DEEPLY AWAKE By Kathy Vik
“It’s Real” 3-28-16
[ree–uh l, reel]
- Word Origin
true; not merely ostensible, nominal, or apparent:
the real reason for an act.
existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious:
a story taken from real life.
being an actual thing; having objective existence; not imaginary:
The events you will see in the film are real and not just made up.
being actually such; not merely so-called:
a real victory.
genuine; not counterfeit, artificial, or imitation; authentic:
a real antique; a real diamond; real silk.
unfeigned or sincere:
real sympathy; a real friend.
Dedicated to those special ones in my life who have helped make this, and me, real. This is a group endeavor, and I hold you in the highest esteem and honor this day. –KJV
I’ve always liked to consider myself smarter than a skeptic, because I know the value of my intuition, so, I find a person who just says “fuck you” and “prove it” to new ideas to be shut down, and not very interesting. They don’t interest me anymore. Never have, really.
Instead, who is drawn to me, who I attract, are complete strangers who quickly turn into something else, something more, sitting out back of the nursing home, or standing in line and the grocery store, or placing my order for tasty delights. My friends, my family of friends, my beloveds, my new brothers and sisters, I find myself surrounded by pretty interesting people, and they are pretty tolerant, many very positive and encouraging.
I’ve always been one of those people who just can’t stay on the surface, and I always have felt a little weird about that, frankly, envying bubbly people, those who are not thinking about DNA and, just, living to a standard, setting an inner course that at times makes sense to no one, doing things in a way that some find peculiar and therefore suspect, but that always has involved listening to, and, in the end, honoring myself, my messages, my intuition.
It is this chorus of imagined nay-sayers and those that have, forever and a day simply turned away, that I get to say good bye to today, because I want to explain what I understand has happened, and my Self in relation to it. I understand that it may not be typical. However, I also understand that it is not all that unique. To our continued surprise and amazement, my friends and I often come to discover that huge portions of intensely personal and unique inner realities are instead a cleverly timed and intimately shared one.
We discuss significant dreams, the visions, the things that were noteworthy. This morning, on Skype, it was all about how this council I have come to understand is me, but more than me, I guess you could say, this Council, and how they looked, and their message, how they presented? Nearly identical, in presentation and in message, to my friend’s.
Uncanny. Soothing. Confirmation. I love confirmation.
This is a shared reality for many of us, and so, being honest about this stuff is an assist, because when you’re having this stuff happen, and there’s only you going through it, even if you’re surrounded by people who act nicely, and are supportive, rather than demeaning and belittling, still, it’s a lot to assimilate and stay steady with. I am only now beginning to see the real-life ramifications of some of this, and it’s really big. It feels really good. It feels REAL.
I understood that this last little bit was a final corridor, and I have an understanding that it is on the 4-4 of 2016 that for me, and maybe for a lot of us, there will be something that we pass, or do, or receive, or something, but, the resonance is such that it perhaps just means maybe we take a day to celebrate better functioning DNA, now, finally, closing in on the 40’s.
There comes a time to just be honest. There comes a time to just finally go still. And, just, surrender into it. And I understood last week we were doing that. I was given the guidance, the dates, and each day was a holy day, and each day was a passage.
I had many thoughts on the null zone during that time, and understood on a level I hadn’t before, that this was that. The null zone. The time of in between. The land between before and after. And the 4-4-16 once again asserts itself, and there is more there but I don’t feel like channeling today, just talking. I am reposting something today that I discovered on Tumblr, and it is so freaking weird, the content so up to the second, everything exactly what I needed to hear today.
I understood again and again, as I got restless, as I wondered why plans were falling through, this week, holding the observation without a shred of judgment or worry, just curiosity, and that, dulled, somehow, this is how it is to be for now. I felt this weird draining away of a lot of things, a swelling of others, undulating waves of putting things together, and letting things go, letting them pass from me, the last two weeks, but, holy week, by then, I knew, my friends all reported independently, feeling this as well.
I have a soul friend who helps me by being honest about her experience. And the way in which she described what has occurred knocked me back, in its power, in its certainty, in its steady, peaceful, powerful knowledge that it is done. Independently, friends reporting that they feel they have ascended. Something big has happened. Something very very big indeed. These are not words we speak lightly. At all. At all. At all. Oh, I hope you know how precious it was to me, realizing it was real, realizing that it wasn’t a lie to say out loud. I hadn’t ever even whispered the words. They are not to be said until it is a certainty within. It is a holy act, to declare it. Just so you know, ok? There is something about saying it.
I decided to look up the definition of real. I have said many times that this is a consensus reality, at present, and it seems that one’s own reality is strengthened, through confirmation, in this community, for me, for others.
I think because what we experience is so personal, and perhaps, in older times, this knowledge, this wisdom, came with an energetic overlay of “shh, keep this quiet.” It wasn’t all that safe to just walk around proclaiming this stuff. I know. I was there!
But the truth is, if I were to sit down and tell you what I think is true about a lot of things, there’d be a lot of questions. And the answers would be dipped in love itself, some kind of perspective that I don’t usually hold here in 3d land, because, get me on a kick about the metaphysical, and I am off. It is my love, my passion, and my truth, this greater awareness which is meant only to love us, and help us, because it is us. I know things the average person does not, by virtue of my training, and my natural proclivities, and my genetic intent.
What is true, then? And what is real? I’ve toyed with this question in so many different ways, and of course, what is real is love, and really, everything is love, so, to me, that’s what’s real. What is not real is fear, is power over, is degradation and bullying and the twisted logic of the dark. And this, this is man-made, is artificial, is a construct to help move our story along, to tell us in the parables of this tissue we breathe, what it is to know oneself and act accordingly.
I tried really hard to be a ditz, and to be simple, and to be a pleasing, subservient woman, I have played many roles, and I have taken on many identities, played out many lifetimes in this one, and it led me here, to holy week, begun cradled in love, with my friend, ending in peace, in silence, in a blank, a void, that had been with me, not a dullness, but, just, I knew something was going on.
We all did, apparently.
I am so pleased with my path, my training, and, I have needed my training. My week with Enrique Bouron, Michelle Karen’s lecture on quantum astrology, Gregg Braden’s knowledge, Dr. Ovekytis’ passion. I had to remember the DNA information The Teachers gave me. And I studied. I have listened to every single recording of Kryon’s, some repeatedly. Not obsessively, mind you, and this, over a series of years. But this was a necessity. It is a signature I know, and I needed a teacher. I needed someone with just a bit better view than me, while my vision adjusted. That’s how I have always seen the reliable, in-synch channeler teachers I have had. It’s just training. It’s just an agreement to be put through my paces in remembering all this stuff, because, frankly, there is nothing on those tapes that stuns me, much that soothes and informs, gently, slowly. They bookcase what was given to me twenty years ago, is my hypothesis, an amplification and refinement of energies quite crude in their circa 1992 story telling, though highly effective and perfect in content and delivery. Just, simpler. That’s all I could understand.
So, I kept my eyes open, because I had been trained. I understood that the point of working your ass off, becoming and staying as conscious and aware and open as possible, was to get ready. Refine. Stay awake. Be purposeful. Listen to your gut. Do what you can justify, and don’t do that which you can’t justify. And one day, something grand is going to happen.
One day, there will be enough of us to sound a clarion call.
One day, we will hit critical mass.
One day, it’ll happen.
And then, it’ll be different. Better. Easier, somehow. Better.
It was hard to hang onto this feeling, this knowledge, this reality, at first. It is a gradual thing, like music that is heard only faintly, but it never, ever stops, and it is always really beautiful. It just keeps getting closer and closer, and feels, at a certain point, to be exactly what it is: a new reality which has you in its sights and is “coming down on you like a Mack truck.” Forgive the terminology and the visuals, but I say it because when I would ask The Teachers, so deeply convinced my littlemind was the one in charge, I’d ask about my good, the stuff that’ll set my path and heart and bones right, make me happy, joyful, productive, integrated, fruitful, a cooperative blend of being and doing, they’d use that phrase. When is it going to happen? That phrase.
That was, let’s not forget, in the early 90’s. They ascended in 1994. They got integrated into the grid, is what happened, but they couldn’t have explained it to us back then. It would have taken too long.
A synchronized, global event, after which, it’s just different, involving no organization, no central agency of government, no official agreement who or what we are, but, brother, I can tell you, we know each other now. We are each other, now. After last week. Now.
All that being said, I have been in some pretty weird thinking, eased by my friend, us both realizing that we are the observer now, and our lives are precious but they are our stories, our personalities. And it is possible now to see what is a personality worry, and that these are going to iron themselves out with practice. Listening and following intuition is what will help the most, listen, then do, listen, then do, listen, then do.
Go where you feel good, follow your guidance now. That’s it. Pretty simple.
There were years of being told, be patient, dear ones. Now is not the time for action. Be still and have faith.
I think that is what a good farmer murmurs to his seedling crops, what the first butterfly whispers to the fluttering cocoons in the tree it sprang from hours before.
But sooner or later, and more or less as a group, the cocoons pop, and peel, and beings wriggle and breathe and, without argument, without the ability to argue the reality, they now embody a different purpose, one that could not be expressed in the state they had previously known to be “normal.”.
It makes sense that, once there’s a crack down the middle and heads start popping out, the butterflies don’t question their natural curiosity, and, their need for mirroring what they have become. Butterflies do not have mirrors. They have each other, and brand new abilities that, no doubt, the others around them coach them on. It is a group project, you see, all done individually, all entirely dependent upon a little worm lying down and wrapping up and entering that place of before and after, spun from its own body. How profound the metaphor, how deep and true!
I wonder how this goes, now, but I can’t fear anymore. I understand on a fundamental level that I am not alone, and that what is happening within me is something which is simply an acceptance of what and who I have always been, always knew, and always held very, very dear. It is only here that much of this has ever been shared. No one knows all of this. One knows much. Many know most. I think we share what would be most mutually beneficial, even if it’s complicated or hard or weird. Or awesome.
All I really know is that all through the week I would ask, ok, now? And then the snow grounded us, and so much more happened, and one by one, it seems, things got, somehow, simpler and simpler.
How this fleshes out remains to be seen, but gone are the days that I don’t see that this is pretty magical, and it’s reproducible. It is something I am just getting used to, this newness. I don’t even have a name for much of what I feel and know and am aware of. And somehow, I find this a pleasurable thing. For now.
We agree, those who have talked with me openly, that some sort of critical mass or wave has occurred. I understood very very clearly that it was not complete until today. Today marks a new time.
If it were just me saying this, would it be less real? The eternal question remains, implanted within as a writer, as an original sound forever listening for its echo, for some proof, some knowledge that there are indeed others.
It’s not up for question now, for me, and for those who have experienced it. It is beyond question. It is real. It Just Is. They were my words, my sentiment, as my friend stated her experience, and her inner knowledge, just as solid and irrefutable and undeniable as what I have found, to my utter delight.
It’s really totally understandable to have questions, and to doubt it, and to try to poke holes in it. I did. I think skeptics are stupid, and I am the biggest skeptic of them all. I required proof that others find unnecessary.
Purposefully, I am hardwired, it seems, to find the others, just as I have been hardwired to write about this, like that’s a normal thing. I can assure you, it’s not normal. Neither is it dysfunctional. It is a service to myself and to you.
That I can now step away from the confessional, once and for all, having come out, over these years as so many things, and , oh dear reader, there are so very many more things I could confess, or do, or say, or think, which would perhaps call into question my divinity or whether it’s correct for somebody like me to be wearing a mantle, one that loves Jesus jokes, writing and sexual congress more than just about anything. Oh, and those sea salt caramels!
And mine is to serve as your punk rock helper, my bad bitch just as badass as what you’d find bruised, bleeding, mad with rage, brawling on a Saturday night outside a Texaco. Over somebody, probably. I know that vibration just like I know all of them, and they all serve their purpose, and they are all beautiful. I like leather. I like seamy stuff. Doesn’t make me any less holy, you know?
I don’t judge. I have been with those in high and low positions, I enjoy the company of those who have come up with a shit hand and done absolutely nothing about it just as much as those who rose from the ashes. But, I don’t hang out with just anybody. I need those who are open, who are fearless, and as shameless and guiltless as I understand I am, in the middle of their mess.
I know I have talked a lot, but this is the last of the Deeply Awake stuff. I think the time of being in the confessional is now over. And here is why.
I spent my whole life wanting to know if God is real. If Jesus was real. If The Teachers were real. My teachers, this lifetime, for large part, have come through channels. I have preferred the information. I didn’t specifically go looking for ascension and information of 12 strand DNA and quantum physics. And yet, it is my language, as being Hindu is part of me, as my knowledge of grids, and the human heart, and future changes, as my Akash continues to assert itself, and blend with me.
All I know is that I figured, if I could just get to the place where I knew it was actually real, if I could ever achieve a state when it all really just finally hit home, then maybe things would be easier. I had huge sparkly events. Mind-blowing meditations. I wrote about it all. I explored, and I went far, and I was onto something long before I had any comprehension what this was, or what might come nest.
There is no such thing as a finished product. I think, being creative and destructive and exhilarating, exhilarated creators, to imagine an end is folly, since there is only more becoming, and more connection, and more individuality and more harmony, within, and without.
It’s real. It is not only a shared reality, but it is one I have come to trust, and to value more highly than anything. My source. My core. My home.
My conundrum had been everyone else, and how to manage all of it, and this sharp coming to, within a world that was beginning to feel less and less real. I have come to a new world that is far more real, more authentic, more vivid, and I cannot even say that my body looks as it once did, or that I act the same as I used to, or want the same things, or can tolerate the same things.
I am using the photo I took on the Solstice of 2014. In reality, the coals were bright red, and there was no glowing Merkahbah. I sent the photo to my loved one, and said words to the effect of, I keep asking for proof that this is real, that I am a magician, that it’s all real. What more proof to I need?
He asked me that question in reply, as I recall.
It’s real. I know how to manage and direct it better, and the guidance now is in my bones, and this is another shared phenomenon. It’s just different now, bigger, clearer, more innate.
What this means in the physical is actually quite astounding. Things that I had been wanting are appearing, are physically possible, for no other reason than I have changed somehow, and I feel whatever flip or switch that was being hinted at through this time of transition has come about, or is in the process. I feel strongly this has to do with how the body is wired, and my friend talked of resistors, and physical energy flow. I get the same information, and that it is to just be with, and not worry over, just part of the rewiring.
The biggest, most persistent guidance I am receiving is to go bigger, allow for bigger than I imagine. Over and over and over I am told to position myself in new places, new situations, and to just be ready. Just be ready. Just be ready.
I’m not ready anymore, though. It’s real. I’m here. I stand in open awe and anticipation, finally trusting the worst is behind me, us. My friends are smiling back at me and they love me and I love them. I am letting myself surprise myself again, and am glad to have reminders to be open to things I don’t have in my imagination, not really, not just yet. No anxiety now, no fear to be found. I’m not looking over my shoulder, or stealing glances at folks, because I am pretty happy at the moment. I am remaining open, but I am happy. My new normal.
My friend told me something that helped me, and I am going to share it with you in parting. My last Deeply Awake for a while. For me, I see no point in doing the project now. The task has been achieved. There is nothing more to say. Now it is time to do. Now it is time to act. And be. No longer is it time to explain, defend, parse, argue, flesh out. It was needed. Now it is not. Because it’s real.
Much of my argument with humanity in general, and very definitely skin to skin up close, has been not hearing a response to this:
Meet me. Find me and tell me I am not alone out here. Love me back.
In a darker and more trying time, even the call was distorted, and I think there were distortions that ruined things, sent them crashing, even just recently. But rather than consider it all object lessons into my human brokenness and need for improvement, instead, I see things so much differently, and I understand that it’s within my ability to understand, and have compassion, now, for the ones not in surplus. I can afford, once again, to give unconditional love, no longer with demands for mirroring and recognition, and yet, now I have the sense to devote myself and revere those who demonstrate their devotion to me, who understand the vibration of unfettered, happy reverence, the ones who can throw it right back onto me, deliciously. And all of it, in between, oh, that is delicious too. I have no argument with any of it anymore. I just know what I can do, and what I can’t, and honor this above all.
To hold it all in gratitude, in respect, in wonder, and to recognize that so much of the old patterning is optional now, is less and less available, now, and yet, easily accessed and enjoyed, maybe more as a teaching tool, at this point, than a place to hang out.
Forever and a day I have signed off with, well, I don’t know what’s going to happen next. And that is as true today as it was in 2012, when this bloggy thing started, this need to unravel the bizarre mystery that was unfolding in front of and inside me.
I am glad I wrote it all down, because rereading it makes it real, for me. Connection makes me feel real. Relationship. Sharing. My own knowing. My experience, with or without people, these things are what make something real.
It was real for me at 8, inducing spin before sleep. It was real for me as I sat and let The Teachers’ exquisite energy train and love and mend me. It was real when I rocked dying infants and received my first instruction from The Council at work. It was real when my combined energy made a casino’s power go out. My NDE’s were real. My friends, who share with me experiences, parallel growth patterns, entangled realities, they are real, as are what they report, what they know, what they now know is their truth, that it is all very real. All.
I can be a foul mouthed temptress. I can be a loving mother. I can be a scholar, a healer, a channeler, a nurse, all these mere roles, scripts, adventures, stories I will share with others, fortunate ones, those who will still their fears and allow for open hearted love to overtake our sense of time, of self, and of the common.
There is no more need to explain, to plead, to parse, to justify. To do so, at this point demonstrates not understanding what has been achieved, and what is now necessary. I was, I am, and will remain deeply awake.
That’s how I know it’s real.