Deeply Awake Entangled — The Lovelies 06-23-14


The Lovelies” 6-23-14


This piece is dedicated to Jennifer Odekirk Wyblie, Terri henges, Melissa Elmore Davis and Lisa Gawlas, to our tribe, The Lovelies…

There are vast gifts which were given, and received, this solstice. I am trying my best to find a way to let you know what it was like, as a way to tell them of my gratitude and love, but also to demonstrate to myself and those who have been reading along that things get better, basically.

I’d been invited to the group, a facebook group, in 12, and I guess I immediately did something bawdy, very over the line in most spiritual circles. And the doors were just pushed further open, and hands came out and pulled me in, and there has been laughter, and a funny sense of relief, for me, ever since. Just being with these people.

They have a new tradition, a five day solstice get together, each June. This had been my first time meeting them in the flesh.

As I was parking the car tonight, trying to consolidate what this was like for me, the best thing I can come up with is the feeling I wrote about in “Rehearsal.” In my dream or meditation or whatever, there had been a lot of us who gathered all on the hills, and we were doing some sort of work together, energetic, important work, and there I was with narration, and everyone was participating in it, hearing it, and it peaked and became sturdy and hung in the air and set the tone, and then, there was no event. We all just shrugged and sort of began to mingle.

And in the dream was the feeling I had all weekend long. There was none of the sheepish self consciousness that is my wont, but instead, it was just the next moment somehow. It was all just totally good. I felt secure and safe. And around me came people who held no shame. It wasn’t in them. And they were kind and appreciative and genuinely loving, everybody to everybody else. It was a relief not to have to feel all the shame and hiding, in the dream, I remember. There were no clouds between people. It was clear.

And now, here I am, among women who do not resonate with shame. Authentic. Honest. Off the charts intelligent. Provocative. Nurturing. Kind. Thoughtful. Tolerant. For five days.

Five days.

On a farm type ranch, a working little farm, and we ate the garden at night. They made Indian food, because I asked for it. I sat there eating lentils feeling like my heart was going to break open in love.

They taught me that although we may be those petals on the flower, each of us glorious and silken and mysterious, we are part of a whole. And I saw how we danced and played with it all, the different attributes, the proclivities, the humor, the freedom each of us has had to create,and to just have the opportunity to stand entranced with all they had become.

The only other analogy I have is it is as if, over the weekend, a conversation that is beyond satisfying, an endless, creative, self sustaining conversation of great depth and sort of soul satisfying love, within which is this awesome conversation,and with these ladies, honest to god, it felt like a 40,000 years old conversation, the best conversation of my life, is playing out, like no time has passed, and everything is somehow the same and different. 40,000. That number is quite insistent with me. The conversation stopped, and this weekend we started it again. And it’s going on, even now, even now.

There were tons of self revelations too, mainly how it’s pretty true that I can present as kind of autistic, and Jennifer has given me great help in seeing myself clearer. I think I struggled all this time as each of us did,in our own way, and that’s where this needs to go, really, not me, us.

I was struck, outside under the awning one night that each of us were once little girls, teenagers, young adults. Each of us had different ways we did it. Each of us are stand- alone magnificent, and that’s why that flower analogy sort of falls away. I think of each of these women, each a deep rich tone, a universe, self aware, balanced, at peace. And we got here, I think, knowing what was true for us, and not bending, when it came to a thing or two.

Each of us living authentically, me bringing up the rear on some ways, still figuring out the basics, in some regards. And now, really and truly and deeply, I think that is just so great. It’s just me, and it’s a good thing. I have earned the peace, and I love the blend, the creation, the expression.

And I used to think there was some rule against letting someone else let you feel that way, mainly, I think, because I can sense dissonance and things others can’t and it was hard to get over everything that was unsaid. Here, things, all of it, mostly, was out there. What was left hidden was done in kindness and great love, just some stuff you glide over and, like it was explained today, you find matches, energetic matches, and go where it feels best. Like a game of concentration. Feeling your way through all of it, moment to moment.

I know that psychology, and even biology and philosophy to some degree ascribe to the notion that things, and people, especially people, are fixed, unchangeable. They are anything but.

I want to go someplace else, past the ranch, past my revelations and my miracles.

Kryon sings my song of home, the bookends to The Teachers. They have been talking about the new radiation, for lack of a better word, that is beginning to get picked up by scientists. There are parts of the galaxy we have not yet traveled, it being our first time making a revolution, so it’s something new, that we are traveling into,that we are encountering and he’s been explaining it. He explained it best today. I had some amazing experiences today, but this one, it bears looking at. His information has quickened. It’s freaking amazing. I am referring to his Shasta talks.

So, Kryon is explaining that, right on time, in the highest benevolence, if we’d awakened, we’d be able to experience more, once the new rays come. DNA activation sort of inductance from the heliosphere of the sun, done magnetically all day, every day, but if what gets transmitted is super sparkly,then, what the heck, it sounds like quite a ride. I can hardly wait, and think to myself as it palsy, well, this weekend was good practice.

I mention it because of something Jennifer said to me. I asked her about her journey, and she said, just factually and sweetly, that she just knew what she was here to do. I asked her, “What’s that?” She looked at me and said, “Ascension.”

I’m not the only one. There are so many of us now. And I had five days of living with them! Of course, each may have their own verbiage and take on things, but my god, my god, will you take a look at this!

Holy moly. Five days with these people. Phenomenal. They knew that to heal me up takes love, not instruction. They knew I needed to be handled just as I was, every minute. Oh my, the love I felt. And the honor, the delight, being around them Their stories. Their magnificent stories. All the laughter.

I know I’m talking in little tiny sentences and might not be very descriptive, but I am in the feeling of it. There will be other stories, of course, in time. But this one, it had to be told right from my heart.

And so, I’ll tell you of something odd and eerie and beautiful. I tell you this because I think it was a gift to all of us, and want to it to be seen that way. How I perceive it. I was given private interpretations and meanings too,but, what was at the base of the thing was my desire to show you what this felt like.

Solstice was wonderful. Enchanted. One of those golden nights you can replay on a chilly one, when you just want to feel like you’re sitting next to a fire. Those are best nights of all.

And so, there was this magnificent feeling, and all I wanted to do was stay outside and swim in it, and the stars, once folks decided it was time for bed. The stars had been talking to me, and I wanted to keep listening.

I felt the house go a little dark, felt a settling.

I replayed the feelings from the night, the state I enjoy when conversation has turned golden and all synchronicity, and there is rhythm and grace and humor hanging in the air. I thought about things said to me, the wonders people gave and I loved, of all the love. I had my feet up on the fire pit ledge. I thought it would be good to capture, for the outside world, because I could sense people looking in, let’s capture what this moment feels like for everybody. This perfect moment.

I’ll post the image, but I will describe it just briefly, since some sites don’t allow photos. It’s dark, and you can see, in shadow, the shape of legs, crossed at the ankle, light flip flops, I think you can see. To the right of the feet is a fire, and the embers are deep blue. To the right, and away from the feet, on the other edge of the fire pit ledge, is a bright white image, glowing bright. It looks, to me, like a star of David, or a tetrahedron.

I quickly scanned the picture before posting, and didn’t study it at first.

Then Jennifer came out, asked to join me. I was so happy she was there. I showed her this picture, to show her how I was feeling. And to maybe get a read on the white thing. She pointed out the embers being blue (they were still bright red hot), something I had not noticed at all, and she saw a distant round light in the sky, a star, just there in the middle of the night sky.

I think this is a gift that we were all given, and the words I heard in my head as I saw it, and it began to make sense, were the voices I hear at times, the familiar, loving ones… very lovingly and indulgently and wryly asking, “So, how much more proof will you be needing now”, the feeling behind the words a loved one who would keep on proving it every day, ceaselessly and gladly and with great humor and levity. They also kept grinning while they said, “Consciousness over physics, dear one.” I think they are quite cheeky.

And so, here are The Teachers, my old friends, to bring us home. I can remember when they would call us together for a group thing. It did not happen often, When it did, they would always start our time by acknowledging all those who accepted the invitation and then did not come.

We sent them light and love, and they explained, there are certain things which are scheduled. Of course, there are details, but these appointments are hard wired, hard to avoid. But this is a free will planet, and if for whatever reason the choice is not made to attend, the person is as honored as if they’d come.

And so, with reverence and never with pity, The Teachers would explain how most of life is going where you are moved to go, doing what you feel an inner knowing to do, doing what the voices tell you to do, basically.

And here were were, this weekend, five women who kept alive this knowing, this being, and the circumstances ranged, and now appear not irrelevant, but amazingly beautiful and complex living poems of meaning, each of us living out our song, and now, I think, each of us, will sing sweeter, clearer. I know I am.

And so, yes, I have thought it is cheating to let someone else help you, and this is maybe the best misunderstanding of them all to drop down onto the ground. Letting someone else in is this thing I stopped doing called being alive. It’s engaging. It’s trusting.

Each of us have our abilities, and our sensitivities, and our needs. Each of us see differently, know differently, and each of us are testaments to individuality, of seeing the thing through, of unspeakable pressure and unstoppable relief.

I am beyond grateful for having kept this soul appointment. I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for my life, and this path, this one here, in this skin, seeing from eyes with which I witnessed my first sunrise all those years and lessons and redemptions ago, moved and soothed by it all, in this sturdy and gentle body.

Thank each of you for loving me so much, and so well. Thank you for doing it so that I don’t question that you are here, sitting with me, part of my knowing that God is real and is walking this earth.

I had been feeling odd about this light thing that got picked up by my camera, and then I just checked facebook, and our Lovely who takes photos with a camera that sees orbs, my god, my god, it was like angelic soup that night! Ten pictures of orbs, hazes of light, in shapes, in tight circles.

No, it;s time to not think of any of it in anything but friendly terms. I am not the only only. Not the only one. I’m one of the Lovelies.

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