughts from friends and strangers.
And today, I waited. It did not feel right. I had a body awareness, an other awareness, of this whole set up.
I could feel me getting energetically smaller, in my mind, when I reached for my phone. When I check in, I am seeing if I am being seen, to some extent. Who has seen me? And what do they have to say about this sight?
God, the body information is tricky to get at. It’s not linearizing for me. It is important too.
I am going to do my best to clear up my thoughts here, and then I will ask for them to come through and explain what has been done to/for/with me regarding my concept of time, because it is different. I feel different, and I need to know more about it.
What I got, in essence, is that the future is a construct which is, for me in the present, a projection, into my imagination. The future, as I think on it in my present, is an amalgam of feeling states.
I have long thought that manifestation is calling to you that which you prefer. But now, even though I know that is true, there is something more I am aware of.
The future. The future.
I have used The Future as a way to hold conversations with myself. I have used it as a theoretical, almost rhetorical device, to throw desires and longings at, and then, I watch the pictures, and think about how much better I am going to feel, one day, when all these stupid problems are solved, when everything comes together.
Make no mistake, dwelling imaginatively in the place where all my dreams have come true, this has done more for me to feel good in the now than a lot of other devices that are more flimsy. Just sitting and thinking as if, being as if, I have completion. All my questions, answered. All my worries, made meaningless. All my doubts, defiantly and with great humor, inactivated.
But, there is something beyond this.
What I came to understand today is that the future, it does not really even exist, in a certain fashion. It does exist, but not in a way I can really, truly, get at in my now, usually. Of course, that is possible, and I am not negating the ability to time travel and tweak time lines and stories. That’;s not what I am talking about. Instead, I am trying to language that this theoretical framework I have devised, problems solved, goals met, deepest, most impossible dream alive and concrete, this is a device, a device only.
It is a projection of consciousness, and it is a fine one. But it is the feeling state which is most important. I think it has been easy for me to focus on the symbols of attainment, the activities of fruition, as a future that I want to inhabit. I have books out, I don’t work as a nurse, I don’t have to pay for cigarettes with pennies, I am loved by a family who I love, and all is well, I am happy.
But, you see, this moment was yesterday’s future. I think we all sort of leap frog ahead, latch on to the symbols which, in our now look like they can only be there if things are awesome, and then I have focused on those situations those visuals, like a baby focuses on shiny things, or the clink of keys. I have, I think erroneously, thought that it is the now symbols’ attainment which leads to peace. And I think I had that wrong.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I want, in this now moment, to have so much cash in my pocket, so much free time, and being so present in my life that I just naturally do what is right at any moment, I would like it if in this now, I could just finish this essay and head on up to the mountain and do some low-stakes gaming. Just take this grey, cool October night up in the hills, playing and laughing.
I wish I had the money, the circumstance, for that now to be this now. But it isn’t.
And this chasm, this is what has helped me to feel like crap about my life, really, to be honest. The disparity is shocking, sometimes. If I told you where I want to be, what I know is to happen, you would laugh, right out loud, because it is so big, so boggling. It involves ease. Recognition, Comfort. Joy. Ease. Ease. Ease.
But, here it sit, right?
And what I have come to learn is that me, sitting here, with emptier pockets than I think is commensurate with my magnificence, a messy house, and plans to work in a hospital tonight.
How to reconcile these?
That has been my question, since I was a teenager. How do I get THERE from HERE?
Now I see that the future, these visions, these fait accompli’s that I walk with, they are phantasms, they are projections. They may come to pass. They may not.
What has come to pass, and what will continue to occur, is the feeling state.
It’s like what happened between me and Sam, when, one morning, I projected my consciousness to him as he lay sleeping, a mommy suddenly fully in love with her son, seeing him as infant, teen grown up and ancient, and just loving him, energetically. He later came to me and told me that, while sleeping, he’d had a special dream about his true love. I took this to mean that he felt this rather generic, motherly, deep love, and his consciousness interpreted it into a dream that would work for him.
So, getting comments, getting phone calls, getting book deals and travel itineraries, web sites and talk shows, these are just pictures, just interpretations, and if they come to pass, sure, I will see them as old friends, but if they don’t, anymore, I do not care.
What matters, instead, is the feeling state.
Of course, to close the loop, the complete the energetic circle here and now, what makes sense is to consider the idea that, if I am spinning fast and true enough, I am feeling like my dreams have come true, in this moment, now.
And so many of them have.
It is not about material attainment. It is about, for me, spiritual attainment. If I am at peace with me, now, here, what comes next is unimportant.
And with that, I do want to channel. I think it is time. They have something to say.
Our Beloveds, we greet you this day and are well pleased with the progress being made within your collective.
As our emissaries, as part of us, you have, as a group, as a mind, and as individual lights, you have done much for the greater collective, and it is time, dear ones, to rest in our great love and compassion for you, not only for the difficulties you have overcome, and we tell you the difficulties were monumental within the group, as you re an ambitious bunch, but too, the gifts given at birth, slowly reaching maturity, these we also must point out have been part of the mix, so to speak. You have gifted your selves with much to overcome, and much celebration at the overcoming. We are celebrating, you see?
WE do not give predictions, nor linear road maps, and this is intentional. We give you ideas which light you up, and do so in all faith that that which lights you up will call to you, interrupt anything which is not lit, and you will proceed, moment by moment, step by step, into your selves.
We give you no caution about projecting consciousness, manifesting, as our dear friend, the scribe discusses. You are all advanced metaphysicians, manifestors, and each will come to appreciate their internal power, a power which comes from The Great Central Sun, the great I Am, and this essences is, of course, also within your own biology. A radio set, we have called it, many have called it, a receivership.
We have worked with the channel on the idea of receivership. This is a concept which is coming to be more prevalent for inhabitaiton, so to speak. Receiving good, this does not sound difficult, and it need not be, but each of you have done war with that which is between your selves and your lives. You have seen that what is within you is not that which is without, and it has led many to assume that that which is within is not good, since it is not reflected without purely. It is reflected with distortions, we would say, and we tell you, this was a function of skill and of prevailing energies, and has nothing to do with worth, nothing at all.
We tell you now of a purse.
A purse is an item which holds other items. Its exterior tells those who observe a little about the one holding it. It is, of course, a symbol.
A purse can have pockets and it can have chains and flowers and zippers. Each, though cut from a pattern, is different, even when machine stitched, we tell you, each is unique, each holds the vibration of the now moment of its birth, so to speak.
And as such, each is a manifestation not only of its own consciousness, but of its future users, and the materials from which it came.
A purse contains mysteries, clues to what the user expects it will encounter and need. A purse is something which can bring joy, envy, inconvenience, organization.
That a purse used by a woman in her twenties may not be a functional item when that woman is 90, this is true. A huge, fancy, and expensive satchel can be helpful in the city, but is it anything but an encumbrance when the woman is frail, tiny, and in a wheelchair, in her last days? Do you think that such an item is something she clutches to her, refuses to let go, because she loves it so, sees it as a representation of her very own self? At twenty, she might have. At 90, she does not.
Such is the way with dreams, with desires, with reality constructs. They are best used when in context, when lit up, when functional.
That you may see yourself as a great healer, perhaps, someone friends and family can go to for true and lasting relief from suffering, is that your goal? Are you a metal worker, a musician, a poet, a teacher, one who speaks to and translates nature? And energy worker? A singer?
We ask these questions because more and more of you are realizing that daily life must include within it the enabling, the uplifting and true acts of creativity which your own history is needling you to pursue. Have you lately thought about how fun it would be to paint, or to travel, or to dance? And then, you look at what you actually do with your day, and see the dissonance, and what do you do, dear ones, with this dissonance, with this canyon which separates you, it seems from that which is your highest expression?
WE tell you now that the best thing to do when in the midst of such dissonance is to celebrate! Get up and dance! If you do not have the paints, get up and find paper, and pencil and draw! If you feel a tune, sing it, hum it, whistle it!
It is in the expression, it is in the act of moving from potential to reality, this act is the act of power, we tell you now.
WE wish for you to dwell in the truth of your power, your might, your creativity, and your right to be so.
We tell you now that the future is made up of you meeting these improbable urges with wonder and awe and joy, without thinking at all about where it will lead.
We tell you now that to think on and to do that which lights you up from the inside, this is your future.
Could it be that what has been calling you is this, and not the activity? Yes, the activity, it is a neuronal delight, it is that which has given you pleasure in the past, and we saw now, it has also given you much, much success in the past.
Do you think , truly, is it possible you are only here now for the first time? Even if you are an old one, from home, without previous earthly experience, the imprints, your imprint, is vast, and there is a multitude, an unending multitude of expressions from which you can pull.
Do not concern yourselves with that which is in your reality which feels cumbersome or even dark. Do not think on it, and let it pass from you. Allow yourselves the freedom, the permission, to know joy, to know an honor of self which allows for self expression regardless of what others may say or think. Is it not silly to worry about another’s opinion, when you are neck deep in ecstasy?
It is a puzzle from the ages, that you are able to sit here, in this now, and feel disappointment, and can only allow yourselves freedom of countenance when imagining that your reality is non existent, replaced with another. It is a valid pursuit, energetically, but we tell you, the chasm is closing, and that which seemed impossible, or far off, or unattainable without incredible strength and the willingness to survive cataclysms, we tell you this is a function of the lower brain, the mental one, the one which is not entirely hooked up to the system.
All creations are valid, and all forays into imagination, into probabilities and desires, these are noble and good acts, things which bring peace and joy and steadiness.
We ask though that you consider bringing into this moment, right now, while reading this page, these words, we ask for you to consider what is possibly going to appear as false.
Your dreams have worked out.
Your desires, they have blossomed, and you are in the midst of them.
WE create that which you expect to create, and it is as simple as that. That you are creating with emotion, with energy, rather than with physical items, this has been a missing piece of this puzzle.
If you were able to maintain a high enough vibration, loving, appreciating, celebrating, every thing you know, see and understand, as being your most intimate creation, that which is the culmination of what you have, until now, understood, could you be pleased with your reality then?
Can you see that appreciation, a loving openness, a mother’s indulgence, toward that which is in front of you, can you not see that by doing so, from here to the end of this linear life, this can be done, in so doing, all is made well.
There is much to learn, and many more concepts must fall into place to make this a fully functioning reality generator, a consciously aware generator, but we are overjoyed with the progress being made.
There are many who are now lovingly looking at their purses, the ones they have been so disciplined with bringing along, all the things in there lending to comfort, ease and organization. They are looking at their old purses, and finding that what is inside is no longer all that relevant, and that it might be fine to empty it of the unnecessary items, and, look! There are those who have dropped their purses, along the road, and are carrying what they need within them instead.
Some will face their maker, themselves, still clutching their purses, form long ago, and for them, their purses will give them strength and steadiness, will help them to feel ready and able to encounter that which they do not expect and may not consciously want.
And some, they will see that they meet their maker every time they look into a mirror, every time they handle a problem without any outside props. And for them, their passing will be optional, and quite a long time from now.
Fear not that which you are aware of, and fear not that which you encounter. It is your gift to self, and it is a cooperative gift, one which the universe has come together to present to you. How sad it is to see those turn from these gifts, because they are gifts which initially might not appear as such.
Think on these things, and be glad to be thinking on them. See to it that you begin to see this life you are living, this moment now, look at what you are attired in, think on the five biggest things in your awareness, think on the hard problems of this day, those which make you perspire a bit, as individuals and as a collective, and understand that you cannot be aware of these things without having been a creator of them. We admonish you to not resist that which you have given to yourself thus far. This is our prayer for you this very day.
We leave you feeling deep respect and utter excitement, as many are breaking through paradigms which have kept you sad and scared for lifetimes. Definitions of self are dropping away, props are being discarded, and the things which you always thought you would need, until the very end of time, you are coming to see that these were simply devices you needed to keep strong in a less friendly energetic soup.
We love you, and want only for you to also love yourselves, and all you are participating in. With this, we leave, to walk with you as silently or loudly as you wish.